Husband had a private lapdance

[Skye90]

On a stag do. Says he was so drunk he hardly remembers it. He wasn’t the only one but all the others are single.

Not sure how I feel about it tbh.

AIBU

Illegal contracts are definitely a thing. So it can’t be there’s a contract therefore it’s not a crime.

Of course contracts don't make it legal, but like all sex related issues there has to be an elemnet of consent. That's where legal/illegal comes in. Upskirting versus lapdancing is not a good example.

Personally I am concerned about whether all women involved in lapdancing have freely consented and how to know who has and who hasn't.

Your arguments don't hold up. Just like the penis in work changing room thread.

Would he be fine with you paying a naked man to grind his genitals in your face?

@FunnyBeaux you need to educate yourself with the difference between self employed and contracted.

Do you think the sec club will not have a contract of days and times that the lap dancer needs to be at the club performing?

You really think there is no agreement of working hours, days and times?

They are not self employed.

BTW, I don't have a gardener.

The HVAWP chairman DCI Donald MacDonald said: “There has been extensive research, first-hand testimonies and statistical evidence gathered over many years which provides evidence that sexual entertainment venues (SEVs) are not harmless entertainment places.

“SEVs are places where the abuse of young girls and women is rife and where the degradation of those trapped in poverty is normalised. Routes into ‘performing’ range from abusive childhoods, human trafficking and lack of perceived alternatives.

“Verbal, physical and sexual harassment and assault of lap dancers is standard and constant. This is carried out by punters and staff alike. Assault includes GBH, stalking, rape and gang rape.

Article here: www.inverness-courier.co.uk/news/the-norths-only-strip-club-defends-its-business-as-safe-an-272858/

nothing is ground in anyone's face!!! you sound like you were never at one

Excellent @Pumperthepumper but someone will be back to say that's a one off minority. They're all wonderful establishments that look after their workers .

They've frequented at least 90% of them and they were all fine.

Yeah right, just another person getting their sexual kicks from other peoples misery.

@oiltrader no the majority of people were never at one! Why the fuck would they pay money to see naked women, who are being exploited!

Never been to a bull fight either, do you suggest I go to one before I decide they're wrong?

FFS!

Those are allegations? There’s no actual evidence behind any of that if you read the article.

exploited? they choose to do it. like i did. The pole dancing kept me so fit

Allegations to that particular club, but the quote is a bit interesting, don’t you think?

Heres more, links at the bottom for further reading:

notbuyingit.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/documents/UnsafeUnfit.pdf

@oiltrader would you suggest that I go on the room whilst my DH is having the lap dance?

Just to see what goes on?

Would I have to pay double for that?

Whats the worst thing a punter ever did to you?

@oiltrader would you like your daughter to do the same job?

What did your family and partner think of it?

no! its usually a dance for two. a shared experience

Here’s another one:

Studies show that in strip clubs, there’s often widespread use of drugs, drug dealing, drink spiking, underage dancers, suspected trafficking, prostitution, sexual harassment and assaults. The venues are attractive ‘safe’ venues for organised crime to flourish. According to a report by Dan O’Bryant Fellow at the Weatherhead Center for International Affairs at Harvard University: “No strip club survives where the promise of sex acts in back rooms, VIP rooms, or local hotels is not realized.”

“People don’t realize that 70% of sex trafficking victims are trafficked into the commercial sex industry; that means they are working in the strip clubs, they’re working on the porn sites, they’re working for escort agencies… we can’t turn a blind eye to that.”
Harmony Grillo, Founder of Treasures, for Women Exiting the Sex Industry

cease.org.uk/facts/the-wider-sex-industry/stripping-the-facade-the-reality-of-lap-dancing/

@oiltrader which is why I think that people like @Discovereads gets a thrill out of her partners doing it.

Honestly my sexual thrills just don't come from seeing exploited women dancing naked.

Ok, that’s a made up pdf with yet more allegations and no evidence. Every reference is written by notbuying it. It’s not any sort of research.

That’s also not true, here’s one of the references:

www.glasgow.gov.uk/CHttpHandler.ashx?id=8107&

Where are these “studies” and you do realise you can’t do direct comparison between U.K. and US any more than you can between U.K. and Iceland.

@Pumperthepumper thou does protest too much!

That’s not one of the references from your link. See attached screen shot. Do I sense a desperate Google search going on?

Here’s another one from Not Buying It with loads of linked research:

notbuyingit.org.uk/sites/default/files/Fact%20Sheet%20on%20Lap%20Dancing.pdf

It's massively different

It would be the end, for me x

Yes it is. I’ll hold my breath for an apology.