Man stalking woman, excused by saying he must be autistic..

[AutismIsStigmatised]

I came across this video on TikTok today, I'll post the link below but in summary an unknown man posed as an amazon delivery person to get access to a block of flats this woman lives in. He was behaving strangely and wanted to give her a 'gift' which was some sort of cup / candle holder. She confronted him and he left, then came back up again, left again then came back up a third time with his hood up as though he was about to do something sinister. Very bloody creepy.

vm.tiktok.com/ZMNsQfG2W/

The comments are littered with people saying that he's 'clearly autistic'

Take a look and tell me what you think but as the parent of an autistic boy (and wife of an autistic adult) it really upsets me when people assume scary/criminal behaviour is due to autism. I know many people with autism and not one has ever behaved like that..

To clarify though, if someone behaves deceptively, like the guy in the video allegedly did (haven't seen it) that suggests that he knew what he was doing was wrong. So, to me, that's not an autistic person misunderstanding a situation, is calculated and deliberate.

Yes this was what swung it for me when people in the comments on the video were saying he doesn't realise he's doing anything wrong because he's autistic.

If he didn't see anything wrong with his behaviour he wouldn't have felt the need to use deception to gain entry to the building.

It is very different to the example given by PP of the young autistic man approaching the woman on a train. He didn't see anything wrong with his behaviour as he was happy to approach her and chat every day.

True people are so quick to label people with conditions. These same people complaining will be the ones moaning now

Where I live police and social workers excuse many types of behaviour because of autism. I know someone who has repeatedly abused children and we were told by both social workers and police that because he has autism it wouldn't be brought any further. We were told by social workers that his autism was the reason he abused children and we should be sympathetic towards him and still welcome him in our family just to 'keep a bit of an eye on him around the kids'. This is an autistic man that lives alone without support and with no known learning difficulties.

We were told that although it looked like he was being manipulative and deceptive we were just misunderstanding him and should make more of an effort to understand autism. Basically we were told he was the victim and we were terrible for wanting him locked up for what he did.

The third time he comes up in the video, his whole demeanour had changed. That's not due to autism. There's absolutely nothing in the world that can justify stalking and harassing anyone.

I'm not sure if those people realise that a lot of autistic people are also highly intelligent.

But the description is classic cretinism- maternal hyperthyroidism?

Of course but if it was all totally innocent then why would he need to/want to lie in the first place?

Sorry I misinterpreted your post please ignore my previous reply

Did you see him come back up? With his hood up? It was a completely different personality. Like he had made his mind up what he was going to do. I'd be terrified.

Even if he was autistic, it's absolutely no excuse.

Did you see him come back up? With his hood up? It was a completely different personality. Like he had made his mind up what he was going to do. I'd be terrified.

Sounds like a sociopath.

Hi @AutismIsStigmatised i think it was one of the Stacey Dooley docs, maybe this one? www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p0bf8v43/stacey-dooley-stalkers-episode-2

I know autism can present differently between genders, but I always find myself questioning why you very rarely see women have their predatory behaviour atributed to autism in this way. It feels that there's an expectation for victims of harassment to show understanding and consideration to those targetting them, when this same consideration isn't offered in return.

Plus, even if someone genuinely didn't understand how their behaviour is intimidating, then this should serve as an explanation, and not an excuse. Societal norms can be difficult to grasp for those who are neurodivergent (I struggle with this myself, at times) but that doesn't mean they're any less important to learn. If you're frightening someone, and they (or someone else) have told you that your behaviour is frightening, then you should take steps to rectify that behaviour. It is NOT the responsibility of the harmed party to resolve the situation.

Im a woman with autism. I understand that autumn is a huge spectrum.

His behaviour may not be intentionally threatening or scary, but if a woman feels threatened or intimidated then her feelings are absolutely valid and she should report the man to the police, as he may not be receiving the support he needs.

We can only keep ourselves safe.

It’s strange, isn’t it, how people will bend over backwards to make accommodations if a person with some conditions does the wrong thing, but others, such as being a psychopath (every bit as much a psychological condition as others) are viewed as exacerbating rather than ameliorating the offence.

Even if he was autistic , that doesn’t give him the right to stalk anyone

As an autistic woman I agree.

This man possibly isn't receiving the support or supervision he needs. It may not be his "fault" but that doesn't mean the woman is wrong to feel unsafe.

In this scenario adult social services and the police should be notified.

It’s strange, isn’t it, how people will bend over backwards to make accommodations if a person with some conditions does the wrong thing, but others, such as being a psychopath (every bit as much a psychological condition as others) are viewed as exacerbating rather than ameliorating the offence.

Well, not really because a sociopath generally knows he's hurting and scaring people and gets off on it.

Jesus Christ. I’ve just watched that video and it is terrifying. You could see and hear how scared she was, plus that 3rd time he had a fucking knife in his hand!!

This is not an excuse for stalking someone. Autism does not cause people to stalk others. If anything, people with autism are more likely to be victims of stalking, not the perpetrators.

Exactly, when I was abroad visiting family there was a family friend whose son had a thing for women’s breasts. I of course wasn’t aware of that until this very tall 22 year old guy reaches down towards me and thankfully someone - knowing what he was going to do - intervened. It didn’t make it any less worse or fearful for me knowing he was autistic.

What?! He had a knife?! I need to watch this again - must have missed it.

It isn't clear whether he had anything in his hand or not. Some people think yes and others no.

I would hope he was quickly apprehended if he did. Additional needs or not, if you're carrying a knife you're getting arrested.

It certainly looks like he had something in his hand to me but I agree it’s not 100% clear