did my guests abuse my hospitality or is this how friends behave?

[aroundtheblock]

Offered my spare room (my office) to a couple I don't know that well who are in Edinburgh to see fringe shows. They are out drinking and seeing shows all day and most of the night and didn't pay for me to attend any shows with them or take me out for dinner or even bring me a bottle of wine. I get that they are here to network but they both have jobs and I saved them over £500 in accommodation costs. Last night they polished off a bottle of really good gin when they came in pissed. I feel they are treating my place like an airbnb and not treating me like a friend. I just asked them to replace the alcohol they drank because I don't see why I should subsidise them. I can tell by their body language that they are deeply insulted that I asked them to do this. AITA for expecting a gift and telling them to replace expensive booze?

I live in Edinburgh and we've had a number of visitors recently. Not because of the festival, but due to travel arrangements or other things.

Each set has brought us a bottle of wine and - dependant on length of stay - has treated us to a meal.

I wouldn't kick people out, but I'd check how long their stay is and never have them to stay again. You were quite right to ask them to replace the gin they bought. It sounds like they're acting like cash strapped students, rather than adults.

If someone has a weekend planned and someone offers accommodation it usually does mean just accommodation

This is highly weird @SunnyD44 , surely if someone offers accommodation for free it is because they are a friend and would expect to be spending time with the guests, otherwise what would be the point? I'm trying to imagine what the scenario is that you think "usually" happens as to me "just accommodation" is a hotel!

I'm in Edinburgh at the moment and hadn't appreciated how busy and expensive it is during the Fringe.

Our very basic family room at a Premier Inn near the station is costing nearly £300 a night for an adult and 2 kids (and booked in May).

Extremely rude! Accommodation in Edinburgh during Fringe is extortionate and hard to get, they should certainly have acknowledged your generosity in some way, never mind nicking your gin. Good for you for telling them to replace it. Hope they are not staying long!

I know it's so often said that it's a cliché, but it doesn't matter if they are offended. You are more so. Expect that gin replacement and don't ask then back.

To all those saying OP should have established ground rules, if you have guests (and as OP invited them to use her place, technically they are guests) do you really say "...and don't drink my alcohol"?

Agree with @lot123 . Hotel prices even outside the city centre are £200+ pn during August and availability limited. Hopefully the inconvenience means they won't ask to return , even if you were willing.

That bit really is completely unacceptable. If you think that you might want a drink when using Simeon’s place as cheap accommodation then you need to take your own.

FFS kick them out, why would you let people you don’t know that well stay with you, grow a backbone. As someone else said, family emergency, get them out now.

They are not your friends though because you
Said you don't know them well. So yeah they are probs treating it just like an air bnb.

I'd be tempted to let it all out and tell them to their faces that they're free loading pisstakers who haven't even had the good manners to invite me along to anything in lieu of what they've saved by getting to stay with me. Then think it's ok to demolish my nice gin without asking? Get out of my house right now! (Possibly present them throw at them at this point with their stuff all packed up)
They'll probably tell everyone who'd listen you were crazy, but I wouldn't give a stuff about that, I'd be happy to retort with examples of their ignorant ways...

I wouldn't ever have someone to stay unless I knew them very well. But their behaviour is definitely 'off' - you're not a hotel! How long are they staying? If it's not working out, you can ask them to make alternative arrangements.

It’s worth remembering too that their “free” accommodation isn’t free to provide. You’ve sheets and towels to wash, a bathroom to clean, and quite possibly minor other issues to deal with, such as marked carpets, sticky fingerprints and so on.

OP, just to give you a comparison... In 2019 a woman I've met maybe half a dozen times in a professional context offered me accommodation in her flat in the New Town. I'd said in passing that my niece is very interested in drama and the performance arts and that one of these days I ought to get my act together and take her to Edinburgh for a few days so she could experience the festival.

We stayed four nights. We turned up with wine and flowers. We knew she was working full-time so we built our schedule around hers — things like making sure we weren't hogging the bathroom when she needed to get ready for work. We suggested that she might like to come to a couple of evening shows with us, she accepted and we paid for the tickets and for dinner afterwards. We bought our own food and some treats for her. We left the kitchen and bathroom clean and tidy at all times. If my niece and I had been out late, we crept in and went quietly to bed. After we left I sent our host some special coffee she'd been looking for and my niece sent her a thank-you card. My niece moved to London in 2021 and invited our host to stay if she'd like a few days in town.

Your guests are ungrateful bastards. Tell everyone who knows them what a nightmare they are and warn them not to accommodate them.

OMG, even if they aren't close friends that's awful. I stayed with my cousin's friend during the London Olympics and i bought them drinks, bread, wine, gift for their newly decorated living room, a gift for their son and paid for tea one night before i left!! They are definitely CFers!!

Its a bit rude of them to drink your gin after you letting them stay for free and although I would buy a gift or treat you as a thank you, you cant offer someone something for free EXPECTING a gift/treat because you will end up disappointed.

Lesson learned. They're rude. No matter how well they know you or not.

YABU.

Why do you let strangers stay in your home for free?

Festival wanks be entitled festival wanks…

Ask them to leave if they are being unreasonable. You've nothing to lose

I'm constantly shocked by other people's appalling standards of behaviour. What is wrong with people?

Well they aren’t treating you like an airbnb because they’re not even paying! they’re taking you for a mug.

stay strong. Get your alcohol replaced or turf them out early

good luck

Wait for them to go out, pack all their stuff up - wait for them to come in with the key, take it off them - pass them the bags and tell them to clear off, job done ✅

Maybe they are planning to get you a gift when they leave to say thank you?

Hmmm … apart from the Gin…I have let many friends come and stay with me in my holiday home and some to stay there without me. I’ve never expected a gift or to be taken out and paid for.
I’d like to think that your guests would have replaced the Gin anyway and the ‘looks’ to each other may have been embarrassment that they’d overstepped the mark?