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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get a cat even though DH HATES them

154 replies

Luckyforyou · 16/08/2022 22:18

DD (5) really wants a cat, she talks about one everyday, I am really open to the idea
and think it will be a good companion. DH hates them and will not budge. DD even asked if daddy could move out so we could get one.

OP posts:
Original poster
Luckyforyou · 16/08/2022 22:32

Obviously DH comes first, just a bit gutted

OP posts:
kimchifox · 16/08/2022 22:32

Tell her to start asking for a pony on a daily basis. One day she might get a cat. Or not, if he seriously has an allergy!

PollyRockets · 16/08/2022 22:33

Luckyforyou · 16/08/2022 22:27

He says he is allergic but we have a dog, wouldn’t he be allergic to that too?

You do know that cats and dogs are different animals right?

Of course you can be allergic to one and not the other

Original poster
Luckyforyou · 16/08/2022 22:34

He doesn’t have allergies, but I know I can’t get something he really doesn’t want

OP posts:
Original poster
Luckyforyou · 16/08/2022 22:35

I thought It was all the same dander? Could get a hairless one 😂😂

OP posts:
Mother87 · 16/08/2022 22:35

My DH is absolutely NOT keen on cats - so we compromised and have fourBlush (he's become begrudgingly fond of all of them)

Cindie943811A · 16/08/2022 22:36

I adore cats. Personally I’d rehome your DH and get a cat.
I feel your DH is being quite selfish as I suspect you will be the one to tend to the cat.

Original poster
Luckyforyou · 16/08/2022 22:36

I honestly think my DH would be the same. He hated dogs too.

OP posts:
Original poster
Luckyforyou · 16/08/2022 22:36

No I won’t get one without his permission

OP posts:
Thatiswild · 16/08/2022 22:37

I am very allergic to cats and being in contact with them makes me ill for a couple of days afterwards but I’m allergic to only some breeds of dog, it doesn’t work like that with animals as it depends what it is causing the allergy - saliva, hair, whatever.

Even if it was simply a preference you are being totally unreasonable.

Original poster
Luckyforyou · 16/08/2022 22:39

I think cats and dogs are such a positive thing for kids, but I am an animal lover

OP posts:
RoseDog · 16/08/2022 22:40

Dp doesn't like cats p, said we weren't getting a cat so we got 3!

He went to play golf one day and came home to a cat on the sofa, he didn't even ask!

I also said no dogs so there is currently a Staffy in between us in the bed 😂

ErrolTheDragon · 16/08/2022 22:40

DD even asked if daddy could move out so we could get one.

I'd definitely not be getting that child a cat - that's not cute, you know. ( assuming the DH isn't an abusive twat you'd be well rid of regardless of the cat question of course)

KatherineJaneway · 16/08/2022 22:40

YABU

Do not bring a pet into an environment where one member of the family hates them. Exceptionally unfair on the cat.

ThinWomansBrain · 16/08/2022 22:41

If you like cats, why would you even think of getting one that won't be welocme in your home? It would be really mean to the cat.

TheUsualChaos · 16/08/2022 22:41

Environmentally, we should all be limiting the number of pets we keep tbh. Cats in particular are a nightmare to wildlife. I like cats but won't have one for this reason as we try to encourage wildlife here. I don't agree with house cats. Plus the heart break if it got runover or went missing.

bbqhulahoop · 16/08/2022 22:42

Schooldil3ma · 16/08/2022 22:26

I hate cats. If DH brought a cat home he and the cat would be out.
How dare you think your more important than another adult and get the final say? I hope you're a troll, if not you're a narcissist.

Same!

DixonD · 16/08/2022 22:42

Schooldil3ma · 16/08/2022 22:26

I hate cats. If DH brought a cat home he and the cat would be out.
How dare you think your more important than another adult and get the final say? I hope you're a troll, if not you're a narcissist.

That’s a tad dramatic.

Cats are hardly ever around anyway OP. He won’t even notice!

Just do what my mum did when we were kids. She used the hide the cats he didn’t know we had when he came home after work. All five of them!

zurala · 16/08/2022 22:43

Yabu for being with a man who doesn't like cats.

ShrillSiren22 · 16/08/2022 22:45

I thought you weren’t supposed to bring cats into a home that already had a dog? When I was looking into rescuing a cat they all said you could introduce a dog to a home if a cat is already in place but kit the other way round.

Jellybean23 · 16/08/2022 22:46

Your husband can't MAKE himself like cats. If you hated snakes, how would you feel if he kept on about having a python?

ThreeRingCircus · 16/08/2022 22:46

So he doesn't like dogs, but you got a dog anyway. Now you're (seriously?!) asking whether you should just ignore what he's telling you and bring an animal into his home that he doesn't want?

You've already got a pet, so the argument that it would be good for your DD don't really stand.

How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot and there was something you hated that he just brought into your home anyway? And used your daughter as part of the argument to get what he wants? Because that's what you're doing.

Triotriotrio · 16/08/2022 22:47

Luckyforyou · 16/08/2022 22:27

He says he is allergic but we have a dog, wouldn’t he be allergic to that too?

I am very very allergic to cats. Dogs I am slightly allergic to. I can cope with them using antihistamines. Cats I survive about 30 mins.

You would be VERY unread to get one.

Namenic · 16/08/2022 22:54

Yabu. I think pets are a significant commitment - looking after their health, finding people to look after them when you go away. Also - you share a house, so it’s not really fair on him. I’m pretty sure you can react to cat hair but not dog hair.

Hottt · 16/08/2022 22:55

Luckyforyou · 16/08/2022 22:27

He says he is allergic but we have a dog, wouldn’t he be allergic to that too?

My mum is very allergic to cats and so is my sister. My mum can't even stay the night in a house where there are cats, her throat swells and she gets hives etc. My sister is less allergic and can get by taking antihistamines to stay the night where a cat is but definitely couldn't live with one. She got bitten by a cat as a child and was hospitalised for two weeks. Both of them have dogs and have no issues at all. So, no, you can very much be allergic to cats and not to dogs. Your assumption is as dumb as assuming you can't be allergic to nuts if you're not allergic to fruit - they're different things.

It's also pretty clear that you want a cat and are encouraging this behaviour in DD. She's 5. How incredibly awful for your DH that you're turning his own daughter against him and into a spoilt brat instead. I seriously hope someone disciplined her for such a nasty comment about DH but I assume that, seeing as you're using it to get your way, you didn't?

Obviously YABU.