To expect kids to eat bbq food?

[whynowe]

DH has invited his uni mates for a bbq at our house tonight. it was planned a few weeks ago.
However yesterday a few have asked if their wives and DC can come too. Of course we said yes.

We had plenty of food for everyone. Beef burgers/ chicken burgers/ chicken drums/ sausages & halloumi on the bbq + quite a few salads/ potato salad/ fries/ pasta salads etc

So I assumed the 3 DC (aged 5-12) would eat the same food as us

two wives( mothers of the children) got all emotional on me as I didn’t have anything “acceptable” for their children to eat. “Oh they can’t eat any of this!! “
They said next time I should ask before having children over .. but they will forgive me because I’m not a mum yet (I’m 32 weeks pregnant with our first)

Anyway the 2 wives left early and will HAVE to stop at McDonald’s on the way home as the children are starving. We had burgers too not McDonald’s ones though 😂

I said to DH I don’t want to ever see them again. He agrees they were rude to me and kept using “you’re still young, we will forgive you on this occasion”
I’m a little younger than any of them in this group.
AIBU to have expected the kids to eat same as the rest or should I have asked in advance? I thought there was plenty of choice between meats/ cheeses/ veg/ breads/ potatoes/ pasta etc 😅 not sure what else I could’ve done.

They were bonkers.

It was actually their responsibility to bring food for their DC if they knew the children wouldn't eat BBQ food (though most children I know would have happily tucked into what was on offer).

The clue is actually in the invitation isn't it...

Hang on - they invite themselves to your house, then criticise your (perfectly acceptable) offerings, then patronise you about it too?

Fuck that!

I'd be telling dh to message his friends and call out the utter rudeness. That was a perfectly acceptable range of food and if their children won't eat it it reflects more on them than you.

Twats obviously. What did they expect there to be at a bbq?

They are idiots for pandering to their children like that! Yes toddlers eating can be a pain in the bum but they find something they will eat and the pare ts are foolish for not having snacks on standby if they know they have fusspots!

My 3 year old would eat a burger or sausage and he's eaten BBQ food since 9 months old and quite often goes through food refusal stages.

My kids would have eaten and enjoyed all of that. Plus if they were rude enough to not eat it they would be hungry because there is no chance i would take them for mcdonalds after being offered that selection of food!!

Oh gosh I am raging on your behalf!!!

My DC is 2 and he would eat some of this or it would be my responsibility to bring a sandwich or something!!!

Glad you said you didn’t want to see them again!

Your kids wouldn’t even eat a burger/sausages and fries? I thought those would be perfect for fussy eaters.

OP those women were clearly doing some kind of power play on you, they sound like complete twerps. Don’t give it another thought, apart from not ever having them at your home again.

What weirdos. If your kids wont eat completely normal food prepare to provide your own.

Bonkers. We do bbq at youth group loads and at home. Sausages in a bun and burgers in a bun are absolute favs for all ages.

I puzzled about what they expected you to provide instead - those are all fussy child friendly foods . Pasta salad, burgers, even fries - what were they going to get in McDonalds that you weren’t already providing ?

That is unbelievably rude!! I can't believe people would actually say that. I was a very fussy kid when young and my parents would have brought me snacks if we went to a BBQ. The parents are at fault here, not you! I'm fuming for you!

Two separate women dong that seems almost, well actually, unbelievable.

Inviting themselves and their children and moaning at perfectly boring kid-friendly food. Unless you've doused all the food in hot sauce, I'm finding this hard to fathom.

Twats. Not all children are the same, either, so it’s irrelevant that you haven’t had yours yet: s/he may emerge hating pizza, fish fingers and chicken nuggets and loving a barbecue – mine’s like this. Her favourite food is broccoli, FFS.

If your kid is fussy, the onus is on you as a guest to alert the host ahead of time and say you’ll be bringing fusspot food for the kids, and to apologise for taking up fridge/oven space. Not to assume a barbecue will somehow incorporate fish fingers?!

Yes, that sounds rude. If their children don’t eat standard BBQ food their parents should have brought them some appropriate snacks.

You had a BBQ, most people would come knowing what food to expect. If they knew their fussy kids wouldn’t eat a sausage or a burger, then they should have brought their own food. They are extremely rude and sound like they were trying to be patronising. I’ve experienced this when my husband introduced me to one group of his old friends, it’s like they are trying to put you in your place - let you know that you’re bottom of the pecking order.

My DS wouldn't eat barbecued food (doesn't like the smoky tast), so I would have either asked in advance if you minded me cooking some of the food in the oven, or packed something.

The kids been fussy buggers is normal, but I think it's on the parent’s to work out how to manage that. Not expect the hosts to predict and accommodate without prior communication.

But it was all very standard barbecue food. I'm sure if you were invited to a barbecue and knew your children probably wouldn't eat barbecue food, you'd take something for them. (I'm not having a go at you, I'm just saying that this is what the guests should have done). I know I would (and in fact still do for DS2).

OP YANBU, they were very rude and I'm glad your DH is backing you up on this.

Rude twats definitely don’t ask them for parenting advice. My DCs will happily eat BBQ in fact they’ve had it twice this week for tea.

So rude! My kids would have loved what you had on offer. My Autistic 4 yr old might have struggled a little with some textures but he loves a burger (McDonald’s or any kind) and I would have made sure to bring something with me I know he’d definitely eat just in case

Your bbq sounds lovely and my kids would have monstered through all of that! Ignore them some people are just dicks.

One of them started it as it was her DD who kept saying she can't eat anything on the table & the other wives DD heard that and copied. "Oh I can't eat this either mummy" 🥴

My kid is super fussy and loves bbq food.

but also, she is super fussy so I also either feed her before if I think there will be nothing or bring lots of snacks. It’s on me as the parent to sort that out, not anyone else.

If kids are that fussy then parents should have brought safe food for them to eat. Or just ordered food delivered. They didnt have to make a fuss at all. Though slightly amused they went to Macdonald but couldnt eat anything on offer

They are absolutely nuts! My kids are 9 & 6 and would definitely have eaten what you had provided. So would pretty much every child I know. They were invited to a BBQ, what type of food were they expecting? Totally bonkers.

Burgers and sausages are the staples of a bbq and to be expected - unless you're supplied some very strange ones you have done more than enough.
I have very fussy eaters and if i'm not sure they'll eat something I bring something for them. I don't expect people to cater for their very particular needs.
Definitely steer clear of these people in future.