August babies shouldn't be allowed to move down a year

[SapphosRock]

My DD has a late August birthday, she is 6 nearly 7 and about to go into Year 3.

A friend in her class (let's call her Lucy) has an early August birthday but was allowed to move down a year. She is already 8.

No special needs, her mum just decided she would prefer her DD to be the oldest in the class rather than one of the youngest.

This has impacted my DD in a few ways. She is good at sports but being the youngest means she doesn't often win. On Sports Day Lucy came first in the year 2 running race. My DD came 4th so missed out on a medal.

Lucy had a sleepover for her 8th birthday and invited the girls in DD's class. Most went but I didn't think DD was ready for a sleepover as she's still only 6 so she missed out on a fun party.

Lucy got the biggest speaking part in the Christmas play as she is the most confident and articulate.

AIBU and precious to think Lucy should have been kept in the correct year group?

Sounds like you are jealous of the fact that Lucy’s parents made a choice that benefits their child but you haven’t done the same for your child.

What you really mean Op is that your dd's needs should trump Lucy's.

What @Eastangular2000 said. Lucy's mum obviously made the right choice for her DD and she's thriving.

UK system is broken - children SHOULD NOT start school at the age of 4. It is too young and in general do not make british smarter than i.e. Nordic people who start school at age of 7!

It sounds as though you have made Lucy's parents' decision about you.

Where is the cut off though? I could keep my DD back a year, as could everyone with a child born in August which would just mean every baby born in July is the youngest.

Sounds like you don't like Lucy very much. You could keep your daughter down a year too if you want to hold her back.

My DD came 4th so missed out on a medal.

REALLY? Have a word with yourself.

Lucy’s parents made the decision that was right for Lucy.

it’s not their fault you decided your daughter wasn’t mature enough for a sleepover. Or that she won a race.

It’s a difficult situation but the research proves that august babies are often behind and have more difficulties, which is what you are finding now. That’s why your friend did what she did. There may also be some benefits to your daughter being pushed and finishing school a year earlier. It depends on the child.

Your friend hasn’t done anything wrong. You can easily keep yours behind too if you want.

You could have done the same, you chose not to. How's is that Lucy's parents fault ?

Sour grapes?? 🍇
Maybe you should have kept your dd down a year if you were going to get so worked up about something so trivial.
The girl is only a couple of weeks ( or possibly even days) older than others in the class for heaven's sake!
I doubt it had much of an impact on a running race, and it was your choice that made your dd miss out on the sleepover.

In Scotland you can defer children and it works very well

YABU - nothing to do with you. Many reasons a summer-born kid might start a year later.

Sounds like Lucys parents made the right choice and it's done wonders for Lucy and her confidence

I have two summer borns. The first is top of the class in everything, absolutely flying, the 2nd is struggling particularly with covid and I wish she'd had the extra year at home/nursery. They're all different and parent try to do what's best for THEIR child, no one else's

Someone always has to be last

But they would still be a month more mature.

every child is different. Circumstances differ. For many children who are at the younger end of the year then an extra year will have them so much more ready. It’s right that option is easier to access now.

😳

Okay I am clearly U!

Just though it was a tad unfair my DD is expected to work / perform at the same level as a girl 13 months older than her.

The problem with this is many children very much are ready for school. I teach and see so many children thrive in Reception. My own child is about to start school and I can imagine nothing worse than another year at nursery - summer born but more than ready academically and socially.

Allowing children to stay back a year seems the obvious answer but it has caused a lot of issues in Scotland where it has been the norm for perhaps 20 years. Middle class parents do it almost by default so you end up with the socially disadvantaged winter born (as it is there, different cut off so youngest in year) children at a double disadvantage as they are with children almost 18m older than them.

But there would still be children in the class a year older than your daughter, even if the cut off was a strict 1st Sept?? Dd's birthday is 29th August and her best friend from the class is 2nd September the year before. A full year (less three days) between them. They're now young adults but have been best friends since Reception.

Also, if Lucy stayed down, then your daughter could have too?

The cut off is May.

Jealousy doesn’t suit you OP.

Actually OP I don’t think YABU. Someone has to be the youngest.

there is a child in my child’s class who has a May birthday and her parents kept her down a year. No additional needs. She while some children were still 7 at the end of the summer term (turning 8 over the summer) her child was already 9.

And then the mother is concerned that some children in the class are “immature” FFS

Concentrate on your child not someone else’s. You won’t do your child any favours carrying this resentment and you’ve got a long time at school to go.

My DD was the youngest in her year but excelled in certain things while other children excelled in other things. They’re all different.

Lucy may be very resentful of her parents in her teen years and either demand to be in her year group or drop out before taking exams . Seen it before

Nonsense. Your daughter is expected to work and perform to the best of her abilities, no more and no less. It’s going to be a long old life if you constantly compare her to her peers