August babies shouldn't be allowed to move down a year

[SapphosRock]

My DD has a late August birthday, she is 6 nearly 7 and about to go into Year 3.

A friend in her class (let's call her Lucy) has an early August birthday but was allowed to move down a year. She is already 8.

No special needs, her mum just decided she would prefer her DD to be the oldest in the class rather than one of the youngest.

This has impacted my DD in a few ways. She is good at sports but being the youngest means she doesn't often win. On Sports Day Lucy came first in the year 2 running race. My DD came 4th so missed out on a medal.

Lucy had a sleepover for her 8th birthday and invited the girls in DD's class. Most went but I didn't think DD was ready for a sleepover as she's still only 6 so she missed out on a fun party.

Lucy got the biggest speaking part in the Christmas play as she is the most confident and articulate.

AIBU and precious to think Lucy should have been kept in the correct year group?

I actually agree. Someone has to be the youngest, now the youngest have an ever greater difference between the eldest and youngest in the class.

Football makes children play in their age range, this means they won't be with their friends.

Rugby let's them play in their chosen school year, so again disadvantages the younger children (because someone has to be the youngest)

It's not just August children but summer born.

I do wonder how it will work at senior school.

The pp annoy me because someone has to be the youngest, if all summer born children are kept back then it will be the spring children that are the youngest and that starting doing badly at GCSE.

Ps I'm an August birth and so pleased I wasn't kept back

But someone born in September will be 12 months older than her and in the 'correct' year group. One month isn't going to make much difference really is it.

Children in the U.K. don’t legally have to start school until they are 5
OP you sound very jealous!

But someone born in September will be 12 months older than her and in the 'correct' year group. One month isn't going to make much difference really is it.

I would have zero issues if Lucy was born in September as someone has to be the oldest and someone the youngest.

OP I also have a late August birthday daughter going into year 3. I wrestled with the idea of sending her a year late but ultimately decided to go ahead with starting her at 4 because the school wasn't keen on my deferring her, she was already reading and writing so I wasn't too concerned about the academic side of things, and continuing to pay for childcare would have been a struggle.

She really struggled socially in reception, in ways I hadn't factored in. She's now settled and fits in well with the class but it was hard at first and the guilt really killed me.

Fwiw I do understand your point. Its always been the case that August born kids were youngest. They could be a max of 11months younger than some of their peers. Now that people are deferring, and can defer for any summer term birthday (from April) it means that the max age difference has increased to 15-16 months. There will always be August born kids whose parents cannot make the decision for financial reasons or are not aware of the options available to them - these kids are more likely to be disadvantaged anyway so the disadvantage is then increased. I still think people should be allowed to do it and do the best thing for their individual child bit given that deferral is more common in educated, middle class families, it is only widening the gap. There is a may born child in the other class, same year level as my child. No SEN but was allowed to defer as parents didn't think she was ready. She is about 20cm taller than my child and absolutely cleaned up on sports day 😂

Some people will put their August born babies down a year unnecessarily to gain exactly the advantages you are talking about.

However, many more will defer their DC because they really need it.

How do you suggest the line in drawn? Don't let anybody defer just to thwart the Lucys?

I have a late August born DS. We didn't defer him and he did struggle academically in KS1. Had he been in a state school, I don't think he would ever have been to an afternoon lesson as he'd have been in intervention every day and more than likely on the SEND register. But as it was his prep just waited for him and now about to go into Y8 there is no academic problem at all.

It would be less of a problem if schools actually took summer birthdays into account in their expectations of children. However, they can't really because they have the same benchmarks they have to get all the children to at the same time and inevitably the youngest get labelled as 'behind' when they might not be really.

I think it should be allowed for August babies only. And even then there should be a valid reason.

The fact that this is sometimes allowed for June babies is utterly ridiculous. In most cases I agree with you that it’s just parents trying to cheat their child’s way to the top of the class.

But Lucy isn't much older than kids who were born early September so this scenario could easily have happened with them anyway. Plus even if you take age out of it there are kids who are going to be particularly sporty or articulate or whatever.

Wish this had been possible when I was at school. I'm an August baby (birthday today😊) and struggled at school every single day with keeping up with the older kids. You're definitely jealous.

I held my twins back a year. They are not top of their class in anything, do not get better speaking parts in plays! They have few friends as are shy and do not have sleepovers because half their childhood has been in a pandemic.
I wouldn't have been able to predict any of that, I just knew they were ready to start school and held them back. You feel your daughter is being disadvantaged, she is not. She cannot be first and best at everything. My feeling is you're projecting feelings on to her rather than just letting her get on with being at school.

Sorry if I'm missing the point but won't other children in the right year group be quite a bit older than your DD as they were born In September?

I don't think anyone expects their child to be "better" than any other child.

Lucy's parents made a decision which seems to benefit her, I don't know how she'll feel when she's older but I couldn't get too worked up about it.

That makes no sense though, you're happy for someone to be 12 months older but not 13?

YABVVVVU.
If Lucy’s parents did it then the option was open to you (if you’re in England it’s a theoretical option everywhere though varies based on local authority as to how easy it is).

I started my Late August born at compulsory school age (so aged 5, not 4) in the same way Lucy’s parents did. Absolutely the right call for her - she’s still one of the shyest in the class - she’d have been eaten alive in the year above.

the cut off isn’t August to do this - it’s any ‘summer born’ child - that’s counted as April onwards. Personally I wouldn’t have done it for an April born unless they had something like a speech delay or other developmental concern. It helps children to start school when they’re ready rather than being pushed into schooling too early.

I think the OP has a fair point. If summer borns are allowed to defer, the age range in a class can be 15 months, which is significant when they are 4 or 5. And it’s almost always the pushy middle classes who want to defer; that’s not necessarily a criticism as I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same in that situation.

It would be much better to move the cutoff to 1st Feb or something, so all hildren would be at least 4 yrs 6 months when they start.

Blowing out someone else's candle won't make yours shine brighter

Anyone can keep their summer term born child back a year. You made your choice, she made hers.

So did Lucy’s parents - that’s why they moved her to be with children closer to her age.

Yes, but at the expense of other children.

It could equally have been a classmate with a September birthday that was doing these things. Or indeed a much younger child - in DD’s class, the tallest boy who was therefore at an advantage in some sport was the youngest in the class.

Lucy may well have been developmentally not ready for school at just turned 4 so the decision was right for her but then has developed quickly. It makes sense for all parents to make the decision that’s right for their child, within the legal framework. For some that will be delayed start and for some it won’t.

So YABU.

What a brilliant saying!

I doubt British parents could afford childcare up until age 7 with the cost of it in the UK.

I trust that the experts who designed the system have reviewed all the evidence available

There’s also the fact that this disadvantages summer born children who would benefit from being deferred but their parents can’t afford an extra year of childcare.

Wow, you've made yourself look wonderful here..... not.

The cut off is May. You could have kept your daughter back.

My daughter was born in the last days of August. She wasn't due until end of October. You can bet your arse I'm holding her back and I won't give two shiny shits about whether that affects someone else's child's experience of a birthday party.......

Weird post. Think before you speak!