To Send ILL toddler DD on holiday

[TiredHippo]

Changed user name as don't want anyone knowing me from my other posts. My Ex BF is supposed to be taking my DD on holiday today, the flight is in the afternoon (3:00ish) but she's just woken up hot to the touch and thrown up, gave her Capol but threw it straight up. I phoned to let him know, and his attitude, to be honest, has angered me so much. I get from his tone, that he still wants to take her away with him. It's for a week away, and I'm not happy that he expects a toddler, who has just thrown up, with a temperature and is boiling hot to the touch to be able to get to the airport (1.5-2 hrs away, depending on traffic) to then go through the rigmarole of going through the airport, to then spend 4 hours on a flight. I said I didn't want her going through all that, but he said to.....stick a cold towel underneath her and see how she feels later. I get his frustration, I really do, as nobody wants their plans to change, especially when you've all been looking forward to go, but would IBU to insist I don't think she's well enough to go gievn the circumstances. Please be kind, I've got an ILL toddler at the moment.

You don't stop being a Mum, just because it's not 'your time' FFS

@TiredHippo it would be a 'no' from me too. It's a shame for them, but your DD needs to be at home, with you, when she's ill, not being dragged from pillar to post travelling. She needs the security of her house, her toys, her things while she's unwell, not in a bloody strange hotel after all that travelling.

hope she's better soon!!

tell him to think of HIs Daughter, not his ideal little get away with his gf & both their kids. He can have a nice time with them, if they stay together there will be other holidays, if they don't then nothing lost anyway.

Most ridiculous post of the week!
Of course op is perfectly entitled to decide if her child is well enough to fly.

You've told him. I'd take her to him if that's what he wants and then try to decide together best course of action. He needs to process the info.

Vomiting once is really not a strong indication of a tummy bug.

My DC seemed to go through a phase of being sick the night before holidays. In the end we put it down to nervous excitement. So glad we always decided to go as they were never sick again after we left for the airport.

I don't think anyone is being irresponsible here. None of us actually have any idea how this child is.

We are just trying to reassure the OP that not very vomit is a bug that will last for days.

It's all academic anyway and will depend entirely how the child is when they woke up this morning. If they are fine- then it might be OK to go. If they are still vomiting, best not.

Good grief.

But we don’t know for a fact she has a fever, that’s why I asked what her temperature is.

Yes the OP said her DD is “boiling hot to the touch” but she also said her DD is ILL several times, so the OP may be panicking and thinking it is worse than it is, especially given how hot it was/is… If she called NHS Direct they’d ask her if she could take the child’s temperature.

I agree with you that if the child does indeed have a fever then she can’t go.

Unless you had cancel for any reason cover you would need a doctors note with for it to even be considered by most insurance companies for sickness cancellation

DD used to be sick and hot to the touch every time she got constipated. There’s absolutely no way any of us, even OP, can know if her kid is ill or ILL with a one-off puke or a week-long highly contagious superbug. Waiting to see then taking her to the airport later rather than dropping her off earlier seems to me a sensible course of action, rather than jumping to meningitis, norovirus, super-plague patient zero conclusions.

Depends on how it was booked. If the price was as a result of a group booking then often you cannot cancel without cancelling the whole package and rebooking.

sometimes it’s as simple as removing a person from a group other times it’s not. It’s not a guarantee

This child is a toddler, so won't have any concept of holiday, let alone be looking forward to it. She's not much more than a baby.

if they weren't a blended family taking her, the baby would be going with her mum, not away from her mum.

I've never come across a group booking where the whole thing would fall apart if one person dropped out. Why would anyone agree to that arrangement? And if you did, anyone with any sense makes sure the costs are covered by insurance.

It’s not a group booking! It’s only the four of them! Group bookings always go ahead regardless - you just lose the money ( claim on insurance)

My point was it was unlikely to be cancelled. Lots of posters talking about taking sick child on plane, other passengers etc, the other passengers would still be there if said child was with mum

Actually @OddsandSods , looking back at the OP’s posts she never said boiling hot to the touch, she just said ‘hot to the touch’. You added ‘boiling’ in there. I repeated that in my last post as I took you saying that good faith. “Boiling hot” may well mean the child has a fever, but “hot to the touch” in a heatwave is less likely to mean that…

So the situation was:
The child woke up hot to the touch.

It is not clear whether she vomited only once, after being given calpol, or twice as in just before and immediately after being given calpol.

I don’t know what the hell a “Dorothy dollop” is, but if it’s people who don’t leap to the worst possible conclusion and wait and see whether their child is actually ill before cancelling holidays etc - yes I’m one of them and would rather be one of them than what appears to be the alternative.

@TiredHippo hope you worked things out. I’d have said take her over to him (if she’s a bit better) and trust him to make the decision and bring her back or ask you to collect if she doesn’t continue to improve. He’s her Dad and you can clearly trust him. Otherwise it might be seen that you didn’t want her to go by some people, even though you have said you want her to. I know it’s difficult but I’m sure if she got worse he’ll know he can’t take her.

I hate to be that person, but this is how covid started for my kids every time…

Anyway, I hope you’ve got it sorted OP. No way would I send a poorly child away on holiday - we’ve had so many holidays where one child or another has fallen ill and it’s so miserable for them being away from home when feeling like that - but Id also adopt a wait and see approach for the next few hours.

I’d let her go. If it was your holiday - would you cancel? It would be a shame for her missing out for what could just be a brief period of sickness. He’s her father, you think he will act appropriately by staying in the hotel etc. I’d say it’s his call if he is still happy to take her.

Why do you keep putting ILL in capitals, OP?

I don’t know what “a Dorothy dollop” is either - I did Google but nothing came up. I’d very much like to know. So if you haven’t overheated yourself from apoplexy @OddsandSods , perhaps you could kindly explain!

Because some package holidays are run based on a set price based on people going.

same principle of a group train ticket that requires 3 people to be on the train using it, if one drops out it’s no longer valid.

If the holiday was got through special rates it usually tied to some condition. For most people it’s not an issue but in this case it is.

also insurance won’t cover a cancelled holiday due to a ill child that hasn’t been to a doctor and told wasn’t suitable to fly. They will wangle out of paying.

She does say "boiling hot" - read the OP fully.

Ex would be unreasonable to take the child if she is very unwell but he was not unreasonable to say that they should see how she is later when he was woken by the phone call at 4am. No-one was reasonable or rational then - OP because she was up with a sick child and the ex because he was probably still half-asleep. Waiting to see how DD is was a sensible suggestion.

‘ill’ often autocorrects to ‘I’ll’

So maybe that’s why. It’s just done it to me five times writing the above sentence!