Taking kids into adult caffe at leisure centre

[mamasharkdoodoo]

I've recently joined a huge gym/ leisure centre.

There is an area for kids, with tables and games etc.

There is only one caffe and today I took my DC there.

I have never seen other kids in the caffe. It's like they only hang out in the kids room with their parents.

I felt like I had a few looks. My toddler kicked off after a while and I left immediately, as not to disturb people. Normal procedure.

Kids are definitely allowed in the caffe. I find it a bit sad and telling of our society that other parents don't seem to take their kids in the caffe. Kids are part of life.

Would you just stay in the kid area ? Do you think it's rude to take your kids to the caffe ?

Yep this! Sod all the others trying to take some time off from lifes worries.

Blimey op you are really hard work and seem to be desperate to find something to be offended about on behalf of your offspring. This was a non event.

Given that you'll take your kids where you want I'm not sure why you're curious. It depends on the atmosphere, surely. Most pubs make provision for families now so kids are welcome (though should be able to behave - no running around unless in designated soft play area/playground). Most restaurants are the same. The only exception for me is the very expensive restaurants which are 'selling' an atmosphere as part of the experience. Many of these ban children. The ones that don't, well, you're free to take your kids there but if they're the types to make a lot of noise and/or want to run about, then yes, it's a crappy thing to do.

Not really. I just find it peculiar how much children bother people.

My parents took us everywhere at all sorts of hours too when we were kids. We had to fit into their lives. Cultural differences I guess.

Annoying children bother people. The children’s area is there most likely for their benefit as much as the adults. It sounds like they can safely run around and make noise there which isn’t possible in a regular cafe because of hot drinks etc.

You really seem to be looking for a reason to be offended here. The cafe does not ban children. Lots of parents are choosing to use the other area because it suits their needs best. Isn’t that a win? Why should they have to use the main cafe?

Even when children aren't having a tantrum they can still make a bit of a racket. If there's a silent understanding that people don't bring kids into the cafe, and your child was in there making noise, banging cutlery off the table, shouting for your attention or whatever I can understand other members feeling a bit irritated.

I find this thread odd. Surely you can work out what is going to be appropriate, enjoyable and manageable for your child? If the cafe isn't actually adults only, but there's an expectation of calm and quiet, then it seems clear to me that your DC is welcome there (like any other customer) so long as they're not making an unreasonable amount of noise but, at the point at which they're running around or having a meltdown, it's time to take them out. A happy, babbling child making a bit of noise is fine...charging about the place and a full-on tantrum is not.

My parents took us everywhere at all sorts of hours too when we were kids. We had to fit into their lives. Cultural differences I guess

Nothing to do with cultural differences. This is always trotted out about the UK and it's nonsense, my son is nearly 20 and we took him everywhere (other than Michelin starred restaurants). But he was able to behave himself and didn't shriek and shout, and sat nicely at the table and didn't run around getting under the waiting staff's feet.

People don't like badly behaved noisy kids. They are entirely happy to have quiet, well behaved ones around.

I would take kids into the cafe. But if there was a kids room they could enjoy I would be more likely to take them there.
Nothing to feel sad about, but they are more likely to have fun where there are games provided for them.

Yes. God forbid that adults and off-duty parents could have a child free area to relax in.

If you’re so sure of your position on this, as you seem to be from this response and the others saying you’ll take your children where you please, why did you bother posting? It’s disingenuous to ask for advice which you’ve already decided you’ll ignore.

OP, how do you know there aren't children in this cafe at other times of day? You're hardly in there 24/7, right?

Your question seems pointless because the cafe isn't an actual "adults only" space and you don't have any evidence that you and your child were unwelcome there.

It sounds like you just wanted something to hang a general "British culture is anti-child" discussion onto but your example isn't very relevant.

I think the general question about how child-friendly different cultures/countries are is an interesting one. But you're not going to get actual accurate data from a discussion on here, you'll just get a few random opinions. That's not actually going to answer the question.

We don't actually know she left as soon as the child began making an annoying level of noise.

"I felt like I had a few looks"

But you probably didn't. You seem very over sensitive to this, I think you imagined it.

Honestly I would hate this. I went out to lunch at a really nice restaurant yesterday. A couple turned up at the next table with a couple of twin toddlers who screamed and ran around and cried and were generally really bloody annoying.

They ruined everybody else's lunch.

I have a kid, she’s very much part of my life. She doesn’t have to be part of someone at a posh gym’s café though, they are allowed childfree downtime whether they love or loathe children.

@elenacampana and I am allowed to grab a coffee there, just like them. With my kid, if that's the situation.

Caffe is a perfectly acceptable spelling. Half of Europe spell it like this.

You’re posting about a non-issue. Nothing happened.

Why do you keep writing ‘kids are part of life’ over and over? 🥴

I think she’s possessed by the feeling that anyone who doesn’t want to be around kids every waking minute is an uptight child-hater.

Your toddler "kicked off" when taken into the adult part. To your credit, you took them out (lots don't), but can you really not see why they wouldn't be wanted there?

The situation was your kid was kicking off. Nobody wants to listen to it.

Yes you're 'allowed' to. But you asked a question and some if us are explaining why people might be annoyed by it

I'm allowed smoke at the bus stop if I like. Other people are allowed find it annoying.

There are lots of disturbances though. There was a bunch of people laughing and chatting very loudly, another guy on the phone, telling his life story. If you need silence, stay at home.

Or go to the quiet area of the caffe, where people who are working from home sit..

Maybe they don't need total silence (who actually would expect silence in a public place??), just don't want to listen to toddlers having a tantrum, and you freely admit yours was?
Why are you trying to assert your God given right to inflict that on other people?