"Are you getting help with your anxiety OP?"

[rejectshampoodemandtherealpoo]

What help?

The NHS doesn't offer any help. If you go to the NHS and say ‘I'm anxious’ they will usually prescribe you whatever the drug representatives have been selling to their practice of late, usually selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. They don’t help people with a state of anxiety.
Private counselling is expensive.

Everyone gets anxious. But when it begins to affect your life (again really everyone has periods) then it can be a diagnosable condition. Most people with extreme anxiety, diagnosed or not, are doing something to help, or they are spiralling out of control. I've had both.

But I can categorically tell you one thing that doesn't help; someone asking “are you getting help with your anxiety OP?”
First of all it’s a virtue signal with a connotation of “because I would never let my anxiety take over like this, you're pathetic, as opposed myself who is so well put together”

Secondly, it's akin to “you need help” but then offering absolutely zero help.

It's overdone and we all know what it really means. It shows you give zero craps about the person. If you gave a crap you'd do one of two things;
offer relatable advice or comfort “I've been there” “here's how I cope”.

refrain from comment.

You're showing yourself up.

Unfortunately I can no longer keep up with replies and will inevitably move onto a new thread after doing my work. I have another thread open with 19 pages of really interesting information so it's unlikely I'll get to read any further responses.

Thanks for all input, and I do mean all. I'll process it all now including the criticisms for myself.

Thanks OP. It was a good thread, and you ran it well!

I'm glad you raised this OP 😊

We don’t blame a lion for going mad in a zoo but somehow we think humans are different.

Thank you, I hadn't looked at it like that before, I think you're right.

People saying you can access mental health services - maybe it is easier in some areas than others but some people are afraid to reach out due to the stigma around mental health difficulties. This particularly applies to new mums who might be afraid of being carted off by the 'men in white coats' or having their babies taken away.

As for medication, it isn't an easy fix either and doesn't suit everyone. I personally found antidepressants to have a numbing effect, but not in a good way - I couldn't feel really sad but I couldn't feel really happy either and it killed my sex life off. They are also notoriously difficult to wean off; the side effects, even gradually reducing doses as advised, were brutal.

Well as a comment sometimes it’s a put down and sometimes it’s reasonable.

Lots of people do find SSRS helpful for anxiety though, so you are wrong on that front. There is also some NHS provision for CBT (albeit far less than there should be) so you aren’t entirely right about that either.

@Sunshinegirl82

And then we’re diagnosed as if we’re at fault and expected to take SSRI’s to cope with it because if we don’t then somehow we only have ourselves to blame.
We don’t blame a lion for going mad in a zoo but somehow we think humans are different.

I actually have HSV so my anxiety on this with both my newborns was through the roof. The idea I could kill them with a kiss just plagued me day and night. Luckily I'm rarely symptomatic now, and they're older so it's less of a worry but I do think most younger HSV carriers who know they have the virus are conscious of the risk and extremely careful. The danger is older people who don't understand that herpes and cold sores are THE SAME THING and don't realise they can be so dangerous to newborns.

l personally do not expect other people to understand anxiety, esp if it is an anxiety disorder, unless they have experianced it themselves. Abit like a panic attack, people assume you just feel abit panicky, but the symptons are frightening and very distressing. l am quite a confident woman, little actually scares me, but l have sufferend anxiety and panic attacks previously, its difficult to articulate how debilitating they are, l used to try and mask mine, it was incredibly difficult.
l think once you accept you have a sensitive nervous system as in the day to day stimuli will affect you more, noise, crowds, lack of sleep, poor diet all contribute as well as over thinking, and that your body is simply trying to protect you, hence the adrenalin rush and then the fight or flight symotons kick in, it does get abit easier.
As for medication l haven't gone down that route, but we have thousands of young students who are inflicted by this mental health issue, no help to be found and rightly or wrongly medication is not available. It took me several years to conquer my anxiety, l read up every book ever written and tried different stratergies, in the end just allowing the symptons to come, to stay with it, no matter how horrific l felt and knowing like a wave they would reach a peak and then start receeding, is how l managed mine.
I agree there is little in the way of support, sympathy or help. My 13 yr old son felt deeply ashamed and distressed that he couldnt get into school, he couldnt tell his friends, he was angry with himself, it was an awful time, he is now HS and manages his anxiety better, we literally went to hell and back, l was just viewed as a single parent who couldnt get her son to school.

I've had CBT on the NHS, I only have my experience and I'm sure different areas offer different things, but I got 6 2-hour group classes where we spent a lot of time learning about meditation and mindfulness. It was worthwhile and I did get something out of it but it wasn't till I paid for private CBT one-to-one counselling sessions that I realised how useful CBT can be, it was very different and gave me some solid tools. The NHS uses CBT because it is measurable, they also offer the shortest number of sessions possible. Often people need more than what is offered. Just my experience/opinion.

