To Send ILL toddler DD on holiday

[TiredHippo]

Changed user name as don't want anyone knowing me from my other posts. My Ex BF is supposed to be taking my DD on holiday today, the flight is in the afternoon (3:00ish) but she's just woken up hot to the touch and thrown up, gave her Capol but threw it straight up. I phoned to let him know, and his attitude, to be honest, has angered me so much. I get from his tone, that he still wants to take her away with him. It's for a week away, and I'm not happy that he expects a toddler, who has just thrown up, with a temperature and is boiling hot to the touch to be able to get to the airport (1.5-2 hrs away, depending on traffic) to then go through the rigmarole of going through the airport, to then spend 4 hours on a flight. I said I didn't want her going through all that, but he said to.....stick a cold towel underneath her and see how she feels later. I get his frustration, I really do, as nobody wants their plans to change, especially when you've all been looking forward to go, but would IBU to insist I don't think she's well enough to go gievn the circumstances. Please be kind, I've got an ILL toddler at the moment.

Well hopefully it's resolved by now.

Worried about what? She threw up once and has an unconfirmed temperature.

I'm saying that the mum's vote doesn't trump the dad's vote here. She doesn't automatically get to say no, it's not her holiday. Let the dad make the judgement call.

Worried about what? She threw up once and has an unconfirmed temperature.

The OP had to clean sheets, the floor, the toilet seat etc, so I think it was more than once.

You seem determined to minimise this.

@TiredHippo I hope your DD gets better soon. If the temperature and vomiting continue I would get her checked out for a urine infection. Untreated UTIs have serious implications.

Read the posts temperature 39.6c vomit in different areas. Sheesh

Oh, and the temperature was confirmed in the OP's update as 39.1, which is pretty high and usually indicative of something a little more serious than having eaten the wrong thing.

Too many posters seem to focus on whose call it is to make. It isn't. It's about whether the toddler is well enough to travel, and she clearly isn't.

And what if she does actually have a sickness virus? My daughter ended up in intensive care because a parent sent there child into school after they had been sick once the night before. You have to wait 48 hour's after they have been sick before sending them in.

He actually had rota virus which my daughter and other vulnerable children caught off him. Because she couldn't keep her meds down she had to be given them intravenously. She was lucky to pull through.

Could you imagine a plane full off passengers with the air circulating so possibly coming into contact with her germs. Then they spread it even further to the hotel?

As an onlooker it's ah well if it's infectious mum gets to be ill in peace despite the fact she's warned daddy that it could be infectious.

Whereas daddy, girlfriend her son as well as toddler could be ill on holiday. As the girlfriend I'd be thankful mummy spoke up and would tell daddy to stop being so stupid. The OP sounds like the sensible one

That's why cruise ships are a germ factory

a child who is vomiting and has a high temperature is going to be suffering during a flight. How’s he planning on handling her vomiting everywhere during the flight? It’s going to be horrible for others on the flight.

the airline may not allow her on if she’s visibly sick.

^This^

Yeah this smacks of you sabotaging their holiday...

Only to a complete lunatic

Clearly you've not encountered much parental alienation, it's a classic tactic.

How’s she feeling OP? I really hope it’s a short lived thing for her either way.

Of course it doesn't. You are being ridiculous.

If an ill toddler boarded that plane it would sabotage the holidays of many more people.

I suspect that a lot of ridiculous comments like the above are from posters who haven't bothered reading the OP's updates.

How on earth is a vomiting toddler with a high temperature anyone sabotaging anything?

would you fancy going on a plane trip whilst vomiting and suffering a high temperature?

its unhinged to accuse anyone of sabotage, shit happens. OP is not at fault, the dad is not at fault but dragging a vomiting toddler on to a flight would be incredibly irresponsible. If he even managed to get past the boarding checks.

This is not anything like parental alienation
The OP and her ex have a relationship that hasn’t CMs or court involvement so hardly indicative of parental alienation. If she was committing PA he’d have had to go to court to get a throng involving his child never mind a holiday abroad. Get a grip.

frankly this post of yours and the other “sabotaging “ one is more symptomatic of the cliches surrounded bitter divorced or separated exes

It may be, but it's also a compltely normal thing to not take a puking child with a temperature on a plane.

Horses, not zebras.

Temp of 39 and vomiting does not suggest a child who should be travelling. The ex is incredibly lucky she was with you and he didn’t have to cancel the holiday altogether.

Weve not had a holiday we’ve needed to cancel but we have had to cancel days out or other plans due to sickness and it is rubbish but it is what it.

Dad has only two decisions to make - does he stay at home and look after dd or go on his holiday as planned.

Thats correct, dad makes the decision not Mum.

Wrong. Mum was supposed to get kid ready and deliver to Dad. The child is in her care, she has every right to decide the child is too ill to get ready and deliver.

@SheeWeee you’re just going round and round in circles arguing over nothing this particular case is resolved itself and has been dealt with. You can Huff and puff about everybody being wrong as much as you like, the mother might get to keep the kid back for being sick once maybe twice before it escalates and as of the posters of pointed out it starts to look very much like a case of parental alienation at which point the mother will get her arse kicked in court and no GP records in the world will matter because the standpoint will be the dad will need to do manage the illness as much as mum does.

Again another person who posts about a subject they are ignorant of.

keeping a sick child at home as the OP has done here doesn’t amount to parental alienation when otherwise the child enjoys regular happy time with both parents and there has been sufficient food relations to avoid court and cms

parental alienation is the gradual and systems erosion and denigration / demonisation of one parent in terms of manipulating and skewing a child’s view of the other parent. It is NOT a parent worrying about whether to send a vomiting child off to see her other parent and get on a plane to go on holiday

absolutely pathetic nonsense
wonder if you pedal this sort of rubbish because of things to do with you and your behaviour ???

And @Nothappyatwork
if this was a repeated occurrence and said withholding of child was backed up by visits to GP / 111 / a & e / urgent care prescriptions etc all of which could be obtained then it most certainly would count in terms of evidence as it provides a basis for a decision being made by a responsible parent