To be absolutely furious about this and drop DSS off at her house anyway?

[CottonCandy11]

It's me, DH, our son and my DSS who is 9. He's a lovely kid this is nothing to do with him personally but his mother.

He was due to go back to his mum's last night after being with us the previous 3 nights. She rang in the day and asked if he could stay another night as she had been invited out to something.

My husband asked me as he had to start work very early this morning (travelling down south so had to set off at 4am).

I said yes on the very strict proviso she comes to get him at 8am as I have a day out planned.

My son is 4 and I've planned a mother / son day out. Booked tickets for something and am really looking forward to just spending some fun downtime with him on our own. He's been poorly recently too and just got better last week so it's a nice treat for him (and me!).

Anyway, DH has just rang me saying she's messaged him saying sorry she won't be here for 8 as she ended up staying out so won't be home yet until about 11.

I'm so angry. I know her partner is at home (they have a baby so he's been in with their DC) and I know DSS has a key if he's still asleep. I'm seriously minded to go and drop him off with her partner. She'll be furious but I literally couldn't give a shit about what she thinks now, she cares about no one else whatsoever. It's always been the same, hers are the only plans that matter.

But I'm not missing my day with my son, I've been looking forward to it and I'm not having him and me miss out because she wanted to go on a piss up last night and didn't get home.

LOL this is a funny place. We've resorted to bizarre claims about other posters we know nothing about. Fantastic stuff.

People who make personal remarks to strangers on the internet because those strangers have different points of view to their own... must be a word for that.

No “tug of priorities” here.

1. my children

            2. my nephew 






           3.my god children 














                 4.any other child!

This thread ain't about you.

Step kids are almost always in the middle of new relationships.

In your opinion.
Millions of stepfamilies could disagree.

You may as well say "bio children are always in the middle when their parents argue."
Or "bio children are always in the middle when - as happens to 50% of marriages - their parents divorce."

Yes, because no one has referred to their own situation have they? 😂

And if you read the OP’s last post she specifically said she agreed with me

Yes but you keep going on and on and on about yourself as if anyone's interested.

Nobody cares who you love in what order or why you'd never be a stepmum. This thread isn't about you.

Indeed, as the poster has already asserted she isn't a SM!

Fair enough. Yes, I have done a bit with hindsight.

Oh I missed this.

how does the op differ from a SM?

Nobody has done so as extensively & repetitively as you, no @Endlesslypatient82

You seem to think that labouring the point about saving your last rolo solely for the fruit of your loins is 1) of any help to OP 2) any interest to PP 3) makes you some kind of moral authority poised to lecture those who don't share your fervour.

You could choose to accept that nobody is asking you to step-parent anyone, nobody is condemning your choices, & just stop banging your drum.
But I doubt you will, as you seem obsessed with declaring your undying devotion to your DC, as if PP who do not share your views somehow ... don't love their DC enough?

You've even tried to trip PP (ok me) up by demanding if they have bio children of their own. Which is kinda revealing. You were definitely aiming for a triumphant "if you don't have DC of your own you don't understand love" bullshit there. Shame it got foiled by a response you weren't expecting.

Just sitting here, scrolling this thread as a Stepmum with no bio kids (choice), fascinated by everything I should know/do and feel. To be fair it's all in the manual they give you on Day 1.

Useful shit.

For the record, I like being an SM.

Well put!

Well that attitude is probably going to leave you and your single friends with a rather limited selection of single-for-a-reason men to date!

Date a man with children? Hell yes

Blend families and move in together whilst my children are under 18? Hell no

For the record, I like being an SM.

😂👏

Come on now @JenniferPlantain - that's a likely story.
I've seen you, off to the ball in your finery with your ugly daughters, leaving the stepkids at home to sweep the hearth in bare feet.

All us SM's are evil witches, the sooner you own it the sooner you will come into your full Evil Powers.

I'm just off to curse a princess at a christening now - laters, haterz!

This 100%

YOU are not an SM; have you forgotten you inferred that when you were referring to me me me your own situation?

It says more about the people on it! They wouldn't have half the brass balls if their identities were known.

😂 What, pray tell, would we have to fear by doing so? Getting tutted at?

Weird statement. Why wouldn’t any of us say what we’ve said in person? As far as I can see no one has said anything so outrageous that there would be no reason not to, brass balls or no brass balls.

No need for you to concede, Endlessly, LearnedAxolotl is being quite unpleasant without basis as you've the right to post your own circumstances (which are actually relevant).

There was a recent thread about organ donation and it was jam-packed of posters telling all and sundry whom they would and wouldn't give a kidney to.

Thread police not required.

What ho @whumpthereitis
Is it just me picking up on the vaguely sinister McCarthyite phrasing of "if their identities were known" ... ?

No need to respond - wouldn't want you to get hauled off for knowingly associating with an undesirable ...

To be fair, I had gone on a bit!

You highlighted earlier that you couldn't/wouldn't want to be a step parent - which is totally fine and understandable! Fair play for admitting it.

You are not a stepparent so your tug of priorities are different. Step children do in fact come before nieces and nephews and God children because they are (should) be part of the immediate family unit as they would be siblings (half) to any new children in the relationship - which again is closer than a cousin ect. Not a criticism on how you feel at all