Husband had a private lapdance

[Skye90]

On a stag do. Says he was so drunk he hardly remembers it. He wasn’t the only one but all the others are single.

Not sure how I feel about it tbh.

AIBU

No, my opinion that sex work is exploitative is based on the research that you didn’t want to read. Have you worked in that industry?

The OP asked for advice on dealing with her husband paying for a private lap dance. She hasn't asked for the obligatory lectures on the exploitation of sex workers. Some just can never help themselves though.

You didn’t read the thread then. The primary reason why was because destroying someone’s property is vigilantism, which is wrong and illegal btw. The OP was BU to choose that course of action. She should have filed a complaint with HR (which she did not do, we know from updates, she only verbally complained to her manager).

There also was a bit more context to the photo, it was a signed vintage page 3 photo taken when it was legal to do so and with consent of the 16yr old in question.

You like to ensure men get all their sexual kicks from women being abused
WTF? Suggest you work on reading comprehension if that’s what you really think. I think you’re just trying to be provocatively obtuse.

No, I dont have trouble in relationships. But then I appear to have more ways of holding partners accountable than deploying the nuke of binning him for minor offences. Which is something many here seem to lack? Do you have trouble in relationships?

What research? None of your links were to a single peer reviewed study. None.

The thread moves on though. Otherwise it would be filled as soon as we had one person saying it’s horrible and one person saying it’s fine. Have you worked in the sex industry or not?

Yes they were, hang on and I’ll repost it for you.

Here.

Yet, the OP didn't ask you to extend on your answer as to whether she was BU, in terms of her ignoring general exploitation. She asked for yes or no. Was she or was she not, right to be upset.

@Discovereads
"Because per an OP update he instantly regretted it and promised it would not happen again."

And I've got a bridge I can sell you.

And it doesn't mean he's not done it before.

Yes, and then the thread moved on. Done sex work yourself or….?

@Discovereads the photo was illegal, would you have been so outraged if the photo that was destroyed was of a slave being abused? I doubt it, but because it was a man's bit of wank material again, it should not be destroyed.

Why was it ok for this man to ignore the law and others have to accept seeing a child topless?

You really need to look at your boundaries

Thats what I said, but that’s not denying women are sex trafficked into pole dancing. It’s saying if a women is sex trafficked it won’t be for pole dancing but for full on sex. Yes, women trafficked may end up doing both pole dancing and fucking johns. But she won’t end up doing only pole dancing.

@winterlilies are you referring to @Discovereads? I've already pointed that out'

Why are you so interested? You haven't, so you are only going by theoretical studies. We could all go and Google those. Studies by academics paid to prove their hypotheses. So what?

The thing is @Mississipi71 ultimately you’re right because people absolutely do not want to see the exploitation that goes on when men decide they fancy a night out, so it really is a moot point.

Your link doesn’t work?

I didn’t say she would only be doing pole dancing - you’re doing quite a bit of jumping about here aren’t you?

Do you know the magic secret signal the sex-trafficked prostitute part-time pole dancers give off when a stag night rocks up so the men know to avoid her?

Doesn’t mean he has or will either. In fact only if he’s a habitual liar would your view be true, and I think OP would have noticed if her DH had a habit of lying.

So every time we want a night out drinking and eating, we need to consider the minimum wage bar staff are on. We need to stop and think before we 'exploit' them. Of course people don't do that. They are caught up in the moment. I don't know why you expect a bloke to find his morals before he gets his dick hard. So it's your point that is moot.

👏 👏

It wasn’t ok for him to ignore the law, and no the OP did not have to accept that but we have what is called the police in this country, and they are the ones with police power to enforce the laws. Regular people cannot go around taking the law into their own hands by destroying other peoples property even if it is illegal property. This is vigilantism and is also illegal.

you’d know that if you actually read my posts on that thread.

I don’t need to look at my boundaries at all. I think you need to perhaps research what happens in countries where vigilantism is rife. It’s not pretty and not something to encourage or celebrate in any form.

I didn’t say you did say that. Do you know the magic sex trafficked part time nail girl signal?