"Darling, don't be smug"

[comeonangel]

Visiting at a friend's house (not local) our 2 DDs, both age 3 playing - hers is slightly younger than mine.

Her DD and mine are doing a puzzle together and mine can't do it as quickly as hers can.

Her DD says something to my DD along the lines of "I can't believe you can't do this I've been doing it since I was two".

My friend replied "darling, don't be smug."

Was this a dig that my DD is developmentally behind or something? I ask genuinely as it's not a term that's used here where I live and I've just read another thread about 'smug' meaning superior.

AIBU to now be thinking her telling my DD off for being 'smug' was an implication that my DD was behind?

Sorry she told her DD off for being smug.

Smug means they feel superior but she told her DD not to be smug.

Non issue to me

No, she was just telling her child not to brag, it’s not nice or endearing.

No, I don't think it was. She was simply telling her child not to be mean to yours by attempting to seem superior.

She was telling her child off for trying to act superior. She sounds decent

It's difficult to know without hearing her tone, but from what you have written I would think she was a bit embarrassed about her DD bragging so told her not to. I wouldn't have taken it as a slight against your DD.

No I think she meant not to brag?

Im not sure where you got from that comment she was saying your daughter's development is delayed

Yes. Smug is never a compliment. She was criticising her child, not yours.

She used a slightly odd turn of phrase to tell her dd off for boasting. she could equally well have said ‘don’t show off’ or ‘it took you longer the first time you tried’.

Thank you! I had assumed just normal admonishment but as I said smug is not a term used here and I just read it on another thread and wondered if it meant more than I first thought.

I think smug is feeling that you're superior rather than someone actually being superior so she was telling her daughter off for being big headed and bragging not putting your dd down.

She was correcting her child’s behaviour. Children need to be corrected I. The moment particularly for this kind of thing. Putting others down because you can do something faster than them is horrible and she needs to learn not to do it.

if the child’s had the puzzle since she was two and they are now three of course she can do it.

You've overthought it, don't worry

Oh, gosh, I'm not worried and haven't overthought. It's only since reading another thread on here about how loaded a term 'smug' is that I thought about it at all.

for you for feeling that you need to reassure me, though.

Being smug is being unreasonably pleased with oneself for some perceived superiority. It’s a criticism of the person being smug, not a comment on the person on the receiving end of the smugness. Being smug is definitely not a positive quality.

No, she was teaching her child not to be boastful and put others down, because it is unlikeable.

Obviously the child who owns the puzzle and has done it many times before can do it quicker than the one who is doing it for the first time. She wasn't having a dig about that.

Darling, don’t be passive aggressive.

She’s was basically telling her dd to wind her neck in.

But you did over think it You misconstrued a very simple admonishment.

And now you’ve taken offence at Eine too. You seem to take offence very easily.

Now that is being smug.

So smug 😂

Hahahahaha gosh don’t worry so much 😂

I really don't understand how you could have gotten what she meant so wrong? Even when you found out what the very often used word 'smug' means you still didn't understand the sentence 'darling, don't be smug' and took it as a dig at your child? I'm struggling to believe that your post isn't disingenuous to be honest.

It's lovely that she corrected her daughter. I'm a bit more common and tell my kids, "Oi! No one likes a smart arse!"