Man stalking woman, excused by saying he must be autistic..

[AutismIsStigmatised]

I came across this video on TikTok today, I'll post the link below but in summary an unknown man posed as an amazon delivery person to get access to a block of flats this woman lives in. He was behaving strangely and wanted to give her a 'gift' which was some sort of cup / candle holder. She confronted him and he left, then came back up again, left again then came back up a third time with his hood up as though he was about to do something sinister. Very bloody creepy.

vm.tiktok.com/ZMNsQfG2W/

The comments are littered with people saying that he's 'clearly autistic'

Take a look and tell me what you think but as the parent of an autistic boy (and wife of an autistic adult) it really upsets me when people assume scary/criminal behaviour is due to autism. I know many people with autism and not one has ever behaved like that..

Thank you.

What man? A man whose mannerisms and traits are simply different to those of most neurotypical men? Thank fuck there are people who don't think 'hmm, that guy talks funny, what a weirdo

Who said anything about talking funny? Men who harass women or anyone for that matter, should be labelled as creepy. And their behaviour should never be tolerated

So, he can be lumped in with 'sex offenders' then. Unlike a man (or woman, actually because autistic women are often subject to similar abuse) who simply behaves a bit differently because, autism.

The same thing happened to me in a public pool changing room. A female carer with a teenage boy who was about 17. I was drying my hair and he came making a loud noise and stuck his hand down my top. She intervened and said he has a thing for breasts and he’s harmless really. I was furious! I went to pack my stuff up, hair still wet, and he followed me. She kept having to drag him away. She was only drying her hair herself, otherwise they were both fully dressed and I thought FFS is your hair so important that you have to stay and let him harras women. I was only 19 at the time a a bit timid - these days I’d be giving her a piece of my mind and reporting him to the pool and the police.

Ah we are back to the one of the train. Ok so he wasn’t being threatening but the woman was obviously feeling threatened and felt the need to call the police

I'm confident that I have never said men, autistic or otherwise, should be allowed to harass women.

@HailAdrian

If someone with Tourette's says something racist, it doesn't mean they are racist.

But thing they said is still racist and the person they said it to has still experienced racism.

You can label a behaviour without labelling the person.

A person can say behaviour is creepy to them if it is creepy to them.

If they’re behaviour is creepy then yes, they should be labelled creepy. Saying “oh he has a disability” never made a uk e go ‘oh that’s ok then I feel much safer with him hanging around outside my flat to the point I can’t leave’. Unless you think disabled people should be exempt from the law?

What IS your point then?

How does the person being autistic change their effect on people if they harass them?

I think the man on a train should be thing of a past on this thread because it just gets confusing....

Yep, if I find someone's behaviour upsetting or frightening, I can label it as that because that's what it was to me.

Surely it’s up to the person they’re e bothering to decide if the behaviour is creepy, not the person themselves?

these days I’d be giving her a piece of my mind and reporting him to the pool and the police.

If he was disabled enough to require a carer, what would you want the police to do?

Disclaimer: that is not the same as saying 'women should let men touch their breasts and not complain' for the posters who keep trying to read between the lines...

What if they're not 'bothering' anyone?

the police's job is to protect the public.

If that person is a danger to the public they should be arrested. If they cannot face criminal charges due to incapacity they should be sectioned.

The focus here is protecting the public.

Maybe talk to the carer to use different changing rooms where he wouldn't sexually assault anyone?

Meh, I’d rather be labelled ableist than put up with predatory behaviour in case I offended the predator

Because the autistic guy on the train, based on what that poster said, genuinely thought he was making a friend, not harassing anyone. He believed that because of his autism. No, it doesn't mean she should tolerate it as it makes her uncomfortable but it means as I've said numerous times that I feel bad for both the vulnerable woman and the vulnerable man.

@HailAdrian

What if they're not 'bothering' anyone?

Your issue is with people labelling behaviour of someone disabled creepy - not a specific person but a hypothetical person.

If they aren't bothering then nobody would call their behaviour creepy.

So how are instances where their behaviour isn't bothering anyone relevant at all to this discussion?

So report the carer? The guy obviously doesn't actually know he's making anyone uncomfortable...

Let’s go back a few posts where an autistic adult threw a child off the Louvre museum. He had a
carer with him but still this child got severely hurt.

Should his behaviour be excused because he had a carer and he was disabled?

No. He nearly murdered someone. He isn’t safe to be out and about in public grounds if he can’t understand what he did was wrong

How do his internal thoughts stop the person feeling harassed or being harassed?

If they aren't bothering then nobody would call their behaviour creepy.

That just isn't true. Autistic people, male and female, have been labelled 'weirdos' since forever.

A man whose mannerisms and traits are simply different to those of most neurotypical men?

If those ‘mannerisms and traits’ are terrifying and stalking women then yes that is dangerous behaviour.

Let me ask you @HailAdrian - what would be the limit of what you’d tolerate from a disabled person before? How far would you let them hurt you before thinking it wasn’t acceptable?

How do his internal thoughts stop the person feeling harassed or being harassed?

When did I say they did?