August babies shouldn't be allowed to move down a year

[SapphosRock]

My DD has a late August birthday, she is 6 nearly 7 and about to go into Year 3.

A friend in her class (let's call her Lucy) has an early August birthday but was allowed to move down a year. She is already 8.

No special needs, her mum just decided she would prefer her DD to be the oldest in the class rather than one of the youngest.

This has impacted my DD in a few ways. She is good at sports but being the youngest means she doesn't often win. On Sports Day Lucy came first in the year 2 running race. My DD came 4th so missed out on a medal.

Lucy had a sleepover for her 8th birthday and invited the girls in DD's class. Most went but I didn't think DD was ready for a sleepover as she's still only 6 so she missed out on a fun party.

Lucy got the biggest speaking part in the Christmas play as she is the most confident and articulate.

AIBU and precious to think Lucy should have been kept in the correct year group?

Errr just because you don't like how it impacts your child doesn't mean it should be taken away from others. You could have made the same decision.

You're being a bit precious.

Even if this girl wasn't in the class it wouldn't mean your daughter would suddenly be star child

How is this different to your DD having a friend with an early September birthday?

This is all just shit that happens when you have a DC who is the youngest in the year. Lucy's mum sounds sensible to avoid that.

Fair! I like this saying.

Scotland has had the ability to defer children for ever - well at least since i was at schools in the 70s.

It's very very normal to have a spread of children over 14 months in a class. School intake runs 1 March - 28 Feb, many children born Jan/Fen are deferred, some aren't. So you could have someone turning 8 at the end of January when there are children who are still 6 and won't be 7 for a few weeks.

This is so normal it's not even worth commenting about for Scottish parents. It's just a accepted, standard part of school life. Some of the oldest children are the articulate and confident ones, some aren't.

You argument also makes zero sense as if your child is born say 25th August, you are still going to have children in her class born the first week of September who are already almost a whole year older than her. Why does another 2/3/4 weeks make such a huge difference?

OP, you're focussing on the wrong thing - namely someone else's child.

FWIW, I was born on 31st August, so was the youngest in my year - or almost, as there were a couple of girls younger than I was as it was an independent school so a bit less rigid about birth dates. There were at least three girls who were more than a year older than I was.

It didn't stop me being top in most subjects and getting a First and a DPhil later on.

I would assume that "Lucy"'s parents are worried about her being a bit behind/immature if she's in her actual year group, so have put her down a year for that reason.

FWIW, my DC are all July/August born and I just didn't send them to school for Reception, as I didn't see the point of school for four-year-olds and was happy for them to learn at home. They started school in their correct year groups in Year One.

But children more on 1st September are nearly one full year older than those born in August. 12 months, 13 months doesn’t make that much different. This child may have needed an extra year at home as she wasn’t ready for school at only just turned 4. Perhaps yours was….but it’s not a competition, stop making it one.

Oh and I was the youngest in my year. One of my best friends was a whole 364 days older than me. It's just the way it goes.

Sounds like Lucy's parents made the right decisions for their child and you are rather jealous and immature about it.

The English system is mad starting just turned 4 year olds at school. It's too young.

In Scotland we don't have reception and all children have the option of 2 years of pre-school nursery education before P1. (4.5
to 5.5)

4 year olds are still doing their second year of nursery and the very earliest kids start school is 4.5 and the youngest can all defer a year if they want.

My child was due late August/ early Sept. I intended to keep them back a year if they arrived in August. Luckily for me they stayed in until Sept so I didn't have to fight that battle.

I dont think lucy is the problem but i do think grouping children in years and expecting children to be at the same standard when they are much younger is odd for the first few years of school.

I would have done this too if it was available when my August born was starting school but they started this after he'd started primary.

Technically it's not just August borns who can. do this. It's June and July borns too.

Somebody has to be the youngest. Is the system any fairer when it's 1 September cut off and there's 12 months between youngest and oldest?

