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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why all of the Queen's adult grandchildren have chosen to have kids?

308 replies

itsbeen4minutes · 16/08/2022 18:47

Out of the Queen's 6 adult grandchildren, all of them have had children. AIBU to ask whether this is normal in terms of pretty every member of a family having chosen to have kids?

I have chosen to not have children so feel like if I was a member of the royal family I would be judged quite a bit on my choice to remain childfree.

OP posts:
Antarcticant · 17/08/2022 07:13

SleepingStandingUp · 17/08/2022 00:23

She is an adult but she's unmarried and barely out of school so a bit early on the "Lady Louise has decided for not have children"

Show quote history

The ONS doesn't count women as childfree until they have reached the end of their childbearing years, so the 1 in 5 statistic wouldn't apply to a 19 year old. Unless Louise is known to have stated an intention not to have children, I think she is too young (by the standards of 2022) to be considered in this question.

Whataretheodds · 17/08/2022 07:25

Georgeskitchen · 16/08/2022 19:11

The Queens adult grandchildren (apart from William) are not paid for from the civil list. They support themselves. They don't have bodyguards unless they are carrying out royal duties. They probably had children because they wanted them, like the rest of us

'they support themselves' with a bit of help from significant inherited wealth.

mydogisthebest · 17/08/2022 09:20

Quite a few of my family and friends have chosen not to have children.

I have 2 siblings who both have 2 children each but me and DH chose not to have any. He has one sibling who has chosen not to have any.

My brother in law has 4 siblings and none of them have children. Other brother in law has 6 siblings and 1 of them has no children.

Out of 6 cousins, 2 do not have children. Also out of 4 nieces, 2 do not have children.

summerin69 · 17/08/2022 17:44

Their choice - no one else's - that's why.

Suewoo · 17/08/2022 17:46

You make it sound as though it's a great thing to decide not to have children. If you have a loving, loyal partner and can afford to have them without calling on the state to bail you out, why wouldn't you have them? It's the most natural thing on earth

NattyNatashia · 17/08/2022 17:53

Perhaps it's not unreasonable but it's certainly an odd question to ask of anyone. It's far more common than not for people to want a family, and as others have said this rather privileged group don't have the worries or barriers that many of us might have e.g. needing get a house first, building a career, cost of raising a family etc. Nothing wrong with anyones choice not to of course.

sunsoutmumsout · 17/08/2022 17:57

Suewoo · 17/08/2022 17:46

You make it sound as though it's a great thing to decide not to have children. If you have a loving, loyal partner and can afford to have them without calling on the state to bail you out, why wouldn't you have them? It's the most natural thing on earth

Agree with this

But we'll get awfully flamed for it

Longleggedgiraffe · 17/08/2022 17:58

YABU. Why shouldn’t they?

IWishIHadNotDoneIt · 17/08/2022 18:00

Not unusual in my family. Out of my grandmother's 9 grandchildren all but 2 have children. One just hasn't met the right partner and the other has health issues which prevent parenthood.

SHONNYSMUMMY · 17/08/2022 18:05

It's not uncommon at all, all my cousins have children and all by choice. I don't think they're made to have children as not everyone will get the throne anyway. I think they chose to have children.

PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 17/08/2022 18:07

SleepingStandingUp · 17/08/2022 00:35

Yes statistically you'd think someone in there is gay - there's certainly been rumours and Louise and James are still young so who knows.

I'm not really sure how much they could hide a child's SEN or disability though

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Depends on the nature of the SEN or disability I suppose. We wouldn't necessarily hear anything about someone's dyslexia or ADHD, especially if the person were of an age where things like that genuinely weren't identified as much, whereas a wheelchair would be obvious.

FlamingoUmbrella · 17/08/2022 18:09

In my place of work it is unusual for women to have children. The vast majority of us don’t. 🤷🏻‍♀️

No idea why Royal people fancy it more than we
do!

Tuskanini · 17/08/2022 18:11

They can afford to.

They live in a social circle very aware of continuity, dynasty and inheritance.

Barney60 · 17/08/2022 18:15

I know a few ladies who CHOSE not to have children, its not as uncommon as perhaps you think.

