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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect kids to eat bbq food?

261 replies

whynowe · 12/08/2022 18:45

DH has invited his uni mates for a bbq at our house tonight. it was planned a few weeks ago.
However yesterday a few have asked if their wives and DC can come too. Of course we said yes.

We had plenty of food for everyone. Beef burgers/ chicken burgers/ chicken drums/ sausages & halloumi on the bbq + quite a few salads/ potato salad/ fries/ pasta salads etc

So I assumed the 3 DC (aged 5-12) would eat the same food as us

two wives( mothers of the children) got all emotional on me as I didn’t have anything “acceptable” for their children to eat. “Oh they can’t eat any of this!! “
They said next time I should ask before having children over .. but they will forgive me because I’m not a mum yet (I’m 32 weeks pregnant with our first)

Anyway the 2 wives left early and will HAVE to stop at McDonald’s on the way home as the children are starving. We had burgers too not McDonald’s ones though 😂

I said to DH I don’t want to ever see them again. He agrees they were rude to me and kept using “you’re still young, we will forgive you on this occasion”
I’m a little younger than any of them in this group.
AIBU to have expected the kids to eat same as the rest or should I have asked in advance? I thought there was plenty of choice between meats/ cheeses/ veg/ breads/ potatoes/ pasta etc 😅 not sure what else I could’ve done.

OP posts:
YellowPlumbob · 12/08/2022 19:47

My youngest has a dairy allergy and is fucking fussy on top, even she would have eaten most of the food listed

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 12/08/2022 19:48

Makes you wonder what garbage they feed them at home. Fish fingers and crisps probably. It horrified me the crap some people feed children. My son would eat absolutely anything aged 4.

watermelonlipbalm · 12/08/2022 19:48

My children wouldn't eat bbq food, they're fussy. HOWEVER in that situation I would think ahead and maybe take a pack lunch and just let the person throwing the party know so not to take any offence!

They have been very rude OP. Whether kids like bbq food or not, if they knew they wouldn't liek the food when going then as their parents they should've sorted that out!!!

Hope you're ok ♥️

Heathofhares · 12/08/2022 19:49

YADNBU!!

even if their kids are fussy like mine then they should have brought something along to discreetly feed their fussy DCs

When I take mine to things like that I am happy for them to just have bread or a sausage or whatever it is they will eat from the spread and think about trying to get a balanced diet into them at another occasion. Although scrap that if they are taking them to McDonald’s then they are not even thinking about a balanced meal!

as to the comments about being young. What utter bitches. They can fuck off to the far side of fuck!

dmask · 12/08/2022 19:49

My 1yr old would it all of that, in bits and pieces. Absolutely ridiculous. They sound like crap parents to be honest, if they know their children are fussy, why didn’t they bring something along? I always bring something for my child to eat, no matter where we go (don’t need to use it half the time, but always good for a back up). They sound like the sort of people who will find fault in everything and love something to complain about. I wouldn’t bother with them again.

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/08/2022 19:49

My dd was a fussy eater when younger. Your spread sounds lovely. By 5 she would likely have eaten some of your food and bread if nothing else but I would have brought back up snacks in case. Fussy eating is for me to accommodate, not my host, especially when I’ve invited myself.

Lwren · 12/08/2022 19:49

@Needmorelego the other day I saw a take away selling dirty smiley faces and honestly, how good does that sound? Imagine cheese and nacho type things on smileys! Maybe that's something you'd also enjoy? Rebellious, controversial, but sounds 🔥 🤣🤣

BreadInCaptivity · 12/08/2022 19:50

SunnyD44 · 12/08/2022 19:28

So they can manage a burger and fries at McDonald’s but not burger or hotdog and fries at yours.

I would have looked down my nose at them and said ‘oh no sorry we eat real food here’. ‘I can’t believe you feed your kids on McDonald’s’!

That's the oddest part of this.

Push comes to shove they could have eaten some (not salt laden) fries. Do they not eat fries at home?

It just sounds like a power play to me. Just wanted to find fault and pinned their mast to something ridiculous.

There was nothing inappropriate about the food on offer for children and if the children are that fussy then you bring food with you for them.

DS was fussy when young but I could have found a few things in that menu he would have eaten (and tbh always took a secret sandwich and snacks just in case anyway to as not to inconvenience the host).

Put simply the person who should be "forgiving" is the OP and frankly in her place I wouldn't.

