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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why all of the Queen's adult grandchildren have chosen to have kids?

308 replies

itsbeen4minutes · 16/08/2022 18:47

Out of the Queen's 6 adult grandchildren, all of them have had children. AIBU to ask whether this is normal in terms of pretty every member of a family having chosen to have kids?

I have chosen to not have children so feel like if I was a member of the royal family I would be judged quite a bit on my choice to remain childfree.

OP posts:
BooksAndHooks · 16/08/2022 18:49

I would say it is more common than not. Aside from people who want children but have been unable to have them I don’t think I have come across anyone who has chosen to not have children in our wider family or friends.

Haus1234 · 16/08/2022 18:50

Perhaps infinite money and no real opportunity to have a normal career / life would have convinced you otherwise …

Buttons294749 · 16/08/2022 18:50
  1. Because they dont have money worries
  2. It's easier to find a good husband/wife who probably wont run off.
  3. They can affird the necessary fertilitytreatment if required
JubileeTissues · 16/08/2022 18:51

I don't think this is exclusive to the royal family!

I have many many more cousins than that and only one has no children (and that's not through choice)

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 16/08/2022 18:53

About 18% of women in the UK choose not to have children. I suspect that occurs in social and geographically pockets rather than evenly spread across the population.

Sirzy · 16/08/2022 18:54

Maybe they have chosen to have children. Each to their own and all that!

Classicblunder · 16/08/2022 18:54

JubileeTissues · 16/08/2022 18:51

I don't think this is exclusive to the royal family!

I have many many more cousins than that and only one has no children (and that's not through choice)

Ditto - I have maybe 30 cousins/second cousins over 30 and only one is childfree

LubaLuca · 16/08/2022 18:56

JubileeTissues · 16/08/2022 18:51

I don't think this is exclusive to the royal family!

I have many many more cousins than that and only one has no children (and that's not through choice)

Exactly the same here. I'd never thought about it before, but only one of my many cousins has no children and that wasn't by choice either.

mountainsunsets · 16/08/2022 18:56

The vast, vast majority of people choose to have children.

Antarcticant · 16/08/2022 18:57

The number of women who are childless/childfree by the end of their childbearing years is 20% - so by that statistic in a group of 6 drawn randomly from the general population you would expect one of them to be child-free (I myself am one of the 1 in 5s).

But consider why some women don't have children - financial/childcare issues - not a worry for the Royals. Unable to find the right partner in time - again, unlikely the Royals would be short of partners to choose from. Fertility issues - the Royals will have had top medical care, obviously that can't guarantee fertility but it must improve the chances - no undiagnosed endometriosis, for example, and being bunged on a 2 year waiting list to see a consultant.

Add to that a very strong family expectation and you can see why they are above the average stats.

abovedecknotbelow · 16/08/2022 18:58

My best friend doesn't have children through choice, I have two lesbian cousins, both have children and all my other cousins (46 of them...) have at least 3. In the odd one out for only having 2. IME people replicate their own family so if they had 2 siblings they've gone on to have 3 of their own.

Royalty doesn't come into it!

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 16/08/2022 19:01

AIBU to ask whether this is normal in terms of pretty every member of a family having chosen to have kids?

Depends what you mean by normal. Do you mean "is this rare enough to be noteworthy" then...nope, not really. It's neither usual or unusual.

Kanaloa · 16/08/2022 19:01

Most people choose to have kids. And if you had endless money and no real job you’d hardly have any stresses. I don’t think they’re totting up maternity pay and wondering if they can afford wraparound care AND baby’s nursery.

RampantIvy · 16/08/2022 19:02

BooksAndHooks · 16/08/2022 18:49

I would say it is more common than not. Aside from people who want children but have been unable to have them I don’t think I have come across anyone who has chosen to not have children in our wider family or friends.

I know quite a few people who don't have children - either through choice or because they couldn't and weren't bothered.

I didn't have DD until I was 41 due to infertility issues, but I wasn't bothered if I had children or not.

LoobyDop · 16/08/2022 19:02

Most of the reasons we choose not to have them are much less of an issue for them. Loss of income, career, independence, etc- none of them apply. If they aren’t that interested they don’t even have to look after them, they just leave them with the army of staff. I’d probably have had them under those circumstances!

PassiveAgressiveQueen · 16/08/2022 19:04

1, they need someone to inherit their money
2, they never actually need to see their kids so going child free doesn't make a difference

wordler · 16/08/2022 19:04

Also at least the first 1-2 in the line to the Crown will have grown up with an expectation that it's required as part of the deal - providing the next heirs.

I was surprised that Zara had three after the trauma of the miscarriages she went through but I think Mike really wanted a boy - I wonder if they did some kind of sex selection for the third one.

Lunde · 16/08/2022 19:05

Technically Lady Louise Windsor is a childfree adult grandchild

downfield · 16/08/2022 19:06

shit ton of money

Tigofigo · 16/08/2022 19:06

Buttons294749 · 16/08/2022 18:50

  1. Because they dont have money worries
  2. It's easier to find a good husband/wife who probably wont run off.
  3. They can affird the necessary fertilitytreatment if required

This, plus often no major career interruptions by having children. They either don't work or can get nannies (or both).

They're also quite traditional of course. Not having children through choice is quite a "modern" idea.

In my family all cousins over 30 have DC except one, she would have liked children but didn't find the right partner in childbearing years.

IcedPurple · 16/08/2022 19:07

mountainsunsets · 16/08/2022 18:56

The vast, vast majority of people choose to have children.

Given that one out of five women don't have children, I wouldn't agree with your definition of "the vast, vast majority."

MercurialMonday · 16/08/2022 19:08

ONS think it's risen to 18% of women in 2020 reaching 45 with no children - that and number having just one child have both % increased form previous generation it's still fairly low % most still have children.

I think the PP have it they are less financially constrained which makes it easier and at same time have more constraints on work and careers development making that less on a delay but they still they have access to potential partners early enough in life to start families.

Basically factors that affect rest of population - getting careers started and meeting someone saving to buy house and be in stable situation to plan children - affect them much less.

downfield · 16/08/2022 19:09

most families now have less than 2 dc which isn't reflected by the royals either

drpet49 · 16/08/2022 19:09

I don’t know anyone who has actively chosen not to have children.

abovedecknotbelow · 16/08/2022 19:10

wordler · 16/08/2022 19:04

Also at least the first 1-2 in the line to the Crown will have grown up with an expectation that it's required as part of the deal - providing the next heirs.

I was surprised that Zara had three after the trauma of the miscarriages she went through but I think Mike really wanted a boy - I wonder if they did some kind of sex selection for the third one.

That's a bit of a leap.

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