To get a cat even though DH HATES them

[Luckyforyou]

DD (5) really wants a cat, she talks about one everyday, I am really open to the idea
and think it will be a good companion. DH hates them and will not budge. DD even asked if daddy could move out so we could get one.

The statistics:
The most recent figures of how many creatures are killed by cats are from the Mammal Society. They estimate that cats in the UK catch up to 100 million prey items over spring and summer, of which 27 million are birds.

This is the number of prey items which were known to have been caught. We don't know how many more the cats caught, but didn't bring home, or how many escaped but subsequently died.

The most frequently caught birds, according to the Mammal Society, are probably:

house sparrows
blue tits
blackbirds
starlings

I wish people wouldn't throw around the term "narcissist" like that, when clearly they have no understanding of what a narcissist actually is.

You can even be allergic to specific breeds of cat.

I like cats. We have a couple of them. But I would be very put out if my OH came home with a pet that I'd specifically said I didn't want in the house.

That's a double fuck-you, isn't it?

I hope you know that yes, you are being unreasonable. Get her a hamster or a dog.. or a tortoise

YABVU to marry a cat-hater, but I think you know thar.

No.

I'm allergic to some cats and completely fine with others - depends on the fur. Not allergic to dogs at all.

Quite. The term is taking on a vernacular usage - "selfish" - that's quite different to the psych usage.

See also the vernacularisation of 'paranoid' (overly-concerned) and 'bipolar' (temperamentally unpredictable) and 'BPD' ('refuses to accept I'm right'.)

I don't think it can be stopped though. It's just what language does.

What else does he hate? Maybe you should get lots of that too. Who cares about him? He's only your partner and father to your daughter. There's a CF of the highest order in your house. It's not him.

My DD was like your dd OP, desperate for a cat. DH was very much 'don't like cats, wouldn't ever hurt one, just don't want one'. Her friend at schools cat had kittens, DD wheedled round daddy...he gave in. We had dcat for 15 years. Guess who was in floods of tears the day dcat passed away..yep DH. Dcat won him over within a couple of weeks as a kitten.
Your DD will just have to work on her DF a little more. 😁

Why?

I dislike all animals and wouldn’t have one in my house. I agree hate is a strong word but people use hyperbolic language all the time.

it doesn’t make me a bad person because I don’t like them.

I love cats, and have had several, the last two living until ages 23 and 18. Now we have no pets, and it's lovely! My house is cleaner and I don't have to worry about stepping in cat sick in the dark. I have more money, I don't have to add cattery fees on to the cost of holidays. I can have a bird table without worrying about the cat bothering the birds. I'll never have another pet, and I'm not sorry.

Yabu, but so is he for saying he hates cats. And as usual, this thread is littered with people saying they hate cats. Woe betide anyone who says they hate dogs, people react as though they'd just announced they were cannibals or something, but it seems to be perfectly socially acceptable to say it about cats.

And, for the record, cat-haters, my 10 year old cat's lifetime kill record is zero. She almost caught a bird once, but was so astonished she let it go and it escaped. So no dead bits of animals round the house. She doesn't shit in the garden either.

OP I have a cat allergy but I’m not allergic to dogs.

Cat for a child? Very bad idea. Pets are for adults. YABU and it's not even about your husband hating them.

I'm a cat lover and often try to change people's mind to, in fact, not to take a cat. They don't deserve to be in a house where they are hated. My BIL hates cats, but his daughter wanted one and my husband talked him out of this idea. Cats are only good for families where you, well... accept that cats are cats, they have their own ways etc. They had family cat and BIL shouted at him all the time, cat didn't like him. It's cruel.

You're calling the research of a respected scientific organisation a joke? I think the joke must be your comment because no-one is really so stupid to use 'Well birds eat birds too' as a counter argument.

Whether he really does have an allergy or is just making that up, he hates cats. I wouldn’t bring a cat into a household where someone hates them because I wouldn’t trust the person not to hurt the poor thing. Remember the footballer Kurt Zouma kicking and slapping a cat? He was caught on camera, but I’m plenty of cat haters get away with abusing cats when nobody’s looking.

It's also pretty clear that you want a cat and are encouraging this behaviour in DD. She's 5. How incredibly awful for your DH that you're turning his own daughter against him and into a spoilt brat instead. I seriously hope someone disciplined her for such a nasty comment about DH but I assume that, seeing as you're using it to get your way, you didn't?

My thoughts exactly. She may be only five but she should have been told firmly and clearly that this was an very unkind thing to say about her Daddy. Somehow though I am imagining the OP receiving it with a complicit smile and a knowing eye roll.

Most cats are too well fed to manage to catch things

Perhaps they should cut down on the shrew icecream.

I hate cats because I am allergic to them, so this would be a deal breaker for me.

Especially that it's mummy and daddy who pay for cat, not 5 years old girl...

And, for the record, cat-haters, my 10 year old cat's lifetime kill record is zero. She almost caught a bird once, but was so astonished she let it go and it escaped. So no dead bits of animals round the house. She doesn't shit in the garden either.

that's* *because your cat shits in our garden, what a inconsiderate neighbour you are .

Cats always shit elsewhere normally where there are no cats ,
The neighbour's also cats kill the birds nesting and feeding in our garden

Wow I’m surprised how seriously the animal haters are taking this. I read it as light hearted.

(also agree with the poster who said people who “hate” animals are not to be trusted. How could you hate an animal? Weird)

I'm with your DD too.

Slightly different, but I've always been a cat lover and there has been a tacit understanding in our relationship that a cat or cats would move into our house at the 'right' point in time. With another baby on the way, we've decided now is not the right time, but if I ever kick DH out (a distinct possibility some days when he leaves his dirty sweaty running kit around 😡!), I will tell our DC that it was to make room for the cat(s) and no doubt they will agree with me that this was the right decision on my part. How can a mere parent compete with an adorable fluffy furball?

Some people seem to be bringing their children up with a complete sense of humour bypass.