Dajeeling · 17/08/2022 18:25

Sorry I’ve not read the whole thread but I can see it’s been mentioned- surely someone must be gay at some point? That must be terrifying for them if so, even today. It’s always spoken about and assumed they must be straight.

Again, SEN… my 3 all have ASC. I wonder if you would publicly say this… it would be incredibly intrusive for the children to tell the world but then you would get constant scrutiny about why they aren’t seen on the balcony, why they aren’t forced into watching long drawn out performances etc… my younger two would not sit or stand for either of these two things.

I think from a young age it will be mentioned about them getting married/having kids… it will almost be ingrained into them that this is what they do.

Dajeeling · 17/08/2022 18:25

Spoken that they will be automatically straight I mean.

Solonge · 17/08/2022 18:26

I think it’s great you have chosen not to have children. The world is over populated and burgeoning mouths to feed is beginning to cause many problems. Of my three kids…one chose to not have kids. I think if I were 25 today instead of 60 odd….I would choose not to. I am friends with four couples who have not had kids….all over 50….all quite content.

gatehouseoffleet · 17/08/2022 18:27

Lunde · 16/08/2022 19:05

Technically Lady Louise Windsor is a childfree adult grandchild

Well just about but I don't think any of us would be advocating for an 18 year old to have kids yet :)

My DH is one of 4, his sister doesn't have kids but he and his two brothers have 6 kids between them, two of whom currently have one daughter each.

I have a friend my age who doesn't have kids although she has a partner who does so she's got two stepdaughters but they never lived with her as they were grown up when she met her partner.

I wouldn't say either SIL or my friend have actively chosen not to have children, but I don't think either of them "couldn't", they just weren't in the right relationships at the right time of their lives. Interestingly my friend's two siblings are childfree as well, although both are or have been married so her parents have no grandchildren.

I was just looking at my Facebook friends list and quite a few don't have kids, though some are in their 30s so there is still time.

WibblyWobblyLane · 17/08/2022 18:29

I think it will totally depend on the norms of the family and social circle, hence why it seems to be in pockets. I have 1 dd but I don't want any more. I have 5 siblings who are all childfree by choice. Most if my friends are also childfree and we are now mid-30s.

Silverswirl · 17/08/2022 18:33

I am in my 40’s and I literally don’t know a single woman personally who has chosen not to have children (and is past 35)!
I have a huge family with loads of cousins, aunts, great aunts, second cousins and 3 siblings. All of them have children.

Kazibar · 17/08/2022 18:38

I’d say of my friends - academically bright geeks living in Cambridge - about 40% are child free mostly I think by choice.

I think in the British upper class, it’s expected, at least to have an heir and a spare. Not so much with plebs.

Sandra1984 · 17/08/2022 18:42

I haven’t had children because of financial, professional and geographical issues (my job has moved me a lot). Had I been born with a silver spoon in my mouth and stayed in the same very privileged place I would have very possibly had children.

AclowncalledAlice · 17/08/2022 18:43

Three of DD's 4 cousins have children the other (a female cousin who is 29), has chosen not to and my DD who is in her 30's has also chosen to be childfree, so it's almost a 50/50 split here. Having children is neither the "norm" or "odd" in my family, it's just something some want and others don't.

mam0918 · 17/08/2022 18:43

eh... its really not unusually for people to have children, almost all my friends + all their siblings have had children, it kind of the normal thing to expect.

I actually find it more bizaare that my husband know about half a dozen die hard child free by choice people (the only ones I know) who ALL took on lives looking after other peoples children (teachers, childminders, step parents etc...).

Banana7 · 17/08/2022 18:47

I know quite a few people who have chosen to remain child free for various reasons. We're 6 siblings (ranging from 31 to 44 years old) and I'm the only one with children. Out of my 5 siblings, I'd say 3 would have children but are not actively trying and 2 are actually rather against it. We've had first hand and generational child abuse so it might be that. Not sure as I wanted children myself. It might be that all the members of the Royal family are so well off they can afford a few, as those children are likely to find their way in the world with a golden support network.