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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect kids to eat bbq food?

261 replies

whynowe · 12/08/2022 18:45

DH has invited his uni mates for a bbq at our house tonight. it was planned a few weeks ago.
However yesterday a few have asked if their wives and DC can come too. Of course we said yes.

We had plenty of food for everyone. Beef burgers/ chicken burgers/ chicken drums/ sausages & halloumi on the bbq + quite a few salads/ potato salad/ fries/ pasta salads etc

So I assumed the 3 DC (aged 5-12) would eat the same food as us

two wives( mothers of the children) got all emotional on me as I didn’t have anything “acceptable” for their children to eat. “Oh they can’t eat any of this!! “
They said next time I should ask before having children over .. but they will forgive me because I’m not a mum yet (I’m 32 weeks pregnant with our first)

Anyway the 2 wives left early and will HAVE to stop at McDonald’s on the way home as the children are starving. We had burgers too not McDonald’s ones though 😂

I said to DH I don’t want to ever see them again. He agrees they were rude to me and kept using “you’re still young, we will forgive you on this occasion”
I’m a little younger than any of them in this group.
AIBU to have expected the kids to eat same as the rest or should I have asked in advance? I thought there was plenty of choice between meats/ cheeses/ veg/ breads/ potatoes/ pasta etc 😅 not sure what else I could’ve done.

OP posts:
diddl · 12/08/2022 19:14

Chicken burgers!

Not been able to find them for ages!

Bemyclementine · 12/08/2022 19:14

What sort of food were t they xpecting at a bbq?? My DC aren't keen on salad but would have eaten sausages, chicken, burger, halloumi . Bread, cheese abd pasta!

Lwren · 12/08/2022 19:14

Wtf is wrong with people? Who even behaves so rude?
Asking for fish fingers at a bbq sacrilegious. I hope their Maccies was shite.

welshweasel · 12/08/2022 19:15

That’s exceptionally rude behaviour. If their kids are really that fussy then they should have brought food for them or taken them to McDonald’s on the way.

The food you offered sounds delicious, and all the children I know would have found something they like to eat. There are very few kids who won’t eat sausage and fries.

mumda · 12/08/2022 19:16

Not your circus not your monkeys. And make sure they don't visit again.

kimchifox · 12/08/2022 19:16

I may be reading too much into this but are you the second wife / partner and do those women know the first?! I can't think of any other reason for such nonsense.

Chocolatiestchocolate · 12/08/2022 19:16

F'me how didnt u tell them to sod off to macdonalds right away i dont know.
Of course kids eat bbq. My 2 and 4 year old have only eaten bbq for the last week!

lollipoplips · 12/08/2022 19:16

My 2 year old would have eaten everything on offer, my 4 year old with suspected autism wouldn't touch any of it. But I know they.. so i would go prepared. I wouldn't expect someone to go to any extra trouble to cater for my fussy child.

They were rude!

Minniem2020 · 12/08/2022 19:16

Rude bitches! They wouldn't be over my doorstep again that's for sure op.

themodiste · 12/08/2022 19:17

How patronising of them! All of the children I know in that age bracket, younger and older would have found something to eat from your offerings, OP. Fussy eaters included. It's most definitely their problem, not yours.

diddl · 12/08/2022 19:17

Tey all sound rude-asking if wives & kids can come & then said wives moaning about the food!

Bonjovispjs · 12/08/2022 19:18

They're arseholes and I would have told them exactly what I thought of them.

Aussiedream · 12/08/2022 19:18

So rude of your guests. I have fussy eaters (as in referral to paeds eating clinic at the hospital fussy) and they would have had fries, bread, and burger or sausage unless heavily peppered or spicy. And even then if there was NOTHING they would eat I would APOLOGISE to the hostess and take the blame for their problems. And yes my kids have diagnosed SEN - I would never make it any one else’s problem and comment on the catering.

Chocolatiestchocolate · 12/08/2022 19:19

I would have said oh dear sweetie.. Looks like you'll be very hungry then!

ItsSnowJokes · 12/08/2022 19:20

My 5 year old would have eaten all of your sausages and then asked for a burger 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤣 she loves salad, bread etc..... and she is a fussy bugger.

These mums were rude and patronising. Fuck them off and don't have anything to do with them.

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 12/08/2022 19:21

I think it is either some stupid way of putting you in your place or they wanted an excuse to leave because they didn't want to come in the first place but got roped in by their husband.

MadMadMadamMim · 12/08/2022 19:21

They are rude. And so are their kids.

Years ago we went for a meal with a colleague and his African wife, who had cooked us a lovely, traditional meal. My primary aged DC politely ate it, saying how lovely it was, and one of them had seconds. DH kept saying, "Wow, they don't like spicy food at home! This is amazing. You're such a good cook!" (because DH is slightly dim...)

I was perfectly well aware that they didn't like the food - which was delicious, but highly spiced - but they had been brought up to eat politely as guests and make the appropriate noises about how lovely the meal was. I'd be very annoyed at the sort of whining that went on about burgers at your place.

2pinkginsplease · 12/08/2022 19:22

Rude, obnoxious and patronising!

that would have been their last invite.

I will admit that my dd would probably have turned her nose up at BBQ but I would have taken her a packed lunch for when we were eating.

im raging on your behalf. Next time invite the husbands and decline the women and children coming.

JolieJ · 12/08/2022 19:23

That is shocking behaviour. I have 2 fussy eaters (7 & 2) one had SEN and I always make sure they eat beforehand or take their food along. I wouldn't dream of complaining to a host because it's my problem not theirs!

Hidingawaytoday · 12/08/2022 19:24

How ridiculous! My DD is almost 1 and would eat that, ok not the best for her but it's a one off!

drpet49 · 12/08/2022 19:26

“Rude, obnoxious and patronising!

that would have been their last invite.”

^This. I would never invite them again or have anything to do with them.

Goldfishjones · 12/08/2022 19:26

My kids are fussy despite my best efforts. They'd bloody love your BBQ but if they did complain they'd be told tojust eat the bread (or whatever) and that complaining is rude. They would not be rewarded for their rudeness with a McDonald's on the way home, they would be taught that if you don't eat what's on offer (when it's massive spread of child friendly food as in the case) the sadly you go hungry. Have done this plenty of times. They are becoming less fussy.

I'd also wonder, as a PP did, if they are putting you in your place on purpose. Really rude and YANBU.

Sirzy · 12/08/2022 19:27

Ds wouldn’t eat it but that’s because of his medical condition (arfid) but that’s my issue so I take food with me or he just happily doesn’t eat

HOTHotPeppers · 12/08/2022 19:27

My two (5 and 1) would happily eat all of that. One of my eldest favourite things;to do in summer is a BBQ. Why ask to come if they won't eat anything?

SunnyD44 · 12/08/2022 19:28

So they can manage a burger and fries at McDonald’s but not burger or hotdog and fries at yours.

I would have looked down my nose at them and said ‘oh no sorry we eat real food here’. ‘I can’t believe you feed your kids on McDonald’s’!

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