To expect kids to eat bbq food?

[whynowe]

DH has invited his uni mates for a bbq at our house tonight. it was planned a few weeks ago.
However yesterday a few have asked if their wives and DC can come too. Of course we said yes.

We had plenty of food for everyone. Beef burgers/ chicken burgers/ chicken drums/ sausages & halloumi on the bbq + quite a few salads/ potato salad/ fries/ pasta salads etc

So I assumed the 3 DC (aged 5-12) would eat the same food as us

two wives( mothers of the children) got all emotional on me as I didn’t have anything “acceptable” for their children to eat. “Oh they can’t eat any of this!! “
They said next time I should ask before having children over .. but they will forgive me because I’m not a mum yet (I’m 32 weeks pregnant with our first)

Anyway the 2 wives left early and will HAVE to stop at McDonald’s on the way home as the children are starving. We had burgers too not McDonald’s ones though 😂

I said to DH I don’t want to ever see them again. He agrees they were rude to me and kept using “you’re still young, we will forgive you on this occasion”
I’m a little younger than any of them in this group.
AIBU to have expected the kids to eat same as the rest or should I have asked in advance? I thought there was plenty of choice between meats/ cheeses/ veg/ breads/ potatoes/ pasta etc 😅 not sure what else I could’ve done.

You had burgers and fries yet they had to go to McDonald's? My 12 year old would've been told to eat the bread if they were that rude and demanding! Honestly wonder where the DC get their attitudes from with mother's like that who treat them when they won't eat perfectly good food!

Your food sounds lovely and even my fussy toddler would've found something to eat amongst that. Don't give it another thought except never to invite them again!

BBQ food is as kid friendly as it gets!

They invited themselves to a BBQ, if they have kids with food requirements they should have asked what was on and either brought their own or made a request in advance. Worst case they could even have ordered a pizza for delivery.

Sounds like they wanted to complain and belittle you.

I thought you were going to say they were health freaks and couldn't bear the thought of their little darlings eating burgers and sausages...until I read McD's 😂

Ridiculous. Everyone knows what a BBQ is and what type of food to expect.

I'm struggling to imagine what other sort of food they expected at a BBQ??

Could they not have eaten a bread bun and fries if that's all they liked?!

Burgers, sausages, fries and pasta are standard kids menu fodder. If a child is so fussy they wouldn’t eat any of that then the parents should plan ahead and bring suitable food them. They were rude AF and I wouldn’t see them again either.

My daughter decided she no longer wanted to eat meat and fish when she was 8 years old. This was in the mid 70s when veggies were not as well catered for.
when we ate in other people's home, I used to tell them just to give her the veggies. It wouldn't do her any harm for one meal.

your visitors were being very rude. I'm not surprised you don't want to see them again. And wtf were they "forgiving" you for? You didn't do anything wrong.

In fact I'd have dh send

"I'm really disappointed at the way you all tore into OP and patronised her about only offering barbeque food at a barbeque. If your children have such specific dietary needs that they couldn't eat the food then you ought to have brought them something. Given that you asked if you could bring partners and kids along, I'd have expected a less rude reception to our perfectly acceptable offering"

That’s all normal stuff for even picky kids to eat. Even a very fussy eater will usually eat a white bread roll even on its own or with cheese. My kids wouldn’t care much for any salads or sides but they’ll both chow down on a sausage or burger. If you know your kids are so fussy they won’t eat those staples then it’s up to you to bring something for them tbh.

and all the “oh you’ll understand later” stuff is tosh! I have two DC and if I knew small kids were coming I’d make sure I had white bread, cheese and crisps and some sausages that weren’t weirdly flavoured but that’s all. I wouldn’t make “kids food” at a BBQ.

That’s fine. It’s bbq food.
My 2 year old would have happily demolished the hallomi, pasta, salad and bread.

But I would have also brought him some things as back up at an unknown place and hosts incase there wasn’t much he could eat ( he also has allergies, so always prepared)

We don’t do separate meals here. One meal for everyone.

That’s mad!

most of the kids parties we’ve been to this summer have done bbq sausages or burgers in buns as the catering

And all the kids loved it, even the fairly fussy ones

What would you expect to be served at a BBQ though?

You did nothing wrong OP. Think of it as a small blessing, the irritating children and their dreary mothers left early, and there is more bbq food for the rest of you. Win!

Wtf. Of course kids eat BBQ food. How ridiculous

My children would eat that and if they didn’t then tough- the world doesn’t need to cater to their every fussy ness!

My 2 year old would have eaten that food, it’s not exactly exotic. Unless there’s SEN there’s no reason why children shouldn’t be able to eat normal food.

Burgers and chicken burgers sounds entirely child friendly and the kind of thing someone would make specifically for children. Plus it is a BBQ WTF were they expecting?

If your kids won't eat BBQ food at a BBQ don't bring them, or at least ask the host if they would mind you bringing something the fussy child will eat.

I can't believe that they went to McDs though? I mean the kids won't eat burgers so they took them for a burger?!?!?!? Twats

Well mine would love to come and eat that! They just have very picky eaters as that is a good selection.

Rude and just plain bonkers. Of course children can eat BBQ food.
If their children are fussy, it’s clear to see why. It’s not even the children dismissing the food before trying, the parents do it for them. Just bizarre.

I don't quite understand how the food you had was so "unacceptable". It sounds like perfectly nice bbq food, nothing too bizarre and that would cater to everyone. If the child is that fussy, don't invite yourself in the first place!

They’re being bitches as the (patronising and rude) « younger » comments make clear. They’re probably jealous of you - but I wouldn’t have them back in my home! DH is older than me and his best friend’s wife was stunningly rude to me when they came over to our house to meet me (we had just moved in together) and she’s never been back 😄

Not sure why they would expect fish fingers or pizza at a BBQ.

You served normal BBQ food. DS would have happily tucked into all of it from a young age.

How rude and patronising.

i have to say my 3 year old wouldn’t eat much out of that - but as I know that’s the sort of food I’d expect at a BBQ I’d have taken a sandwich or something with me just in case. I wouldn’t have dreamed of asking if you had fishfingers or pizza!! What you’ve described is perfectly standard child food which most will eat (mine is anomaly 😂)

I’d expect my two year old to eat all that food, to be honest I’d have given a good amount of it to her under one. Chicken drumsticks are a great food for little babies learning to eat!