Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Send ILL toddler DD on holiday

304 replies

TiredHippo · 15/08/2022 04:29

Changed user name as don't want anyone knowing me from my other posts. My Ex BF is supposed to be taking my DD on holiday today, the flight is in the afternoon (3:00ish) but she's just woken up hot to the touch and thrown up, gave her Capol but threw it straight up. I phoned to let him know, and his attitude, to be honest, has angered me so much. I get from his tone, that he still wants to take her away with him. It's for a week away, and I'm not happy that he expects a toddler, who has just thrown up, with a temperature and is boiling hot to the touch to be able to get to the airport (1.5-2 hrs away, depending on traffic) to then go through the rigmarole of going through the airport, to then spend 4 hours on a flight. I said I didn't want her going through all that, but he said to.....stick a cold towel underneath her and see how she feels later. I get his frustration, I really do, as nobody wants their plans to change, especially when you've all been looking forward to go, but would IBU to insist I don't think she's well enough to go gievn the circumstances. Please be kind, I've got an ILL toddler at the moment.

OP posts:
ThickLizzy · 15/08/2022 07:54

What would you do if she woke up ill on the morning of YOUR family holiday? Would you leave her behind with dad and go without her? Cancel the holiday? Or make her as comfortable as possible and take her anyway?

Mumofsend · 15/08/2022 07:56

Ignoring the poorly child or the father... I think I can speak for everyone who would be rather fucked off at a pukey ill child on a plane with them to potentional ruin several hundred people's holidays.

This is what insurance is for.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 15/08/2022 07:57

Let’s hope dad has insurance!

Zippy1510 · 15/08/2022 08:02

Why is ill constantly capitilised like
its an acronym?

OddsandSods · 15/08/2022 08:03

It’s not ‘one vomit’. She’s vomited twice, has a fever and feels unwell.

She has a vomiting bug, likely a norovirus or rotavirus. They are very contagious.
As a result she should not be travelling on a plane as will infect others, using the loo etc.

She will also likely infect her father and his family and ruin their holiday too. You need to explain this to him op.

Lalliella · 15/08/2022 08:03

I would let him take her with the proviso that if he decides at the airport that she’s too ill to fly you’ll fetch her home.

Summerfun54321 · 15/08/2022 08:06

Does the holiday insurance cover for anything your DD had before going on holiday? If she ended up needing a trip to hospital it could be very expensive. As long as he’s happy to cover the costs of that…

OddsandSods · 15/08/2022 08:06

This sort of ignorance is why these bugs spread everywhere. How are people so uninformed? The more I read this sort of thing the more I think there need to be basic health and parenting classes in schools.

RampantIvy · 15/08/2022 08:09

I agree @OddsandSods. The ignorance and lack of empathy on this thread is astounding.

How so many posters can feel so detached about their DC's health completely baffled me.

Looneytune253 · 15/08/2022 08:10

If it's a tummy bug you'll defo know by 830 don't worry but if he wants to take her, let him but let him know you're happy to keep her if he wants. Send her with a bucket and that might make him realise it's not the best idea

Looneytune253 · 15/08/2022 08:11

Also check he's got insurance in case she does need medical care, that might also make him think

Stag82 · 15/08/2022 08:11

My DS was sick all night before he went on his first holiday abroad with his Dad. Luckily he stopped an hour before he got picked up, he was very tired but otherwise fine! I struggled sending him off sick (I was a bit of an emotional wreck tbh!) but it never crossed my mind not too. He had a wonderful time whilst he was away and Dad sent me a picture of him enjoying the all inclusive breakfast the next day!

MeridianB · 15/08/2022 08:11

Very tricky. Hopefully she will bounce back this morning.

Not siding with your ex but what would you do if you and DD were flying today? Would you still go?

ColonelCarter · 15/08/2022 08:12

If I were taking my child on holiday, they'd have to be really really ill for us not to go. Kids are sick for a day or 2 max usually and it seems really unfair for her to miss out on quality time with dad.

OddsandSods · 15/08/2022 08:12

RampantIvy · 15/08/2022 08:09

I agree @OddsandSods. The ignorance and lack of empathy on this thread is astounding.

How so many posters can feel so detached about their DC's health completely baffled me.

Unbelievable, isn’t it? I won’t go to hotels in school holidays anymore because of the amount of norovirus from idiots with babies in the pool wearing no nappies and grubby hands in the buffet.

RampantIvy · 15/08/2022 08:12

Who in their right mind would send a child on a plane with a tummy bug? This is going on holiday, not travelling home.

it is unbelievably selfish.

NessieMcNessface · 15/08/2022 08:13

It’s so difficult to make a judgement because obviously you don’t know how long this will last or how serious it is. My toddler grandchild started like this a couple of weeks ago and was three days vomiting and distressed during which time they only wanted their mum and were glued to her. How reliable is your ex boyfriend and how happy will your daughter be if she’s left with him when she’s ill? Will she pine for you? Will the girlfriend be loving and understanding with her? Ultimately, if my child was vomiting and had a temperature, I would not let them go.

OddsandSods · 15/08/2022 08:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sswhinesthebest · 15/08/2022 08:13

I’d take her at 8.30 so dad can see how I’ll she is then make a decision together. He’ll probably see for himself it’s not a good idea.

OddsandSods · 15/08/2022 08:14

ColonelCarter · 15/08/2022 08:12

If I were taking my child on holiday, they'd have to be really really ill for us not to go. Kids are sick for a day or 2 max usually and it seems really unfair for her to miss out on quality time with dad.

But not unfair for them to infect other people on the plane.

CatsAreCrackers · 15/08/2022 08:15

When you say they feel hot, what is their ACTUAL temperature? My skin was on fire last night due to the heat, but I'd have had a normal temperature if you had taken it with a thermometer. I also felt quite sickly, again due to the heat.

OddsandSods · 15/08/2022 08:15

RampantIvy · 15/08/2022 08:12

Who in their right mind would send a child on a plane with a tummy bug? This is going on holiday, not travelling home.

it is unbelievably selfish.

Yep. But non unusual, as evidenced by all the thickos on this thread…

RampantIvy · 15/08/2022 08:18

The lack of concern over the welfare of the child is horrifying. This shouldn't be about what the ex wants. This should be about what is best for the child.

FitFat · 15/08/2022 08:18

Poor you OP . Really difficult. Pressure from exs to make a decision you dont agree with is really unpleasant to deal with emotionally. In my experiennce anyway. Your maternal instinct to hold toddler close willl be kicking in too.

I hope they suddenly get better!! No idea what I would do tbh.

stuntbubbles · 15/08/2022 08:19

OddsandSods · 15/08/2022 08:03

It’s not ‘one vomit’. She’s vomited twice, has a fever and feels unwell.

She has a vomiting bug, likely a norovirus or rotavirus. They are very contagious.
As a result she should not be travelling on a plane as will infect others, using the loo etc.

She will also likely infect her father and his family and ruin their holiday too. You need to explain this to him op.

Not necessarily. The trouble is it’s her first vomiting illness so OP has no way of knowing. My DD can throw up a couple of times with a fever and be right as rain a couple of hours later after calpol and a sleep – we keep her off nursery for 48 hours anyway, but she does this all the time and I never catch whatever she had for those couple of hours. When she had noro it was a relentless pukeathon and of course we all caught it; it was clearly different. Toddlers rattle through illnesses, they’re not all contagious to adults as we’ve been there, got the immunity T-shirt.