To Send ILL toddler DD on holiday

[TiredHippo]

Changed user name as don't want anyone knowing me from my other posts. My Ex BF is supposed to be taking my DD on holiday today, the flight is in the afternoon (3:00ish) but she's just woken up hot to the touch and thrown up, gave her Capol but threw it straight up. I phoned to let him know, and his attitude, to be honest, has angered me so much. I get from his tone, that he still wants to take her away with him. It's for a week away, and I'm not happy that he expects a toddler, who has just thrown up, with a temperature and is boiling hot to the touch to be able to get to the airport (1.5-2 hrs away, depending on traffic) to then go through the rigmarole of going through the airport, to then spend 4 hours on a flight. I said I didn't want her going through all that, but he said to.....stick a cold towel underneath her and see how she feels later. I get his frustration, I really do, as nobody wants their plans to change, especially when you've all been looking forward to go, but would IBU to insist I don't think she's well enough to go gievn the circumstances. Please be kind, I've got an ILL toddler at the moment.

My dd had a sickness bug last month that lasted for 10 days. She definitely wouldn't have wanted to go on holiday while sick.

Has she gone on holiday OP?

Whenever my 2 have had “transmissible” vomiting bugs, I have never caught them.

could be anything dont blame yo0u for saying she has to stay

ive assumed she has anyway

He wants to take her knowing she's ill. And he got annoyed with you for suggesting she not go.

I'd bundle her up and deliver him as planned. He'll have to deal with it. Odds aren't, she won't make it through the check in/security lines at the airport without being sick again, and she's likely to share the bug as it's hard to stay hygienic when trying to clean up a child whose been sick without cleaning stuff to hand.

But at least then he can't blame you for interfering with the holiday.

It’s not about anyone being hacked off or Disney Dads, this is about doing the best thing for the child. My children always wanted Mummy when they were ill, they still do.
A GP would never allow a sick child to fly (unless it is an emergency) so a judge would the view of the medical professional in this situation.
Dad has only two decisions to make - does he stay at home and look after dd or go on his holiday as planned.

This is grossly irresponsible behaviour and very unfair on the poor toddler. Please don’t take this advice.

It's not irresponsible. He is her parent, an equal parent, and has the right and responsibility to look after her on his time, even when she's ill. And today is his day to have her. His week in fact. He can insist on having her as is his right, and it's exactly what he's doing.

Yeah...aged 3, I had exactly the same symptoms as the OP has reported.

It was meningitis. Fortunately, I wasn't taken away on holiday...

If a child is as ill as this, the child should not be taken on holiday, especially not abroad.

Yes he can stay at home and look after her instead of going on holiday agreed. What he can’t do is insist she flies because it suits him and his plans, and not put the needs of his child first.

The guidance given by medical professionals is that she much stay at home for 48 hours. So he is very welcome and should be doing what all parents should be doing which is cancelling the whole holiday and looking after a sick toddler at home. Op is being very generous to offer to
help.
The decision is based on the needs of the child, and as she is way too young to advocate for herself, of course her mother must do it if the stupid man can’t comprehend the basics of parenting and caring for a very young child who is ill and he doesn’t seem to understand or wish to abide by the simple rules and restrictions of aviation and travel.

I agree he shouldn't be taking her on a plane (she should be at home with one of her parents in bed being looked after) but I suspect he's going to have to learn this himself.

What awful “advice”

we are talking about a young child who has a temperature and has vomited. SHE is what matters not a holiday or the dynamic between separated parents

the only responsible and right thing to do is care for the child until she feels better. The Dad can chose to do this or go on holiday and leave the child with her mother who is currently doing that and trying to navigate the situation.

yes it’s disappointing but these things happen.

Spot on.
some of shit being spouted on this thread is risible. Given that the majority of it is from parents it’s also very disappointing and concerning. I hope this isn’t how they behave when their own children are ill

I think once her df gets over his disappointment at not being able to take his little dd away he'll be thankful knowing she's getting better at home and that he's been able to enjoy his holiday without the worry of medical care abroad

From op update sounds like little one is poorly , and they've come to a mutual agreement.

For those saying take her , next time you catch a bout of noro virus , I suggest you try and sit in a car on a hot day for 2 hours. Then navigate somewhere really busy , like a shopping centre, ignoring the looks you get when you randomly start to throw up because I assume you won't be wanting to lug a bucket of vomit around with you , then try and get on a plane to travel for another 4 hours , before getting off somewhere hot , negotiating passport control etc , presumably while still nursing a high temperature and throwing up without notice . See how you like it .
I got noro once at work . The journey home was the absolute worst thing I could possibly think of. Had to stop around 5 times to
Be sick . And some of you want to put a toddler through that ?

@stillvicarinatutu Where in the OP's post does it say the kid has norovirus?

Thank you for being the person that I said would pop up to justify the parents’ need for a holiday over the health and holiday plans of everyone else on the plane.

Maybe OP is also ILL

YABU FOR CAPITALS

Read the update .

Op update says she was cleaning up sick from bedsheets, floors, toilet seat and temp was 39.1.

If it's not noro- it's something. She's ill.

If you’d read the OP’s posts she capitalised ill as for some reason it kept converting to I’ll

That’s why she did it. Not for dramatic effect

If a child is as ill as this, the child should not be taken on holiday, especially not abroad

What do you mean by “as ill as this”? We don’t know the child has been sick any more than once so we? OP has been a little patchy on details/updates.

Better that the OP has agreed with the dad that DD wasn't going.I doubt her dad would have appreciated not being allowed on the flight with an ill child when getting to the airport anyway.

It’s not just parents doing this. On another thread recently someone was planning on taking Imodium and getting on a plane. When I last flew the women in front of me was sick.

If they are flying abroad I would not trust that heartless selfish slob to have taken out health insurance. Even if he did, it won't cover pre-existing illness. So if your child had appendicitis, tonsillitis or meningitis in another country she might not get the best care, medical repatriation etc.

No way would I send her.