Taking kids into adult caffe at leisure centre

[mamasharkdoodoo]

I've recently joined a huge gym/ leisure centre.

There is an area for kids, with tables and games etc.

There is only one caffe and today I took my DC there.

I have never seen other kids in the caffe. It's like they only hang out in the kids room with their parents.

I felt like I had a few looks. My toddler kicked off after a while and I left immediately, as not to disturb people. Normal procedure.

Kids are definitely allowed in the caffe. I find it a bit sad and telling of our society that other parents don't seem to take their kids in the caffe. Kids are part of life.

Would you just stay in the kid area ? Do you think it's rude to take your kids to the caffe ?

The very first response said it was fine to have taken your child to the cafe.

@PurpleDaisies you're just being pedantic though. It's clearly what people mean / are saying. That I shouldn't be disturbing everyone with my child...

It’s not pedantic to point out that not all posters are saying what you are alleging they said.

Exactly

Oops posted too quick
meant to say exactly what you shouldn’t be doing

This is such a strange post.
OP- AIBU for thinking that people were a bit irritated when my toddler kicked off in a quiet space generally used by adults?
Everybody: Yes, your probably right about that.
OP: I KNEW IT!!!

Your child created a disturbance... 🤣

I am so confused.

If you’re saying that “all people” think tantrumming toddlers should be taken out from posh cafes, I agree. You clearly do to because that’s what you did and you said it was the right thing to do.

You also seemed to be saying that “all people” think children have no place in posh cafes. There are lots of posts saying the opposite, including some of mine earlier on the thread.

Would you like to clarify what you meant?

You say you find it peculiar how much children bother people, but I think that is because many parents let their children bother people and do nothing to stop it. You didn't. As soon as your toddler kicked off you removed him. But so many people think it is acceptable to let their DC run riot and annoy people without checking them, which is why I think the reluctance kicks in.

I also see you come from a culture where you always went to restaurants with your parents. I think this is good too but could I hazard a guess that you were meant to stay at the table and not race around annoying fellow diners?

We took our DD in to restaurants with us from about 2 but were always careful at first about choosing the place and time and being prepared to make sure she wasn't a problem to anyone. By 4 or 5 we could take her to eat anywhere and knew her behaviour would be perfectly OK. However we found it frustrating when we came across the odd place that didn't welcome children while at the same time understanding why given the way done children were allowed to behave.

OP, you also don't think you should be disturbing people with your child. Your OP literally says she kicked off and you left immediately so as not to disturb people. You've decided that being looked at means that people thought your child shouldn't be there, and have now extended this to thinking that of every person on the thread. Most people on the thread have in fact said what you said in your OP, that children who are disturbing people should be removed. So what on earth is the issue? I'm literally so confused.

That is a bit ridiculous. At our local gym they have a hall they use for children's classes.

Like people who get annoyed when they go for a pub meal without their children and moan when other people have their children. It isn't a fine dining place so kids are indeed allowed.

The UK is so intolerant of children

It's a cafe OP - don't know why some PPs are being so weird

I think we all should try not to disturb each other. Children, adults, dogs whatever it is.

But that doesn't mean you never take your kids to places ! You just try to teach them to behave and if they don't, you remove them.

You're literally in agreement with pretty much everyone on the thread, then. I'm perhaps the one exception as I don't think you should take children to the very expensive restaurants which are selling an atmosphere, unless you know they're going to behave and not remove the benefit of that atmosphere (even if quickly removed).

Why do you find it peculiar? Is it really that shocking to you that not everyone likes children? :/

If you go to a 'posh' gym, then expect 'posh' people who don't like kids.

I have young kids, and I know they'd much rather go to the kids bit than sit in the cafe. So I'd buy a cold drink and drink it in the kids bit.

Or possibly people who've left their own kids with a babysitter so don't want to listen to someone else's kid squawking?!

I felt like I had a few looks

I’m guessing those looks were less “oh no, it’s a child!” and more “it’s that woman again”.

Sure...

Excellent. Most of us are agreed on that.

OP you seem to have practically forced people to say "Well yes, ideally if I go to a posh place I'd rather have peace and quiet than kids making a racket' so that you can jump up and down indignantly going 'see, see everyone hates kids'.

It's all a bit pointless

But yes. Yes. I could not agree more with this.

The trouble is the people who don't try to teach them how to behave and don't remove them when they start acting up. And unfortunately this seems to happen so often that people now do feel a bit wary when someone with a small child shows up.

You make a big thing of kids being part of life and wanting to take them to places but even you admit you would remove them if they started to disturb people.

Read through the entire thread and came to this conclusion.

OP, the kids are fine, you’re the unwelcome one. Imagine you’re an absolute delight to the service staff.

You are just going round and round in circles here.

You specifically asked if YABU to take your dc into an adult cafe.
Everyone obviously said you were.
You said you were going to anyway.
Everyone asked what was the point in you asking then.

You turned that in to an assumption that everyone in society hates dc.
Lots of people have explained that not wanting small dc running around, shouting out and generally disturbing folk is quite reasonable in many places for all sorts of reasons and once again you have turned that in to "society hates dc", despite many posters explaining to you that isn't the case at all.

Of course, if the dc just sit quietly and talk quietly to their adult, then no-one would even notice them. But we all know those aren't the dc we are talking about.

It seems you are specifically just trying to make a point that society hates dc. So why not own that from the beginning ?