To expect kids to eat bbq food?

[whynowe]

DH has invited his uni mates for a bbq at our house tonight. it was planned a few weeks ago.
However yesterday a few have asked if their wives and DC can come too. Of course we said yes.

We had plenty of food for everyone. Beef burgers/ chicken burgers/ chicken drums/ sausages & halloumi on the bbq + quite a few salads/ potato salad/ fries/ pasta salads etc

So I assumed the 3 DC (aged 5-12) would eat the same food as us

two wives( mothers of the children) got all emotional on me as I didn’t have anything “acceptable” for their children to eat. “Oh they can’t eat any of this!! “
They said next time I should ask before having children over .. but they will forgive me because I’m not a mum yet (I’m 32 weeks pregnant with our first)

Anyway the 2 wives left early and will HAVE to stop at McDonald’s on the way home as the children are starving. We had burgers too not McDonald’s ones though 😂

I said to DH I don’t want to ever see them again. He agrees they were rude to me and kept using “you’re still young, we will forgive you on this occasion”
I’m a little younger than any of them in this group.
AIBU to have expected the kids to eat same as the rest or should I have asked in advance? I thought there was plenty of choice between meats/ cheeses/ veg/ breads/ potatoes/ pasta etc 😅 not sure what else I could’ve done.

This is a dangerous thread to read when you're hungry.

One of my children is a very fussy eater. I deal with it when we're out by carefully describing the food in ways she'll take to - i.e. never say 'chicken burger' but instead 'ooh! Giant chicken nuggets!'

But I also don't stress about her eating or not when we're out. Is she's hungry she'll find something (even if it's plain white bread). If not, does it matter if she eats later? I certainly wouldn't be complaining to the hosts or telling them we 'had' to get other food though. Rude af.

My 3 year old would probably have had a hot dog! She loves sausage, just might need cutting into smaller size. I dont understand why they couldn't eat any of it. Fussy kids I guess? If I knew my daughter wouldn't eat bbq food I'd have brought something I knew she would eat. Why would you have other food at a bbq? It's weird they didn't think about this themselves

It really depends on the children. You're working on the basis that kids need their own menu. I was a nanny for two children in France when I was in my early 20s and their school menu put my limited diet to shame and opened my eyes. They had a fixed menu of starter, main and dessert. The most memorable thing I translated, because I was learning, turned out to be Jerusalem artichoke soup (I'd never eaten a Jerusalem artichoke in my life). They ate anything they were served because it was normal. If they didn't like it, no big deal they might like it next time. I decided to take the same approach with my own DD. One of her father's favourite meals was an endive salad topped with chicken gizzards. I managed to hide my horror when he made her a plate and she ended up wolfing it down. Her next favourite meal was roast pigeon and peas (can you tell her DF Is french?). Don't get me wrong, she was super excited to have chicken nuggets at my parents but faced with a BBQ like that she'd try everything.

Doesn't really matter though because OP was serving burgers which is as child friendly as a BBQ gets. I reckon the mums were just having a dig because they like to make the OP feel inferior.

OPs suggestion

It really depends on the children. You're working on the basis that kids need their own menu.

I don't think that kids need their own menu. I'm talking about being aware of what's typically/stereotypically seen as kids' fare in the U.K and what appears on your average kids menu in a restaurant. I think that most people, kids or no kids, could probably take a good guess at least one item you'd probably expect to see on there.

I agree with this 100%. It's not about the food at all. I bet they only wanted to come so they could make snide comments to OP. Their comments seem patronising on top but really they're snarky underneath.

I wouldn't rise to it but if there was another occasion they wanted to infiltrate I would say No, not possible.

Yes, you're right. Even someone who has no kids in their life at all could easily take a good stab at two or three things that would be "safe bets" to serve to strangers' kids at a barbecue. It's hardly sacred knowledge (as the OP's unpleasant guests were trying to imply). And burgers and sausages would definitely be on that list.

Why should anyone have to Google how to feed children when they didn't even invite the children? They invited themselves. So they should have come prepared or just been grateful.

My kids wouldn’t eat bbq food because they’re a fussy nightmare BUT I would NEVER be so rude as to tell you off about it and then say I forgive you 🤣 they sound batshit. If we ever go to bbqs etc I feed the kids first and bring them snacks or something else I know they will eat. It is not your responsibility to read their minds and be aware of what their kids do and don’t eat, especially as it’s all pretty standard food not fois gras and snails!

These women have been in the OP’s life for years and no previous issues

i am curious why you think the women would suddenly “turn”

Wow. No, you don’t expect fish fingers or pizza at a bbq, that’s ridiculous. V rude, YADNBU