To expect DD15 to feed herself?

[SteveHarringtonsChestHair]

Went on a lunch date today. DCs are all older teens. DD (15) is outraged that I didn’t sort out something for her to eat when I got home at 2.30pm

I told her there is bread for toast, wraps, crumpets, leftover chicken in the fridge, noodles/pasta etc and that she can make herself something. She thinks it is selfish of me to feed myself and not her.

WIBU?

YABU she needs lunch and you are mean not to provide her with this before you left or after you came home

YANBU she is 15 with no additional needs, perfectly capable of fending for herself and needs to grow the F up.

I thank you.

Well, you can tell her that in this house DD12 has been informed that her breakfast and lunch are her sole responsibility. If she requires help or advice with something she genuinely doesn’t know how to do, or wants to try something new, she can ask, but solving her hunger is her problem on the regular. There is a list of ideas posted on the pinboard, and we almost always have almost everything in for them. She always has the same damn lunch anyway and she can absolutely make a cheese sandwich, crisps and chocolate bar herself! If she ever had anything different, I would totally offer her some of what I was making for myself, and expect that to be reciprocated (but she doesn’t) and if I was going out, I would absolutely say ‘there’s cheese in the fridge when you’re ready for lunch’ to pretend show I care (because she already knows that anyway. And also, list).

YANBU.

Please, say thank you to your daughter for me. This is honestly the best laugh I've had in days! Hilarious! Did she stamp her foot while telling you it was so unfair? A female Kevin. Wow.

Unbelievable...truly. I find it hard to comprehend that mothers and fathers don't, over the years, teach their children how to do laundry, cook simple dishes, tidy up after meals, manage money etc.
Mine were working full time by 16 and by then, each of them knew how to do all those things in fact, my sons were very proud of their cooking and laundry skills and when they married, did and do not let their wives do their laundry as they are better at doing it.
You need to send your children out into the world with the tools to live their lives well and productively. To take the knocks and get back up and to help others along the way when they can.
Not to do so, is to fail as a parent imo.

And not once did any of them ever refuse to do anything? If not, it’s likely because they’re terrified of you.

My daughters are well taught, by both me and Ex MIL who teaches them recipes from her home country - that doesn’t mean that some days I don’t get a shit attitude from them.

YANBU but it’s not unusual for teenagers to be self centred like this.

@LoisLane66 just because they don't usually do it does not mean they can't do it. I am perfectly able to cook but at the moment I don't cook because fiancé enjoys cooking for us. would I be annoyed if he made dinner for just himself or ordered a takeaway with no regard for me probably.

in return I do his laundry. can he do laundry yes but I choose to do it the same way I do some planning of his schedule and admin where I can or I know I can help as I know it makes his life easier and feel cared for just as he makes me feel cared for etc.

I am sure plenty of teens that don't cook technically know how to cook but just don't need to

Please tell your daughter I have taught my DC who has multiple SEN how to cook and be able to feed themselves (sometimes us too) from age 12. Do you think she has narcisistic personality disorder and feels entitled? 😂Asking this with a wry smile just so she knows what other people get up to, even if she helps out in other ways.

Well you're the one complaining about my lack of arguments. You're being needier for attention than ops daughter. Do you need me to make you a toastie?

I make packed Lunches for mine (8, 13 and 15) during term time and cook evening meals every day all year, but weekends and hols they mostly get their own lunches. They all get up at different times and all like different lunch foods so it's easier for everyone, including me!

Id tell her to grow the fuck up and stop being so pathetic tbh!

I don't tolerate shit like this from my primary aged children!

I remember, when my boys were screaming about having to iron their own shirts, telling them that my job was not to cater to them, but to turn them into functioning, independent adults. They learned to cook, clean, do laundry, do basic repair-type sewing, balance a budget and keep a bank account balanced before they were 18. They were often not happy about it, but they are now.

My 13 and 16 yo DD's have a message for your DD:

Get off your backside and learn how to make noodles or pesto pasta! (that was after we'd all had a good laugh at her expense).

If she didn't want food at home she could have gone to the shop to get something. If she didn't want to make it she could have bought something or had something delivered. If she wanted an older sibling to do it she could have bribed them or done something in return. Instead she chose to starve, that's pretty silly lol. There were many ways to obtain food, even just sticking a pizza in the oven.

Even my 10 year old DS can make his own lunch when needed 😆

Bloody hell. Focus less on your childrens cooking skills and more on trying to develop decent human beings that don’t laugh at others.

as you can see from my previous posts, I think it is pretty appalling that this teen behaved like this to her mum. But to laugh at her with my teenage kids? 🤔

So none of your children went on to learn beyond 16? No further qualifications beyond 16 as all of them working full time as soon as legally able to?

Me and DD often make our own meals if our schedules don't align or we're hungry at the same time.

I went out for lunch on Monday, DD made herself something, pretty normal here. I might have brought cake back for later maybe.

OP's daughter. You need an apostrophe in there.

In other news, Pedants' Corner is that way -->

Has she never had to make her own food before?

Only if 50% of the people posting were under 20

Great emotional maturity there for dealing with your kid who's going through a tough time with school and also knows you're out on a date with a MAN having seen how the last relationship breakdown upset you. Bravo you for completely ignoring what your kid is trying to say in order to ridicule and belittle them.

Do you often trawl the Internet looking for people going through a tough time to point at and laugh at with your kids? What awesome humans you're raising there, well done. For some fresh air, why not take them into town and see who you can point at and jeer at in real life. It's such an important life skill to kill any empathy they might have.

Oh God. I've got a 15yo like that. I tell her I wish I was 15 again and knew everything!
And yes, she does make her own lunch. Most of the time 🙄

Really unpleasant wasn’t it?

her kids will be able to cook
but will they have friends?

Goodness me. How lazy/ Did she break her arms? Show her how to cook!!!!!