"Are you getting help with your anxiety OP?"

[rejectshampoodemandtherealpoo]

What help?

The NHS doesn't offer any help. If you go to the NHS and say ‘I'm anxious’ they will usually prescribe you whatever the drug representatives have been selling to their practice of late, usually selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. They don’t help people with a state of anxiety.
Private counselling is expensive.

Everyone gets anxious. But when it begins to affect your life (again really everyone has periods) then it can be a diagnosable condition. Most people with extreme anxiety, diagnosed or not, are doing something to help, or they are spiralling out of control. I've had both.

But I can categorically tell you one thing that doesn't help; someone asking “are you getting help with your anxiety OP?”
First of all it’s a virtue signal with a connotation of “because I would never let my anxiety take over like this, you're pathetic, as opposed myself who is so well put together”

Secondly, it's akin to “you need help” but then offering absolutely zero help.

It's overdone and we all know what it really means. It shows you give zero craps about the person. If you gave a crap you'd do one of two things;
offer relatable advice or comfort “I've been there” “here's how I cope”.

refrain from comment.

You're showing yourself up.

Your opinion is valid, but that's all it is

Which goes for everyone on the thread. Just sharing their valid opinions which others may or may not agree with. That's AIBU.

I have anxiety, if someone asks for help I talk about what i did to reduce anxiety levels. NHS does have, counselling, CBT, iapt, mindfulness and stress courses. As well as meds and a lot of la's and charities offer mh support. But I agree it's not as straightforward as "getting help" and jumping through hoops is the last thing a person with anxiety needs to be doing

If this thread is inducing anxiety, try this Ted Talk;

Thank you for asking. It's a genuine enquiry and you obviously care.

You can help in two ways when it comes to the specific point of anxiety:

Offer practical help which you have seen or experienced working.

Ignore that aspect of the post completely and just engage with the main point of the post.

Others may have other suggestions.

Exactly, as do I. If I see a post of which I have no experience I don't engage because I don't see how I can help.

Experiences cross over, and given our varied life experiences we may be able to offer some transferable information.

But say for example I see a post about a child with severe autism, I don't ever comment, I may read out of interest but I wouldn't engage because I have absolutely zero experience of it.

I know. Don't see your point though.

"Have you got help for your anxiety OP?" is not an opinion, not helpful, not a genuine concern, etc. etc.

I don't have anxiety but I have experienced this any time I mention my C-PTSD or BPD. I am currently on a twelve month waiting list for CBT on the NHS. I've had some 'therapy' for C-PTSD which has been two videos to watch and nothing else. Meanwhile I constantly get told to 'just get therapy'. Yeah, helpful. Much sympathies OP x

I'm in two minds about this because in a lot of these posts it's very clear that the poster's mental health is going to have a really adverse effect on their DC. And if that person is not aware that their state of mind isn't healthy, they aren't going to address it and that isn't good for the child.

I'm also not anti medication - it's really helped my DD2.

I think the Health topics are great, for support for specific conditions I've had advice from them in the past, but I meant more that sometimes people should be accessing proper RL therapy from professionals for depression/anxiety and would be better off doing that than trying to get it on here.
Online support is great, I agree, sharing experiences etc with others going through the same.

Very glad to hear it.

I'm actually fine today. That's why I felt okay to post this.

I helped myself mostly, and an eclectic gathering of input from various people on websites was a big part. I learned some harsh truths that can take a while to accept. I heard different opinions which I absorbed and my subconscious chipped away at. some brilliant books and lectures and focusing on appreciating the wonderful life I have.

I suffer from anxiety. Take medication and therapy. I wouldn't be offended though by a comment "are you getting help". Plenty people on this forum write posts that could only indicate they need help really...

Its not a" you're pathetic " post
More like a "you should get help" post.

Although i gues some people would look down on people with anxiety. If you've never experienced it i can understand why people would find it hard to imagine...

This has become a very nuanced discussion but I'll carry on as it's so interesting.

Coming online and gathering view is not therapy in and of itself. What it is is input. Harsh input is great, gentle input is great too, it can all work to gaining perspective.

It's but one part of self-help.

But I will reiterate that what isn't help and what isn't information and what isn't harsh nor gentle, but what is just condescending virtue signalling assholery is

"are you getting help with your anxiety OP?"

OMG this is exactly what I wanted to say!! I completely understand your point of view. I'm annoyed when people say you should see GP or need professional help. It's to me a borderline indifference or even slight annoyance or ignorance. In reality what depressed, anxious, sad people need is conversation or sympathy or just simple your being there next to them. Not all of them need medication or GP.

"You can help in two ways when it comes to the specific point of anxiety:

Offer practical help which you have seen or experienced working."

Bs op!!

It's like parenting. Dont offer me your "well intended" advise. It is patronising and noone asked for it.

Plus anxiety doesn't have 1 strategy that will fix us all 🙄

I don't know what the answer is , unless starting a thread in Site Stuff requesting that MNHQ make 'Are you getting help with your anxiety OP?' a phrase that goes against TGs.
Similar was said about the phrase 'Are you the OW OP?'

the very idea that a person posting on here with obvious strong anxiety doesn't realise they need help is laughable.

Again, my point proven.

"You should get help"

And may I ask exactly what help you think that comment could possibly provide?

It's getting quite amusing.

I'm reading this as you trying to speak for everyone with anxiety which I find very extreme. you may not find it helpful but others might.
Such comments are usually followed by other helpful ways the OP can seek help (probably more depending on the OP's answer to the question).
Such comments can prompt the OP to start seeking help.
So for you to categorically say that It doesn't help ANYONE, is a bit shocking to me to say the least.

YANBU.

I don't want it banned. I'm having a moan and a self-serving cathartic moment. perhaps others will agree and take comfort. Perhaps some will laugh.

I'm not into censorship.

OP, have you read Prozac Nation? I read it when it came out years ago. Found it terrifying and was very anti medication for depression and anxiety. Of course back then, I didn't have an ill DD struggling in a pandemic. I have changed my mind on lots of things now.

One thing that has helped me a lot as a caregiver is exercise. Very boring and perhaps may sound like a patronising suggestion. But it does help me greatly.

Yes I agree it does sound condescending however some people really do overreact to seemingly minor issues because they suffer with anxiety. I know this because I am one of those people! I could tell you 10 problems I have but the issue is really my anxiety not the minor problems I'm obsessing about. So in that sense it is a valid question. I personally found antidepressants to be extremely helpful for my anxiety. The difference was like night and day. They also helped my DH with his anxiety. I realise they don't work for everyone.

Okay but...

how does that comment help?

Yes that will be because of all the anxiety.

Ignore them OP, it is so passive aggressive and shows that prejudice around mental health is still very much around. Some people just don't get it; they're probably the ones who also say, "Pull your socks up!" to someone with depression and think anyone can just 'snap out of' a psychotic episode. Access to mental health services is not as easy as some people think and private counselling is out of reach for many - a one hour session can cost upwards of £50.

I'm having a moan and a self-serving cathartic moment.

Ok then.