Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have said something?!

284 replies

Briony22 · 18/08/2022 18:21

At the supermarket earlier, and parked in a parent and child space with DH and 10 month old DS.

As I was getting DS out of the car a car pulled into the parent and child space next to us, and a woman got out and started walking towards the supermarket without any kids.

I called after her and said "You know you've parked in a P&C space, yeah?" and she started huffing and puffing that she had her son with her, who was in the car. I pointed out that the spaces are for parents with children who need the extra room to get them out of the car, and then she said that her son was disabled and that she had a disabled badge. I then said that the disabled spaces were in another area of the car park, at which point she started getting her son out of the car and telling him that he had to come into the shop "because that mental lady was kicking off".

I'm just so sick of entitled fuckers using these spaces without any need to when I've often struggled trying to get DS out of his car seat without sufficient space.

DH was mortified and said I should have just left it.

WIBU?

OP posts:
Ski4130 · 19/08/2022 10:33

Briony22 · 18/08/2022 18:21

At the supermarket earlier, and parked in a parent and child space with DH and 10 month old DS.

As I was getting DS out of the car a car pulled into the parent and child space next to us, and a woman got out and started walking towards the supermarket without any kids.

I called after her and said "You know you've parked in a P&C space, yeah?" and she started huffing and puffing that she had her son with her, who was in the car. I pointed out that the spaces are for parents with children who need the extra room to get them out of the car, and then she said that her son was disabled and that she had a disabled badge. I then said that the disabled spaces were in another area of the car park, at which point she started getting her son out of the car and telling him that he had to come into the shop "because that mental lady was kicking off".

I'm just so sick of entitled fuckers using these spaces without any need to when I've often struggled trying to get DS out of his car seat without sufficient space.

DH was mortified and said I should have just left it.

WIBU?

Wha ...? You had a go at someone with a child parking in a parent & child space? A person with a disabled child?! New low right there. Get over yourself.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 19/08/2022 10:33

In this particular instance YABU, as she had a disabled child with her.

I do think it’s out of order when perfectly able bodied adults on their own, or with older children (which I have) park in them. So I never would now mine are bigger.

But in your case YABU

allyouneedismarmite · 19/08/2022 10:36

@Meraas Still going to deny it?!

To have said something?!
To have said something?!
MalloryMae · 19/08/2022 10:40

@allyouneedismarmite 😂 ouch! Love a screenshot

allyouneedismarmite · 19/08/2022 10:45

MalloryMae · 19/08/2022 10:40

@allyouneedismarmite 😂 ouch! Love a screenshot

Thought I was going mad when she claimed she hadn’t sworn at me!

longtompot · 19/08/2022 11:12

I think just before you told the woman where the blue badge spaces are is where you should have stopped.

The woman was in the wrong by parking in a parent and child space and not getting their child out. The whole point of those spaces is to allow room to get a child out safely.

She then felt she had to justify to parking there as she had a blue badge. Was she displaying the badge? Again, if you are using a badge the owner needs to get out of the car with you.

Until this thread I didn't realise a blue badge holder could park in a parent and child space with their badge, which I was called ignorant for not knowing, and my daughters have both had blue badges for a long time (both in their 20s).

If the child or blue badge owner are not getting out of the car to go into the shop with you, you are meant to park in a normal parking space.

In future I think it would probably be best not to say anything and if you feel someone is taking the piss by parking in a p&c space, just make a note of the number plate and let the store know.

Meraas · 19/08/2022 11:13

allyouneedismarmite · 19/08/2022 10:45

Thought I was going mad when she claimed she hadn’t sworn at me!

Show quote history

Fair enough, thanks for pointing those out.

But I didn’t swear at you.

And bring so sensitive yourself yet militant about this poor woman is interesting.

allyouneedismarmite · 19/08/2022 11:27

Meraas · 19/08/2022 11:13

Fair enough, thanks for pointing those out.

But I didn’t swear at you.

And bring so sensitive yourself yet militant about this poor woman is interesting.

Show quote history

I’d prefer to have a discussion without being insulted. If that’s being sensitive then so be it.

At this point you have admitted that you would be happy for someone who doesn’t need the parking space to park in it at the expense of someone who does. So that’s where you stand on this matter. My view is different. You have insulted me and then lied about it while continuing to insult me. I honestly don’t care what you think of me. You don’t know me.

I’m not going to engage with you any more. As I said before, let’s agree to disagree. Enjoy the rest of your day.

Hopefullysoon2022 · 19/08/2022 11:33

We'll @Briony22 I hope the next time someone has the audacity to park in p&c places,you'll keep your gob shut.
Or the next time you mightn't come off so well.

turquoise1988 · 19/08/2022 17:06

Just because someone agree with the OP, it doesn't mean that they disrespect disabled rights Hmm.

As several people have pointed out, rights for the disabled, whether these are seen disabilities or not, are important.

I can't say I'd have said anything to the woman in question to be honest. But the OP was still technically correct - the disabled person in the car wasn't actually going to get out of the car, thus not warranting them needing the space. The woman only took her disabled child out after the OP made a point, because she felt embarrassed that someone else had noticed.

That's it really? I don't see how anyone can argue otherwise?

anglesee · 19/08/2022 17:25

She left her disabled kid in the car alone?

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL · 19/08/2022 17:25

turquoise1988 · 19/08/2022 17:06

Just because someone agree with the OP, it doesn't mean that they disrespect disabled rights Hmm.

As several people have pointed out, rights for the disabled, whether these are seen disabilities or not, are important.

