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AIBU?

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Original poster

did my guests abuse my hospitality or is this how friends behave?

161 replies

aroundtheblock · 14/08/2022 20:29

Offered my spare room (my office) to a couple I don't know that well who are in Edinburgh to see fringe shows. They are out drinking and seeing shows all day and most of the night and didn't pay for me to attend any shows with them or take me out for dinner or even bring me a bottle of wine. I get that they are here to network but they both have jobs and I saved them over £500 in accommodation costs. Last night they polished off a bottle of really good gin when they came in pissed. I feel they are treating my place like an airbnb and not treating me like a friend. I just asked them to replace the alcohol they drank because I don't see why I should subsidise them. I can tell by their body language that they are deeply insulted that I asked them to do this. AITA for expecting a gift and telling them to replace expensive booze?

OP posts:
winterlilies · 14/08/2022 20:33

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MarmiteCoriander · 14/08/2022 20:34

I'd take it as a lesson learnt NOT to give away your spare room during Fringe to people you don't know and for FREE!!!!

Real friends should of course take you out for a meal, bring a gift etc. These don't sound like close friends though.

Itsnotthesameasitwas · 14/08/2022 20:35

You don’t know them that well so you aren’t a friend to them so they don’t feel they owe you anything, they are just using you as free a crash pad.

Friends don’t treat people like this. in their situation I’d have bent over backwards to show my appreciation to any friendly person who had opened their home up to me.

Good for you telling them to replace the gin!

TheCutter · 14/08/2022 20:35

Awful behaviour from them. I'd be mortified if someone I was staying with asked me to replace something I'd eaten or drank...quite clearly I would have stepped over the line and would have apologised and replaced.
When are they leaving, op? I wouldn't bother giving them the time of day after this.

LIZS · 14/08/2022 20:37

Yes they are taking the p. Hopefully they will show some remorse.

Sunnyqueen · 14/08/2022 20:38

Yeah they sound like piss takers. Just treat it as a lesson learnt.

Aquamarine1029 · 14/08/2022 20:39

You were mad to allow people you don't know well to stay in your home. Consider this a lesson learned.

Georgeskitchen · 14/08/2022 20:39

How the hell did you get talking into this? If they are still in your home I would be asking them to leave, pronto!!

Chamomileteaplease · 14/08/2022 20:41

Are they those weird types who think they are doing you a favour by staying in your home? I've met these types before - always breathtaking!

Justmuddlingalong · 14/08/2022 20:44

If you don't know them that well and offered accommodation, they see you as either a soft touch or a mug and are treating you accordingly. Lesson learned I hope. 💐

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 14/08/2022 20:45

Why would you let people you don’t know we’ll doss for free

Tonkerbea · 14/08/2022 20:47

They are definitely the assholes. How incredibly rude of them! I'd ask them to leave.

Luredbyapomegranate · 14/08/2022 20:47

They are dicks but they aren’t your friends - you’ve said you don’t really know them.

Put the room on air bnb next time. Or give it away to a penniless student putting on a play.

AhNowTed · 14/08/2022 20:48

They are cheeky fuckers and piss takers.

I would have turned up with booze and flowers minimum. And for a weeks stay bought more and food.

They're obviously just using you and haven't the decency to repay your hospitality.

Luredbyapomegranate · 14/08/2022 20:48

And yes, tell them to go now. Just say you have a family emergency and need them out.

AhNowTed · 14/08/2022 20:50

And good for you telling them to replace the gin. I would be falling over myself not to piss you off.

Honestly just ask them to leave.

MargaretThursday · 14/08/2022 20:51

My dc are up in Edinburgh in AirBnB this week. They were very pleased to have got a room at not too bad price (I think it was £28/ night each) because when they first looked the prices were considerably more. And that would not entitle them to drink the host's gin (or anything else unless expressly offered).

Definitely bad guests.

nonevernotever · 14/08/2022 20:53

Been there done that OP. This is why we no longer allow people to stay during the festival unless they are very good friends. There's a certain subsection of CFs who seem to think that the greatest accolade that could be awarded to us plebs who actually live in Edinburgh is to be allowed to host them /wine and dine them/ clear up after them during the festival. Good on you for telling them to replace your gin.

AuntieMaggie · 14/08/2022 20:55

Definitely abusing your hospitality - friends don't act like this! If you'd given me free accommodation during the fringe is have bought you a bottle of gin at the least (hint hint 😉)

BMW6 · 14/08/2022 20:55

What! as soon as they replace YOUR gin kick the fuckers out!

Tell them exactly why - don't mince words.

katseyes7 · 14/08/2022 20:55

I lived in York when l first moved to Yorkshire. I've never had so many house guests! But none of them took advantage like this.
Without exception, when we were 'seeing' the city, they paid for at least one meal for me. I'd always offer to go halves, but they insisted, saying l'd saved them paying for hotels.
It's just common courtesy. I do the same when l go to stay with friends, and usually take either wine, cake or chocolates.

janj2301 · 14/08/2022 20:57

You were saving them about £500 PER NIGHT going on quotes we had for Edinburgh accommodation abut 10 years ago.

Discwriter · 14/08/2022 20:57

OP, I feel for you. We used to get the most random "friends" get in touch every Aug when we lived in Edinburgh. They are not your friends, they are taking advantage of you. Next year just say no.

nonevernotever · 14/08/2022 21:03

And to those saying why did OP let people she didn't know we'll stay - this happens every year. These people are very very good at getting mutual friends/relatives to guilt trip you into it. I still remember the brass neck of one who complained to me because we'd had the temerity to move out of the city centre so we were three miles away rather than walking distance. That was the same couple who said that they would take us out for a meal to say thank you, got the waiter to put the food and drink on two separate bills "because we said we'd pay for the food, so you can pay for the drinks"...That was bad enough, but I don't drink and DH hadn't had much but they'd been knocking back wine cocktails and Irish coffee. That was the final straw - DH and I made a pact that night to refuse every request for August unless the people staying are either family or close friends. Everyone else, no matter how good the sob story is told no .

Elephantscantfly · 14/08/2022 21:08

I’ve just spent a very expensive weekend in Edinburgh as a tourist but spent many years living there and putting friends and family up for the festival, new year etc. It was always accepted that they pulled their weight in the house, dishes etc and we always got a paid for dinner or show. If we were drinking at home they always contributed with some wine or nibbles…. We never asked, it was just a given! I’ve just however hosted 7 US based family members on a tour of Britain, they were perfect houseguests but stayed for 2 weeks and it was way too long to have someone in our house. They bought food, alcohol and we had some lovely days out together but it was expensive despite this and exhausting!

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