My intention with that question is to actually find out the answer though. I'm interested in whether the person is aiming to or has come off the medications as I have a personal interest in that data (as unscientific as the collection is of course)

And like you, that may very well be the exact intentions of the "are you getting help" posters. They may genuinely just want to know if the OP is getting the help they need.

So I don't agree it's the same because "are you getting help with your anxiety op?" I don't believe they genuinely want an answer or have anything to offer after that. Do you see what I mean?

I definitely think most people do want an answer or are trying to help in some way.

Especially on a forum that’s mostly mums and PND or any MH is still such a taboo topic in the real world.

Not many new mums feel they can tell their family or friends that they hate their new baby or their having suicidal feelings - so having responses like ‘have you been to see a GP about it?’ sounds like common sense but it isn’t to everyone.

The lady that is having anxiety about getting a new kitchen is getting lots of ‘obvious’ advice but when you have anxiety you don’t think straight so it’s nice having that support.
And if someone says ‘are you getting help with your anxiety?’ - it would be hopefully from a place of kindness as they can see that it’s affecting her life.
Of course you get some twats too.

If you want a rant without responses then just write it down in a diary.
But people come on here to get advice and opinions and one of those is going to be to get help if you suffer with anxiety just like it would be for a broken leg.

This.

If you are in England you can self refer to your local IAPT service for support with anxiety. The NHS does provide this.

@justagirlstandinginfrontofcake See my previous post - some people don't want to access these services through fear. Some people like to post questions on an anonymous forum because they're worried about something and don't feel they can approach anyone in real life. Questions like "Are you getting help for your anxiety?" can come across as unhelpful and condescending to someone feeling vulnerable. Also, the primary reaction in the NHS is to stick people on drugs, drugs that can take a lifetime to come off and are not always the answer.

@Vincitveritas IAPT won't prescribe drugs, they are purely a therapy service. (Improving Access to Psychological Therapies).

I have seen posts here where people really should be encouraged to get help because their responses are very much over the top and not rational. I am pleased I was encouraged to get help when I needed it. Also, asking if someone has diagnosed anxiety and if they are getting help can flavour the response. If someone is posting a very OTT anxious message, if they answer yes to getting help for anxiety can lead to "have you tried coping mechanisms you have been taught" or asking if, for example, they are catastrophising rather than having a rational response.

@justagirlstandinginfrontofcake I see what you're saying, I just read that particular phrase to mean, "What a silly thing to get worked up over! As a far superior being, I would never get worked up about a thing like that! You must have 'ishoos'". Thankfully I think it's only a minority.

Just for anyone struggling to know what to expect reaching out- I’m a CBT therapist for the NHS in IAPT. Waiting times vary (much better at the moment, in part due to the sunny weather) but typically:

1. patient self refers online or through GP


2. referral is triaged (read by a senior clinician to check there are no red flags that mean they should immediately be signposted elsewhere)


3. Wait time (typically a few weeks, could be longer/shorter depending on factors like priority and availability)


4. patient contacted by text or email and asked to call to book an assessment (usually needs to be done on the phone as appointments move too fast to do over email)


5. Assessment with a CBT therapist or Psychological Wellbeing Practitioner (usually phone and 45 mins-an hour)


6. Assessor get clinical supervision to run treatment plan past another clinician


7. treatment plan confirmed with patient


8. Wait time for treatment (at the moment in my service it’s about a week)


9. patient asked to call and book treatment

this is all specific to my trust in terms of timing but broadly this is IAPT procedure everywhere.

I agree with this.

I’ve had significant issues with anxiety all my life, but I also believe that it’s on me to deal with it and not lump the problem on others either by relying on them to help/make me feel better, or by having to put up with anxiety-driven behaviour.

I’m the first to say that the NHS provision usually isn’t good enough but I do find that posters who say “Are you getting help with this anxiety?” either literally mean that the OP should be getting some help or it’s an - admittedly passive aggressive - way of saying “This is a completely unjustified overreaction and you need to get a grip”.

This! Also my wonferful GP has listened to me bumbling on for hours and given me lots of sensible advice.

YANBU. It definitely is a twatty thing to say, and a twatty way of phrasing it. How hard would it be to instead ask mire kindly if the OP is suffering from anxiety?

It would be helpful though (and maybe head off most of the more twatty replies) if OPs didn't drip-feed about their anxiety - e.g. posting about a very minor-seeming issue, waiting for umpteen posters to say 'Huh - why is that a problem?!' before saying 'Well I do have severe anxiety actually'.