Aibu about school WhatsApp group - feel hurt

[Wassyappy]

I’ve been added to the school WhatsApp group for the primary my DD is joining in sept. Nice enough chat, some parents I know from nursery etc.

There was some chat on there about registering for something for the kids for September and I didn’t know what it was so asked “sorry, what website do I need to register on what’s it for please?” No one replied and then about an hour later someone wrote: “oh god, it’s not going to be one of those groups where people ask stupid questions and no one can do a thing for themselves is it? If so I’m leaving!” And immediately loads of other parents liked the comment leaving me feeling so awkward.

Someone eventually replied it was to register for a school book bag you need to pay for.

AIBU to ask the question in the group chat?

I am in group chats for my kids classes and never ever write in them just lurk because generally it’s clique and unhelpful, just ignore them or write back saying sorry as I’ve just been added into the chat I didn’t see any of the conversation previously so just wondered what was going on incase I had missed something important

That was mean.

The only upside is at least you know who to avoid.

I'd be tempted to reply with something like 'I thought this was a group where people might be supportive. My mistake.'

How awful. Find your tribe early on OP so your DC aren't left out of birthday parties etc

Thank the person who replied to you helpfully, tell the other person that it was a simple question and you're sorry they couldn't answer. Stay in the chat though, it'll be helpful

Oh, what a horrible thing for someone to say. I'm sorry. Some people just seem to completely forget that typed words still have an impact.

In my experience, that kind of question is exactly what parent whattsapp groups are for.

It was mean but don’t overreact. It wasn’t personal to you. I would stay quiet for a week or two then continue as normal and never mention it again.

Sorry but we had someone like this on our group chat and it drove me loopy.
Rather than just scroll up to find information that had been said a million times already, there was always one that had to ask!

I'd reply "Oh god, it's not going to be one of those groups where a rude, egocentric cunt takes cheap swipes at people and poisons it for everybody, is it? If so I'm leaving!"

That was bloody rude - but it's one person being an arse - it's unlikely they are all like that. Bide your time OP and don't rise to it.

I think sometimes people forget that you can't see messages posted on a WhatsApp group from before you joined. I'd just thank whoever provided the info and resolve to be a better person than them when next August rolls around!

No you were fine to ask it. Some people are just rude and unkind. I would just reply to the person who answered your question with "Great thanks, I'll have a look" and completely ignore the other comment. Try not to give it any more thought. Usually with people like that if you don't engage they stop bothering you, as they're generally just looking for a reaction.

Don’t do this please!

it may well be that some of them have older children at the school already so what seems obvious to them isn’t so much to parents of new children. Her reply about it being “one of those groups” makes her sound like she’s just a bit jaded with the whole thing. Just think to yourself that it’s a “her problem” not a you problem - she’s clearly a bit short tempered and not helpful, so don’t bother expecting anything from her.

FWIW I work in a school and we do get a lot of parents ringing up and asking things which have been covered in emails, newsletters etc so make sure your email address is correct on their system so you’re kept in the loop (and actually read them, along with any letters sent home - we can see who hasn’t even opened their email messages ) and that way any obvious questions should already be answered.

Hopefully once your child starts you’ll find some nicer parents to befriend!

@Greensleeves 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 love it

What's the purpose of school whatsapp groups if it's not to share information and reminders? I don't understand why someone felt they could be so rude to you when you've only just joined the group.

I'd just thank the person who helped and ignore the rest.

It's was rude and it was personal. I'd send a short reply and then block that mum if she is rude again

'Her reply about it being “one of those groups” makes her sound like she’s just a bit jaded with the whole thing.'

No it was just mean. Mean people carry on being mean because no-one says anything.

Thanks all. It’s hard to get it right with these things sometimes!

I love this^.

How utterly childish of other parents to 'like' such an unnecessarily nasty comment.
Good luck at the school gate OP I think you might need it, and I'd be tempted to keep myself to myself.

Wow, what a nasty response from
that parent! Make a note of her name so you don’t waste energy trying to befriend her later.

I would reply to her message “I’m sorry you feel my question was stupid.” Nothing longer.

Yanbu to ask questions in the class wattsapp, that is literally what its for. Some parents though do ignore all the info from school and expect other people to tell them what to do, and it does get annoying. I even know one mum who asks every single week if someone can pick up her child and mind him for 20 mins as she’s running late. Every week!! And 30 phones ping with her messge each time. So anyway before asking a question do pause and think ‘is this a question I can answer myself my checking emails from achool / the school website.’ But she was incredibly rude to you and I hope she does leave the chat. She won’t though, she’ll try to control it 🙄

When you know some of the class mums better set up your own mini chat group.

Thank the person who helped you, effusively. Then sit back until the group is more established and you can work out who to avoid and who seems reasonable.

Isn’t the whole point of class WhatsApp groups to ask questions. It’s not meant to be a social group for the ‘popular’ mums. If you have older children you should be the helpful people on the group not the moaning ones

On the school (Facebook) group I'm on, there are some parents who are constantly asking questions that have already been recently answered on the group itself, on numerous school letters, and that are explained in the parent portal. It does get wearing. So if that's the situation in OP's case, I have some sympathy for the person who posted the rude comment.

You can't on WhatsApp if it was from before you were added.

I wouldn't apologise for the message. You would be better just ignoring it and thanking the person who gave you the info. It's not personal it's just some dickhead on social media being a dickhead.

If you think the group chat is bad.. wait until you are at the school gates!! Friendly advice OP leave the group chat, keep yourself to yourself and use the school newsletter for any updates you need. TRUST ME!!