Sport clubs out of school are based on age. So your dd would play for the Under 8s while her friend would play for the Under 9s. This is fair for competitive sports (which Sports Day isn't)

Is your dd summer born? Do you wish you'd made the same decision for your dd?

@ClocksGoingBackwards - at the expense of other children? Because her daughter didn't win a medal at a race? Give your head a wobble.
I was 4 at P1 and came either first or second at most things throughout Primary school, maybe the OP's kid just wasn't fast enough on the day. What about the kids that came second and third in the race, how old were they?
Honestly this thread is mental. How about teaching the kid that her very best effort at things is good enough, no matter the opponent and stop trying to blame the reason for not coming first on the achievements of other people. "Oh she would have won but Lucy is a year older you know"

Lucy's parents made a choice they thought was best. Whatever is going on with your dd not winning races or being ready for sleepovers is irrelevant. What is she supposed to do about that?

Oh, and they also paid a year extra of nursery, presumably, so they made sacrifices for that choice!

Excellent post! Keeping summer borns back benefits the middle classes. It is unfair and a bit precious.

I have a late summer birthday, I was pretty much top of the class for my whole education. I got picked for certain tasks and projects because I was articulate for a child. My niece's birthday is right at the end of August (year 2), she's tiny compared to her classmates, she's also confident, goes on sleepovers and is the star of the mixed football team.
How is Lucy any different to a child born the first part of September?

Stop being the bloody thread police, 'think before you speak' FFS.

Op didn't say it to Lucy's mam or the teacher she has come on an Internet forum which is anonymous to see what others think.

As to your point of course I'd do the same as you, but now we have prem babies being born at the end of April that can't defer so all it has done is just move who is the youngest.

You do make yourself sound crazy worrying about your 6 year old daughter getting a medal in a running race - especially since she came 4th, and seems to be doing very well for herself!

However I agree that the cutoff should be observed, so there shouldn't be more than a year age difference between children in the same class. DS is going into Y3 with several children who have already turned 8, and others who are still 6. The differences are very noticeable, although interestingly the younger ones fit in better socially and have stronger friendship groups. The older ones seem a little out of place somehow (of course that may be why their parents kept them back).

YABVU to expect people to make their choices about their child based on what other people’s kids may or may not experience. It’s scarily self centred

Oh and another thing, we're in Scotland and DS is a Valentine's Day baby so he was 5 and a half when he went to school, he wasn't first at the races or the best speaking part in the play and his best friend was a wee girl who was born the day before him, in the same class, and neither did she win or get the big parts.

Your post is embarrassing to be honest

Totally understand if the summer baby was premature or isn't ready for school but I think in these cases it should be justified with a doctors note or something.

It just seems unfair that the option is there for parents who simply want their child to be the oldest, and by default the best at everything.

But it appears most posters disagree so I accept I am U!

It's well known and well publicised that being summer born in the 'correct' year disadvantages a child all the way up to university - there have been countless news articles about it over the years. Parents can choose when their child is ready to start school, whether that's as one of the youngest or oldest in their year.

I chose to defer DS, because looking at the statistics it was an obvious decision. You chose not to defer, it was up to you and nothing to do with Lucy's parents.

Yeah that’s not now education works - schools don’t benchmark for other kids using the oldest child in the class

I bet you’re one of those parents that teachers piss themselves laughing about in the staff room

They don’t want them to be the best. They just don’t want them to struggle in a class with children who are, in many cases, a year older than them.

Also YOU have the option and chose not to take it

It's anyone born April 1st onwards actually,

"Children born from 1 April to 31 August - summer born children - do not need to start school until the September after their 5th birthday, a full year after they could first have started school.
Where a parent delays their child’s start until the September after their 5th birthday, they may request their child is admitted out of their normal age group in order to start in reception rather than in year 1."

I think a decision should be made on a case by case basis. All I know is my boy, just about to go into year 6, is August born. His latest report shows that he is exceeding expectations in most subjects. He has never had any problems making friends and is confident and popular. The only difference I see between him and his friends is he's a bit shorter, but then I'm short so it's not necessarily his age.