I can't say I'd have said anything to the woman in question to be honest. But the OP was still technically correct - the disabled person in the car wasn't actually going to get out of the car, thus not warranting them needing the space. The woman only took her disabled child out after the OP made a point, because she felt embarrassed that someone else had noticed.

That's it really? I don't see how anyone can argue otherwise?

it still remains the OP isn't employed to police the parking at her local supermarket!

I think that's it really?

FarmerRefuted · 19/08/2022 19:27

anglesee · 19/08/2022 17:25

She left her disabled kid in the car alone?

Disabled doesn't equal helpless, disabled children can be left alone (needs depending, obviously).

Purpleforthewin · 19/08/2022 19:38

"The woman only took her disabled child out after the OP made a point, because she felt embarrassed that someone else had noticed.

That's it really? I don't see how anyone can argue otherwise?"

We don't actually know this though. The OP saw that woman walk away from the car with the child inside but she didn't wait to find out what would have happened next. I would leave my child in the car while getting a trolley as that can be easier but if harassed by someone I might be more inclined to carry her over to get away from that person quicker.

allyouneedismarmite · 19/08/2022 19:53

FarmerRefuted · 19/08/2022 19:27

Disabled doesn't equal helpless, disabled children can be left alone (needs depending, obviously).

Show quote history

I wondered about this too. But because he was a child, not because he was disabled. I’m assuming he was older and we’re not talking about a toddler.

allyouneedismarmite · 19/08/2022 19:54

Purpleforthewin · 19/08/2022 19:38

"The woman only took her disabled child out after the OP made a point, because she felt embarrassed that someone else had noticed.

That's it really? I don't see how anyone can argue otherwise?"

We don't actually know this though. The OP saw that woman walk away from the car with the child inside but she didn't wait to find out what would have happened next. I would leave my child in the car while getting a trolley as that can be easier but if harassed by someone I might be more inclined to carry her over to get away from that person quicker.

She told the child he had to go into the shop because of OP. So we do know.

turquoise1988 · 19/08/2022 20:00

@Purpleforthewin I don't know, I read this part of the OP which said that the woman the OP confronted was...

"telling him that he had to come into the shop "because that mental lady was kicking off".

I took that to mean that she wasn't going to take him in, but she ended up doing so because the OP spoke to her about those spaces being for people who needed to open doors wide enough.

As I said, I wouldn't have 'policed' the bays in the same way the OP did, but ultimately, what she is saying is right. You shouldn't use those spaces unless you need to open doors wide for access in and out of your vehicle.

People can dress it up with 'maybes' and emotive responses regarding disability, but we can only really take what the OP says at face value, as none of us were actually there at the same time, were we?

Purpleforthewin · 19/08/2022 20:28

allyouneedismarmite · 19/08/2022 19:54

She told the child he had to go into the shop because of OP. So we do know.

Show quote history

That doesn't mean anything particularly as we are hearing from the op who is obviously biased and probably paraphrased what they woman said

DemelzaandRoss · 19/08/2022 20:32

YABU. Just that. Not a good example for your own children either. To have a go at a person with a disabled child is extremely low.

allyouneedismarmite · 19/08/2022 20:39

Purpleforthewin · 19/08/2022 20:28

That doesn't mean anything particularly as we are hearing from the op who is obviously biased and probably paraphrased what they woman said

Show quote history

I’m going to refer you to the last paragraph of @turquoise1988’s post above.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL · 19/08/2022 20:43

turquoise1988 · 19/08/2022 20:00

@Purpleforthewin I don't know, I read this part of the OP which said that the woman the OP confronted was...

"telling him that he had to come into the shop "because that mental lady was kicking off".

I took that to mean that she wasn't going to take him in, but she ended up doing so because the OP spoke to her about those spaces being for people who needed to open doors wide enough.

As I said, I wouldn't have 'policed' the bays in the same way the OP did, but ultimately, what she is saying is right. You shouldn't use those spaces unless you need to open doors wide for access in and out of your vehicle.

People can dress it up with 'maybes' and emotive responses regarding disability, but we can only really take what the OP says at face value, as none of us were actually there at the same time, were we?

But what we do know is that OP was bang out of order playing parking police?

Wowwe · 19/08/2022 20:49

I would have fucked you right off. You was let off lightly imo

turquoise1988 · 19/08/2022 20:51

@LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Well, in your opinion she was bang out of order, and I've admitted that I wouldn't have said anything either. But I guess OP felt annoyed about it and felt like she should say something? It likely comes down to a) different personalities and how confident people feel about confrontation and b) the fact that we live in an increasingly entitled society where more people feel like they should speak up and challenge it.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL · 19/08/2022 21:00

turquoise1988 · 19/08/2022 20:51

@LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Well, in your opinion she was bang out of order, and I've admitted that I wouldn't have said anything either. But I guess OP felt annoyed about it and felt like she should say something? It likely comes down to a) different personalities and how confident people feel about confrontation and b) the fact that we live in an increasingly entitled society where more people feel like they should speak up and challenge it.

I guess good given the responses on here, she'll realise she's in the wrong and won't do it again?

When she followed up with, you don't know what people are dealing with was unbelievable self centred, because she was worrying about her and not the person she'd taken it upon herself to chastise.

A massive lesson learnt by Op!

Purpleforthewin · 19/08/2022 21:02

allyouneedismarmite · 19/08/2022 20:39

I’m going to refer you to the last paragraph of @turquoise1988’s post above.

Show quote history

Exactly none of us know the full story including the op.