Girls holiday booked but don't want to go

[britishgray]

I probably am being U, but I'm going on a girls holiday to Ibiza next month with 4 friends. We booked it a long time ago but as time is approaching I desperately don't want to go.

Every day I'm just filled with dread while thinking about this holiday, I have never been this desperate to get out of something it's physically making me feel ill!

There's a few reasons why I don't want to go, mainly because the friends I'm going with constantly argue and bicker when we're together so I know it's going to dampen the mood a lot, also it's going to be extremely expensive and tbh I don't have the money to spend, and thirdly I'm waiting for some hospital results which I'm not sure will come back before the holiday but this is another reason why my head is else where.

I know I can't really pull out now as we're going in less than a month, but was just hoping for some advice or any tips if anyone has been in a similar position?

Don't go if you don't want to. Make up a believable excuse.

I don’t understand how many people think it’s ok to lie about covid. It can be a very serious disease. You wouldn’t lie and say you had cancer, or any other life threatening condition.

By day 2, you will be wondering what on earth you were worrying about!

Have a great time OP

I would go. You’re just catastrophising everything in your head, but once there you’ll be fine. I do that as I suffer a bit with social anxiety and work myself up if I’m going on a night out with friends, but once there I enjoy myself.

If u don’t feel you can go then don’t.enough said for me.you will make them more miserable if your head isn’t in the game.trust me there are more threats on here about holiday soil sports!
could you be honest with them.saying things are overwhelming you at the moment,you’ve been feeling stressed and over anxious about several things in life and don’t feel able to go? They will either understand or they might even suggest ways to help,or at least no how to help whilst away or understand why you might not be being yourself.
are they the type of friend that would kind you doing your own thing.again the amount I’ve seen on friends not joining in or not sticking to plans!
couod you do anything before going to get some technique’s to feel more calm.download some podcasts or meditations.
it might be just what you need.
your feeling all these things here and now could it be great to be totally out of this current headspace.
could you talk to a friend or family about your worries;sounds like things are really getting to you,you need support and to offload.
and regarding money.if you can’t afford it then that is a really bloody good reason not to go,especially at the moment.and if a friend doesn’t understand that then frankly they aren’t worth it.
I think if you can you deserve a holiday. A break. But then for some a break would be being at home amongst things that bring you comfort.
only you know.but friend ms should understand and help.

I wouldn't go anywhere with someone who is controlling. Don't go. Your instincts are trying to protect you.

I decided a long time ago not to do stuff that made me uncomfortable just to please others or meet their expectations. I personally wouldn’t go. If you don’t feel comfortable telling them directly, you could always make an excuse. I would personally be direct but appreciate others may not want to be.

Sometimes you say you'll do something because it sounds like a good idea at the time, and then as time passes it takes on a life of its own and you dread it. It's not really being flakey, we're in a different headspace at different times.

I had this a few years ago with my running club who were organising a weekend away - I paid a deposit and then had an absolute moment of clarity that I didn't want to go. Fortunately I was able to drop out and someone took my place so I didn't even lose the deposit but I would have happily lost the deposit.

To be honest, if they get narky about you not going, they're not friends.

Do you think it is anxiety and once you get there you will be fine and think of relaxing in the sun and bet they were be so disappointed if you do not go. Take time to think and is there one of the girls you are closer to that you can talk about this to. If on holiday they start bickering just go for a swim or a walk on the beach and tell them you are not able for it as have a medical issue. But if you are adamant that you can not go then don't go but you may regret it as may need those friends in the future. Hope your medical issue will be ok. I always get anxiety before going to things and cannot sleep etc but then when am there am fine, so it is all overthinking on my behalf.

I often make plans for things and then later think what have I done and how do I get out of this? The thing is once I go reluctantly it's actually never as bad as I thought and end up enjoying myself. You are within your rights to not go its entirely your decision but you will lose money but maybe the thought of losing money isn't as bad. I honestly think you will end up having a good time though. Try to go off by yourself a bit and relax if you go. Good luck on whatever you decide but I totally get your reasons.

Of course you shouldn’t go and it sounds like you have very reasonable reasons not to. Take care of yourself and don’t worry about the reaction. If they’re friends worth having they will accept your decision.

If it's stressing you out that much, just don't go. Just make sure you're paid up for everything.

No-one can 'force' you to go on holiday.

I love travel and holidays. I also almost always dread them in the run-up for one reason or another 🤣
I would go. If you pull out you might regret it nearer the time. If your test results aren’t back by then maybe tell your friends you are a little anxious and it will give you a good excuse to have a couple of days alone if you need to!

If you're dreading it, and as you've already paid just tell them you won't be coming as you're waiting for medical test results
If you got on with the other " friends" I would say, explain and spend quiet times when necessary
Life's too short.. and at least you won't be spending more money on holiday

I would go. I wouldn't want to waste my money. I am sure you could go and make sure you have a good time. If they start bickering, I would remove myself for five minutes.

Don't go if you really feel that you can't but if I was you, I would.

Sorry, but covid is your answer here. They absolutely won't want you with covid!

Five of us went to Tenerife, Three party animals who slept in till lunch, two of us who woke up early and didn't want the night clubs every night.

We split up some of the time, did some exploring, some sunbathing. Dinner was always very late so we got a taxi back to the apartment some nights, sat on the balcony and chatted or read a book.

It's your holiday too do your own thing. I would pack headphones ear plugs so they don't wake you up if you've headed back early

I feel the same about an upcoming wedding. I plan to get very drunk, very fast.

Please just decline, That’s someone’s wedding they don’t need you there pissed up early doors.

I had this earlier this year. My DH bought me tickets to see my favourite band for my birthday, the closer it got the more it filled me with dread, lots of travelling (car, bus, train), when he booked the tickets we were OK financially by the time it came around we were really struggling and everytime I thought about it I felt sick to my stomach. We did it anyway and I am so glad we did, it was an amazing day, long but amazing. We were second row, met and talked to so many lovely people and got to spend time together without the DC.
I know a day out isn't the same as flying abroad for a week long holiday, but honestly, if it sucks at least it sucks away on holiday in Ibiza, but it might not be as bad as you are imagining it will be. You may have an amazing time.

You need to use the excuse that you're just not feeling well enough and if you are abroad if you are taken ill it will cause difficulties. You need to make the decision and tell your friends - they might be able to get someone else to take your place. Not fair otherwise. I've been on holiday before and been ill. It's no fun at all and ruins the whole holiday for everyone. I also have someone in the family who came back from Greece with pneumonia and spent several days in hospital. All his friends caught it.

I would just go ,it will not be as bad as you think it's just anxiety which is natural after COVID isolation.Stick with the least argumentative and get as much for the holiday as you can .You might surprise yourself and be glad you went .

Love your message. You are absolutely right of course. People are strange ! I didn't see the bit about the bickering with the girls. My stepgrandson is going on a holiday where he will have to endure 14 hours in the back of a car with his girlfriend and her brother just to go on holiday ! 14 hours back as well. How awful !!!! He must be going because he's worried his girlfriend wouldn't like him not to. The things people will endure for a free holiday !

God ! Who would want to go on holiday with a "controlling" friend who decides what you are going to do. No wonder you're dreading it. Get out now while the goings good and organise something later on for when you're feeling good healthwise and it's somewhere where you'll actually enjoy all the activities.

Yes, but we don't know the nature of the OP's medical tests do we ? So how can anyone advise ? Waiting for tests such as for cancer drives you mad. As does indecisiveness. She might be someone who normally loves travelling. Not enough info to advise properly in my opinion.