"Are you getting help with your anxiety OP?"

[rejectshampoodemandtherealpoo]

What help?

The NHS doesn't offer any help. If you go to the NHS and say ‘I'm anxious’ they will usually prescribe you whatever the drug representatives have been selling to their practice of late, usually selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. They don’t help people with a state of anxiety.
Private counselling is expensive.

Everyone gets anxious. But when it begins to affect your life (again really everyone has periods) then it can be a diagnosable condition. Most people with extreme anxiety, diagnosed or not, are doing something to help, or they are spiralling out of control. I've had both.

But I can categorically tell you one thing that doesn't help; someone asking “are you getting help with your anxiety OP?”
First of all it’s a virtue signal with a connotation of “because I would never let my anxiety take over like this, you're pathetic, as opposed myself who is so well put together”

Secondly, it's akin to “you need help” but then offering absolutely zero help.

It's overdone and we all know what it really means. It shows you give zero craps about the person. If you gave a crap you'd do one of two things;
offer relatable advice or comfort “I've been there” “here's how I cope”.

refrain from comment.

You're showing yourself up.

I don't know about treatment , but I agree it's a horribly condescending thing to say and no one is ever genuinely suggesting help, only that OP is being ridiculous.

Generally that is posted when the OP has posted something that is not that anxiety inducing TBF, especially in AIBU.

It's because so many people post ridiculous threads without acknowledging that it's their state mind that might be the issue. Then of course there's always a few who will jump in to stoke their fears

Not anxiety inducing to the commenter perhaps but anxiety is personal, isn't it? What makes you anxious might not make me so and vice versa. It's a twatty reply.

State of mind

that's exactly what anxiety as a condition is though, that's exactly my point.

Exactly because they "have anxiety" and are not just having normal anxious states.

I agree with the principle of what you say - but I disagre with your anti medication slant. You may not find them helpful but some people do use SSRIs effectively for anxiety and it's something worth trying - implying it isn't for anyone based on your own experience is unhelpful and may discourage someone seeking needed support. Yours truly someone functioning again thanks to low dose of citalopram.

It's becoming clear from the first few comments that it's true that most people on here simply have no idea what it's like.

Had a nice normal upbringing with little trauma and no idea what it's like to be so messed up with anxiety that you end up asking for help on a site from women.... who go on to basically belittle you.

It's disgusting behaviour really. And you wouldn't do it to the person's face. Cowardice.

We all need to make our own informed medical decisions. Citalopram induced suicidal thoughts in myself.

There's nothing wrong from giving an opinion which may cause someone to seek more information before starting a medication.

I'm glad it helped you. Do you envisage coming off it at some point?

I agree and cringe when I see it written here. It would almost be better if they wrote the subtext more genuinely ‘why are you being such a weirdo OP?’ than any faux concern. Everyone, to greater or lesser degrees, gets anxious about things and it’s not a rational way to think. Talking about it and seeking reassurance is normal and heathy (within perameters I guess)

I don't agree with removing people's agency by censoring discussions or comments around the possible and often found negative impacts of medications.

I wouldn't even call it faux concern.

the person will know it won't even come across as concern.

What it is is taking the piss out of the person from behind a screen where if they met the person in real life they would never say such a thing.

Best comment so far, twatty is right. It's twatty at best and much more at worst.

Well I work in the nhs and see nhs clients for cbt and emdr so there is help out there, but yes we do operate waiting lists so it's not immediate help x

DD has anxiety caused by a chronic disease. Sertraline has helped her massively and she is now seeing friends and returning to uni after a break. We don't expect her to be on them for ever, just until she settles in.

But I also understand the nature of your post of some people on here are rude op xx

I self referred to NHS therapy last week and have a session next week. Pretty good I thought?

I have been on anxiety medication myself a couple of times after getting help, but I was referring more to the 'storm in a teacup' threads where the scenario is more than a little .

If people feel strongly that it's 'twatty' or a personal attack they should report?

I know. CBT is amazing I think. I use it. I do it myself using youtube and books and learning about the technique, understanding it, and implementing it for myself. It's done wonders for me. Unfortunately the NHS simply doesn't help when it takes that long and you only get a few sessions.

If anyone wants to hear more about what I've done I'm glad to share. But I know information is out there and really it takes the person to take complete control of their own life and really want to change.

It's a hard journey but very worth it. I don't think you can induce a person to seek help, and I think once they do take control and seek that help themselves that's really the only way they will see permanent change.

I got some talking therapy on the NHS. Waited about a month. It was helpful with my own caregiving anxiety, though not a magic bullet.

Often posters seem to think it is normal and healthy to only see their husbands/ partners and DC for years on end. That is not normal or healthy. And they should seek help.

@rejectshampoodemandtherealpoo Why are you sorry? I said I have been on anxiety medication myself.

I did come off it for a little over 2 years, to get pregnant and have a baby and bf. I was doing ok without it but post birth I now get the most crippling PMS/PMDD so after googling around it I experimented with taking a low dose of my leftovers in the two weeks before my period. Transformative. And it reminded me how much BETTER life was when I was on a daily dose - how much calmer, happier and carefree I am when I am on it - and decided to request a represcription because it honestly does make me a much better parent. I may try coming off it again when my children are a little older and life isn't so relentless - but I may not. It makes my life so so much easier and I have no noticeable side effects.

Absolutely won't work for everyone. I'm sorry you had such a bad time on it. But saying SSRIs "don't help people with a state of anxiety" as a blanket thing is just flat out not true - some it will help. Some it won't. It's definitely worth exploring, especially when as you say talking therapy is so hard to come by.

I never cease to be amazed and grateful that for a small fee I can take a small pill and am no longer weeping daily and convinced everybody hates me, not shouting at my children or shit-talking about myself in front of them because I have some control over my moods. It gives me the space in my head to reflect and then respond to stimulus instead of reacting instantly and dysfunctionally.

I think sometimes it's a way of suggesting that the level of anxiety is out of kilter with the issue. I don't think some people realise that their anxiety is out of control.

And there is help - medication, therapy - and they do help a lot of sufferers. So please don't dismiss them out of hand as useless because they're not helped you.

I don't think people with anxiety are pathetic. I do think they have a MH issue and that we shouldn't be afraid to name it or acknowledge it.