Man stalking woman, excused by saying he must be autistic..

[AutismIsStigmatised]

I came across this video on TikTok today, I'll post the link below but in summary an unknown man posed as an amazon delivery person to get access to a block of flats this woman lives in. He was behaving strangely and wanted to give her a 'gift' which was some sort of cup / candle holder. She confronted him and he left, then came back up again, left again then came back up a third time with his hood up as though he was about to do something sinister. Very bloody creepy.

vm.tiktok.com/ZMNsQfG2W/

The comments are littered with people saying that he's 'clearly autistic'

Take a look and tell me what you think but as the parent of an autistic boy (and wife of an autistic adult) it really upsets me when people assume scary/criminal behaviour is due to autism. I know many people with autism and not one has ever behaved like that..

And apparently you can’t empathise with them if they are.

Funny that.

People sometimes forget that those with autism are still people. Some of them are really nice people. Some aren’t. Most are somewhere in between (like the majority of people). My son is autistic also, although not profoundly so. It’s my job to teach him how to behave towards others, so that he isn’t ‘accused of shit’ because he won’t have done it.

I work with an autistic guy who has been called 'creepy' by others who barely know him. He's not creepy and does not harass anyone but he is noticeably different to 'normal' men. So I wonder why he's being accused of being 'creepy?'

He's fucking huge. More fool you.

Shouldn't even bother dignifying this because I blatantly said 'can't you feel awful for both of them but I've experienced sexual assault, just like most other women and I can assure you, you're wrong.

Many* other women

That’s obviously a totally different situation. He is being bullied in the workplace and needs support - if you hear people calling him these names report it immediately as it’s unacceptable.

I don’t see what it has to do with men who stalk and harass women though - they aren’t being called creepy because they’re autistic, they’re being called creepy because they’re creepy.

This man has serious learning difficulties and killed a woman.

metro.co.uk/2022/08/04/helensburgh-man-pushed-woman-off-pier-to-her-death-for-a-bit-of-fun-17124451/amp/

This man threw a boy off the roof of the Tate: amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/apr/27/jonty-bravery-tate-modern-not-considered-risk

Both had repeatedly been violent and excused due to learning difficulties. Why did this woman die and this boy have his life derailed because these violent men's freedom to do as they wished outweighed the woman and child's right to safety?

He neither follows nor stalks her. You are completely misrepresenting the dynamics between Lenny and Curley’s wife.

Why?

Not treating those with asd appropriately winning the law also causes fear and is bigoted. Those with learning difficulties are people and have a full range of personalities and traits. Not to accept that and to assume they are all 'vulnerable'
And harmless is bigoted.

Once again, I was discussing a different post on this thread.

@ImWell curlery wife isn't even given a name!

I can't seem to multi quote for some reason, but I was responding to your reply to :

Scianel · Today 14:30
he’d obviously frightened her but he really had no idea. I felt awful for him
I feel awful for her. She's the one who has been put in fear.

And you said:

Can't you 'feel awful' for both of them? Having a disability can make you extremely vulnerable. This makes me glad my autistic son will never live independently tbh.

How is that not referencing the guy in the video?
Scianel mentions him, and you responded defending him on the basis of a supposed disability. Why should she 'feel awful' for him otherwise if not for the fact that we are assuming he has autism?

Also, we don't actually know if this guy has any disability at all, we just know that his behaviour is inappropriate.

Exactly. I'm sorry if they do have a learning disability that makes them violent, but it's not an excuse and it's not something other people need to deal with.
The woman in that video at the end sounds terrified and I can't blame her. Whether he's autistic or not is irrelevant. He is stalking and terrifying a young woman and that isn't okay or understandable, simply because he may have learning difficulties.

No, she isn’t. I’m not sure if this is to show how Curley views her, as property, or not.

A post about a man who was contacted by police after harassing a woman on the train daily for an extended period of time. He was told to stop doing so. Presumably this woman didn’t feel safe or comfortable to tell him herself. He wasn’t bullied or persecuted, simply told he must stop harassing her as she didn’t like it. It’s a shame he couldn’t read the signs that she was uncomfortable but he couldn’t be allowed to continue when she disliked it.

*JudyGemstone · Today 14:26

I remember working with a young man who was autistic, he was a lovely kind soul. He used to catch the train every day with a young woman and would tell me about how he would chat to her, I think he probably did have a crush on her but he thought they were friends.

he was so mortified and upset when the police knocked one day to tell him he had been reported for stalking and harassment and was to stay away from her in the future.

he’d obviously frightened her but he really had no idea. I felt awful for him.

so it’s entirely possible he could be autistic as this sort of thing can happen. It’s not a given of course though, a lot more info would be needed.*

I was referencing this...

And yet you wrote nothing sympathising for the victim, and instead invented an unevidenced mental health issue to diminish what the perpetrator did.

So no, not believing you here.

Well, no. Obviously. Why can't I feel bad for both of them in this situation though, sorry?

And I was replying to you with full awareness of what you were referencing. Whether you have autism or not, you cannot be allowed to make others uncomfortable. This man was not called a ‘creep,’ he was not persecuted or bullied. He was simply told he must leave this woman alone as she was uncomfortable. That’s not ‘being accused of shit.’ It’s being told you are breaking a boundary for somebody. This woman didn’t have to tolerate being ‘chatted to’ and frightened by a man daily despite the fact that he wasn’t aware she disliked it.

*And yet you wrote nothing sympathising for the victim, and instead invented an unevidenced mental health issue to diminish what the perpetrator did.

So no, not believing you here.*

I don't really care but the poster stated that the man in this situation was autistic (not a mental health issue fyi) and I said 'why can't you feel awful for both of them?'

Sooo, you don't make sense, I'm afraid.

Can I just clarify. Do you feel bad for him because you believe he doesn't know he is doing something wrong? Because on that video he quite obviously does. Repeatedly

This woman didn’t have to tolerate being ‘chatted to’ and frightened by a man daily despite the fact that he wasn’t aware she disliked it.

Again, you're pointing out the obvious. And again, I feel it was an unfortunate situation for them both.

This is the last time I'll say that my post had nothing to do with the man in the video. :)

Sorry🙈

Of course it was. I was responding to your comments about ‘being accused of shit you can’t help.’ I was simply saying it really doesn’t matter if you can ‘help it’ or not. It’s about keeping others safe and comfortable.