Husband had a private lapdance

[Skye90]

On a stag do. Says he was so drunk he hardly remembers it. He wasn’t the only one but all the others are single.

Not sure how I feel about it tbh.

AIBU

Oh course you're not kicking and screaming you don't care about the women involved, just that your partners got their kicks!

You also need to read this and the associated book.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-28407999

This really tells more about what kind of people you spend time with.
Honestly.

But stag dos don’t have a tradition of going to the ballet….

I wonder why that is. It’s just dancing, isn’t it? Why do stags choose one and not the other?

Really

You know for a fact all these women make the choice to become lapdancers

where do you get this information from ?

They're not desperate? You must lead a very sheltered life, if you don't see that some women are desperate.

Out of interest do you say the same to the NHS Nurse, who has just come off a gruelling 10 hour shift and says, shit that was a hard day. Do you say well you chose to do the job?

Or is that little line only to be said to women that you see as invisible and lower than you?

How many of the women here have seen a male stripper at a hen do? How many have screamed at the male stripper to 'getemoff'?

Not me, thank goodness. I’ve been to some great hen dos. Lots of drinking, dancing, meals out, scavenger hunts, spa days… Not a male stripper in sight! Would be my idea of a hellish night out.

Thats a complete misrepresentation of what we’ve said. Do you know how hard it is to be a single mother? The rates of poverty? The misery of the children when families split up? The knock on effect on the childrens life chances and opportunities? The child mental illness rates?

It’s not a life choice to be taken lightly. But this is what you are advocating over a one off lap dance during a drunken stag do. I’d argue, you care more about punishing the man by binning him, than you care about the knock on effects for these women having to then cope with single motherhood and their innocent children.

I suggest you keep out of sleazy establishments. Unless you've been in the majority of them you cannot proclaim it's in the minority of places.

I think we can all agree that lap dancing is more likely to lead to prostitution etc, than someone working for a law firm?

Attending strip clubs back stage is a "privilege"? In what way?

Oh sorry so if my partner breaks my trust, it is my fault and I should just accept it? Even play along that it is ok? So are you saying, I should just play it cool? Make out it's a non issue.

Is the responsibility not on my DH?

FYI at no point have I said leave him. That may be the case if the OP cannot get past it, but she cannot help that, she feels what she feels.

Neither is the program I tagged, so don't tell me what to watch, thank you very much.

Because he told you straight away and apologised and said he regretted it, it probably wouldn't be a deal breaker for me, I wouldn't be happy about it though

I suggest you all get some more broad knowledge of strippers and strip clubs, rather than blindly following sleazy documentaries off the telly which only represent a very small minority of sex workers.

You are intimating that

1. This documentary is sleazy


2. It is not representative

I think you need to get better knowledge and no, I do not believe you are going to countless strip clubs up and down the country!

Your knowledge is expanding every time you're challenged. Starting from your know some strippers to you're a platinum member of all clubs!

As well as what? It's my first post on here, so chill. You now say it's fun. Fine.
I was curious as to the use of the term "privilege". 'tis all.

So is going to the local cinema, I don't see that as a privilege though.

No, didn’t say any of that. You can hold someone accountable without breaking up with them. If that’s your only or go to response for everything I can’t imagine you’d have many LTRs.

So he regretted it afterwards but not during 🤷‍♀️

How much family money did he waste?

Same here. I wouldn't attend one and would leave if attended one unknowingly.

Ok, @winterlilies - what is clear is that you have frequented strip clubs up and down the land. Not one is sleazy. I'll take your word for it, as I've never been to one, not my thing. You do, fine.
Are people inventing stories of exploration and trafficking, then?

@winterlilies
Amazing how according to @Backtobacknow if it’s not something she’s seen on a screen, then it can’t be true. So little respect for your lived experience.