To ask my kids to watch my toddler in the garden coke 10 minutes

[sadandlonely2022]

So I asked me 15 and 16 year old daughters to watch my 3 year old in the back garden whilst I sort lunch and the 15 what old trashed the living room because she said 'why me' and started whining at the fact I asked her to do something, i took the iPad away and she kicked off trashing the living room. Then I asked my 16 year old she pulls her face and said she's 'getting dressed even though she was already decently dressed ' half an hour later o just go tell her to forget it coz she's obv won't help, she went mad because apparently she's 'getting dressed'
All I asked for was 10 minutes help
My older kids never get dressed to go out and that means me and my toddler and 6 year old son are stuck in all day coz my 10 years old can't be arsed either. I'm sick of it I can't just walk pit and leave the 10 year old alone at home to go out.

They said 'it's my child' so why should they help, whilst I have to clean wash clothes and make meal all day like a slave and get nothing back

Feel like walking away my life is awful and pointless and I am actually start to regret having kids

To be honest I suspect part of the problem is that the older ones resent the younger siblings because they could see that the relationship was toxic and you carried on having more children. I've seen this before. It's tough but you did choose to have 5 children and if you left you ex 3.5 years ago (I presume you were pregnant based on the facts you gave) I'm sure he didn't suddenly become a physically and mentally abusive husband. None of this helps you now though, you have five kids but you need to make a chores list and make pocket money reliant on completing them.

Sorry if I’ve misunderstood but why does your 16 year old not getting dressed affect you taking your toddler out? Surely you aren’t expecting her to go out with you to do toddler activities?

I don’t think YABU to ask them to help out for just 10 mins though, really they could’ve just sat in the garden on their phones instead of the lounge and it wouldn’t make much difference. They do sound selfish but it also seems like they’ve been through a lot.

The behaviour of your older children is appalling. I cannot imagine daring to react like the 15 year old did especially. You need to implement real consequences.
I certainly hope the 15 year old tidied that up. Extra jobs around the house if not. She looses the ipad and phone if she has one for one week. She can write a letter of apology to get them back after the one week.
Your 16 year old looses devices for 24 hours and apologise before allowed them back.

There is nothing wrong with them watching the 3 year old for the afternoon, not alone 10 minutes.
They need to pull their weight and have clear boundaries.

16 is not an adult and yes you do get to set the rules in your house. Whatever she says, reply with "I'm sorry you feel like that," and do what you were doing anyway - taking her phone away or whatever. Don't let her talk you out of the consequence (consequence, not punishment) that you have decided on. It's a very common teenager tactic! Time to wise up to it.

Lots of great advice here, but whatever you do, setting rules/boundaries is the best way forward. Make sure they feel the consequences of their unwanted behaviour.

16 might not be considered to be an adult but you can get married, have children, I’ve in your own, join the army and fight for your country and generally do all the things an adult does. You just can’t drink, gamble or get credit.

At 16 Dd had started a business
At 16 I was working 40 hours per week
At 16 my friend was married and expecting her first child.

At 16 if you are having tantrums because someone has asked you to watch your little sibling for a few minutes whilst they get you lunch then it is time to grow the f**k up

I feel for them. It's horrible being part of a big family when you just feel there's no time and attention for you.
However, that's the situation, and just because you're in a big family is no excuse for such bad behaviour. It's creating a negative, resentful atmosphere and you're going to have to set some very firm boundaries here and some very clear rewards.
Do you have much time for your teens?