Husband had a private lapdance

[Skye90]

On a stag do. Says he was so drunk he hardly remembers it. He wasn’t the only one but all the others are single.

Not sure how I feel about it tbh.

AIBU

You might get deleted for that, but can't quibble the aptness of your comment.

In this case I do. (Look up the primark thread)

And there’s exponentially far more demand for £2 T shirts than for private lap dances.

@Discovereads people may be forced to buy cheap clothing, due to circumstances.

No man, is forced to go to a strip club, in fact it's wasting money that could otherwise be spent on more ethically sourced clothes?

Instead these men are choosing to spend money in strip clubs to gain an erection and a few wanks over.

That's the facts! Despite you spending your day on here "saying it's not that bad", people that disagree obviously can't hold down relationships.

i have seen many couples in clubs together. its not just males these days.

@oiltrader well then the female lacks morals too! But stop spouting it's harmless! You get your sexual gratification like that, that's your issue to deal with.

I'm not sure your point, did you think I was going to say oh if the culprit is female she's innocent? Nope, every bit lacking morals as the man, in fact I'd say worse!

I wonder how these couples would feel viewing their daughter as a lap dancer?

🤔

Seriously who doesn't appreciate a well toned masculine muscly hunk?

Me, for starters. I find them revolting.

Really? Never had a smelly punter,m? Never had one where you had to get the bouncers involved?

@oiltrader no the woman won't get an erection obviously, but I presume she'll get a few orgasm out of it...... classy!

@oiltrader you ended up cash down? You've no contract? No minimum wage? Commission only? Do you get sick pay, holiday pay?

That there is one of the reasons women are being exploited!

There is something wrong with the uni system if you have to fund your way by joining the sex industry.

Do you put it on your CV? Would you be happy for a daughter to do it?

In fact all the posters who don’t think there is a problem with it, would you be happy for your daughter to do it?

Well if my DP of many years was caught upskirting a woman or many women, I would not stay with him. That kind of behaviour would be a complete turn off as would lap dancing.

No one is forced to use Primark.
Objectively all stag/hen dos, girls/mates nights out are “a waste of money” that’s kind of beside the point.

I agree I think it speaks volumes about the sort of person he is I couldn't get past this to be honest

You do realise that upskirting is a sex offence that can carry a 2yr prison sentence and lifetime on the sex offender register?

So, not only do I think a lap dance isn’t that bad, most of society feels that way otherwise we’d have a law banning them.

No one has to, not with student loans. I think some young women would prefer not to have a 30yr debt to a company hanging over their heads and so choose to work a flexible night job that pays way above minimum wage.

Other than that, your posts are taking on a woman bashing tone. This thread isn’t about the morality of women who choose to strip, or their suitability as role models for daughters.

Upskirting is a crime, with a victim who hasn't consented.

I would say that lapdancing does have victims, but it also has a contract - I'll pay you this much money and you do this. Therefore not a crime. Doesn't make it not sleezy or misogynistic with a side order of coersive control if you're unlucky.

It doesn’t pay way over the minimum wage, the pp who used to strip said they lost money. Also, if it was such a hassle-free money spinner we wouldn’t have to traffic in young women to do it.

Illegal contracts are definitely a thing. So it can’t be there’s a contract therefore it’s not a crime.

But yes, to my mind upskirting is far worse than paying for a lapdance. That’s not saying a lapdance isn’t bad imho, it’s just not that bad.

Your first paragraph is ludicrous.

I’d rather appreciate a well toned man’s body when they are playing rugby than cavorting about on stage waving their willies around.

And you can see any number of well toned women on the athletics track.

She lost money on one day shift. If there are no customers one shift, you lose money as with any self-employed person. That’s not to say you’ve lost money by stripping. Generally you make quite alot of money.

And you’re confusing trafficking for sex, if a woman’s trafficked, it’s not going to be to pole dance. It’s going to be for actual full on sex. Stripping doesn’t have the high level of trafficking you see in prostitution. But it’s a common misconception because so many people tend to lump stripping in with prostitution.

It would be over for me.

My husband knows how I feel and he knows it's a deal breaker. It's not something he's ever been interested in and he thinks it is seedy.

If he had a private dance, or even went into a club, then he has crossed a boundary that he knows is a deal breaker (and married me knowing this). If he were to walk into a strip club, he would do so knowing full well what it means for our marriage. It's his choice, and it would be his actions that would end our marriage. That's all on him.

I don't want to be married to someone who treats women as commodities, or someone dishonest about their morals, or someone so weak they can't say no to their friends and get swept along, knowing it would end our marriage.

@Discovereads but I'm referring to how morally wrong it is! Also why you think if women don't conform they lack the ability to have LTR?

I enjoy my partner going out and having fun, not abusing women.

Do you out of interest get a sexual thrill by knowing your partner does this stuff?

It just seems so odd how much your defending something so obviously morally wrong. It just seems you must be getting something from it?

You've been her all day comparing lap dancing to t shirts in primark etc, saying it's just dancing etc. I can only assume you also like your partners gave a penchant for this type of behaviour?

I suppose like a PP some women do attend these and gain sexual gratification from it.

By the way did you conveniently not read the stripper on this thread that lost money by going to work? Convenient that, since you've been stalking this thread all day.

You mean like all freelance workers? Is your gardener exploited then?

No, you’re wrong about that:

humantraffickinghotline.org/sex-trafficking-venuesindustries/hostessstrip-club-based