They just wouldn't be invited again (with or without children).

hedgehogger1 · 12/08/2022 19:50

My kids would have eaten it, and very happily too. Next time tell them they need to bring food for kids

Pbbananabagel · 12/08/2022 19:51

This is the clearest YANBU I have ever seen.
they’ve got massive insecurity issues and jealousy running rampant to be making those kinds of comments. Horrifically rude.

PrincessesRUs · 12/08/2022 19:52

Very rude - my daughter wouldn't eat much of that (very fussy) but I know that so I always take a mini picnic with me as I would t expect for someone to have to cater for her!

BreadInCaptivity · 12/08/2022 19:52

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 12/08/2022 19:48

Makes you wonder what garbage they feed them at home. Fish fingers and crisps probably. It horrified me the crap some people feed children. My son would eat absolutely anything aged 4.

Nothing wrong with fish fingers nutritionally.

Quite the reverse in fact and it's a good way to introduce children to eating fish.

loulouljh · 12/08/2022 19:53

How odd. Most kids love BBQ food....

Viviennemary · 12/08/2022 19:53

Unfortunately barbecued food is not healthy. It is full of toxins. But the children could have eaten salad I suppose. But why did they accept the invitation if they didnt eat that type of food. You did nothing wrong. Your guests were a bit rude and ungrateful.

bighats · 12/08/2022 19:56

So rude! Kids can be very fussy but good parents know they'll be feeding them again later or bring snacks.

For play dates etc it seems to be common practice to check in what the kids will eat first, but a) this isn't a play date and b) that's a nice to have.

They were coming for a bbq - what was for tea would have been totally bleeding obvious!

YellowPlumbob · 12/08/2022 19:57

Viviennemary · 12/08/2022 19:53

Unfortunately barbecued food is not healthy. It is full of toxins. But the children could have eaten salad I suppose. But why did they accept the invitation if they didnt eat that type of food. You did nothing wrong. Your guests were a bit rude and ungrateful.

I doubt “toxins” are the reason why the kids wouldn’t eat it, considering they fucked off to McDs after

Saracen · 12/08/2022 19:57

YANBU.

Sorry haven't RTFT - some kids are not adventurous eaters and would not find anything they liked at a BBQ. That is not necessarily their parents' fault. So you can't assume that they will be happy with what's on offer.

BUT that is in no way your problem. It is their parents' responsibility to manage, for example by feeding them beforehand, or bringing some food they know the child will eat, or turning down invitations to eat at other people's houses.

Your only obligation as host is to politely ignore the fact that the kids won't try your food, and refrain from criticising whatever alternative arrangements their parents may make.

PollyRockets · 12/08/2022 19:57

Viviennemary · 12/08/2022 19:53

Unfortunately barbecued food is not healthy. It is full of toxins. But the children could have eaten salad I suppose. But why did they accept the invitation if they didnt eat that type of food. You did nothing wrong. Your guests were a bit rude and ungrateful.

Bet you're fun to be around irl

BowiesJumper · 12/08/2022 19:57

So odd. My kids (6 and 2) both love sausages and the older one loves burgers too.

They knew it was a bbq, so if they knew their kids were fussy, they should have brought food or mentioned it in advance. Super rude to patronise you in that way when it’s them at fault.

Cookiecrumble22 · 12/08/2022 19:57

Viviennemary · 12/08/2022 19:53

Unfortunately barbecued food is not healthy. It is full of toxins. But the children could have eaten salad I suppose. But why did they accept the invitation if they didnt eat that type of food. You did nothing wrong. Your guests were a bit rude and ungrateful.

I doubt mcdonalds is any better

JaffavsCookie · 12/08/2022 19:57

They were super bloody rude, poor you. DH def needs to say something to his mates.

Midlifemusings · 12/08/2022 19:57

This is completely normal BBQ food. What did they expect at a BBQ?

Very bizarre that both were like that.

Coffeaddict · 12/08/2022 19:58

They are being ridiculous DSS ( 10) loves a good bbq, he would go to town on it.

DS (2) has multiple allergies so can be a nightmare but in those situations I just explain he has allergies and have a packed lunch box.

berksandbeyond · 12/08/2022 19:58

They sound ridiculous. If they went to a bbq knowing their kids wouldn't eat it (which is stupid anyway) then that's their job to bring something they would eat with them!

Sniffypete · 12/08/2022 19:59

Why couldn't they eat bbq food? And McDonald's was fine?!? They are the weird ones!

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