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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu about school WhatsApp group - feel hurt

144 replies

Wassyappy · 12/08/2022 17:09

I’ve been added to the school WhatsApp group for the primary my DD is joining in sept. Nice enough chat, some parents I know from nursery etc.

There was some chat on there about registering for something for the kids for September and I didn’t know what it was so asked “sorry, what website do I need to register on what’s it for please?” No one replied and then about an hour later someone wrote: “oh god, it’s not going to be one of those groups where people ask stupid questions and no one can do a thing for themselves is it? If so I’m leaving!” And immediately loads of other parents liked the comment leaving me feeling so awkward.

Someone eventually replied it was to register for a school book bag you need to pay for.

AIBU to ask the question in the group chat?

OP posts:
Anjo2011 · 12/08/2022 18:32

I hate these groups so don’t belong to them. There is no reason you have to be in it. It’s just a clique, take yourself out and just message the people you like directly.

WelliesandWine88 · 12/08/2022 18:32

What a £unt🙄
My reply would be 'oh dear, it's not gonna be one of those mean mums groups where we are nasty to eachother is it?'

Feeellostindirection · 12/08/2022 18:33

Op they sound like a bunch of idiots tbh and probably best given a wide berth. I've never belonged to any whole class Wats app group (I've 3 DC and 2 already left primary now) and I avoid so much drama and bitching that way.

Demirose1987 · 12/08/2022 18:36

That's what those groups are for. What did that person think it was for? Socialising? They've just made themselves look a bit of a twat, don't worry about it. If everyone liked the comment then they're probably one of them annoying loud mouths who everyone pretends to like but doesn't.

JustLyra · 12/08/2022 18:37

How useful these groups are totally depends on the school.

in DD4’s school they’re super useful because her teacher is notorious for not putting letter in bags for 2/3 days (SEN school, the kids aren’t responsible in Dd’s class for putting stuff in their bags). One of the parents works in the school office so is good at giving a heads up on things.

At DD3’s they’re not needed as the school is good with it’s communication. The HT also discourages them as they just lead to trouble in her opinion. She deleted the school Facebook page for the same reason.

RosiePosie80 · 12/08/2022 18:37

I didn’t know you could like WhatsApp posts.

Sounds like a test. I’d just ignore and thank the person who gave you the info.

Bunnycat101 · 12/08/2022 18:39

She was really bloody rude especially if you’re a new parent to the school. It would be kind to be extra nice and welcoming not rude and dismissive. All the people liking it are pretty rude as well. If someone’s willing to answer those sort of queries it’s hardly a hardship to her.

Picklypickles · 12/08/2022 18:40

Just leave, nobody needs a school Whatsapp! My children are 10 and 8 and I've survived just fine without any of that nonsense!

Oioicaptain · 12/08/2022 18:40

So rude! What is worse is that no one else stood up to them! There will be many who are just as shocked as you though and who will think that person is a dick. I would achnowledge their comment though with 'apologies, I was only asking a question. I couldn't find the answer in my emails. No need to be unkind.'

Call them out on it. They will be expecting you to just be too taken aback to respond.

RealBecca · 12/08/2022 18:41

I'd be so tempted to add an eye roll emoji on that post!

Sunbun19 · 12/08/2022 18:41

I'd just post a gif of someone giving the middle finger and then exit the group

AussieMozzieMagnet · 12/08/2022 18:42

reading this makes me want to go back in time. My mother never had to worry about any of these things when I was a young girl. Schools sound like a nightmare these days

Butchyrestingface · 12/08/2022 18:43

"So sorry, looks like someone has added me to the COMPLETE CUNTS WA group by mistake. I'll be taking my leave so you can all get back to it. Toodle pip and see you at the school gate!"

ShakespearesSisters · 12/08/2022 18:45

Also here to add YOU CAN'T SEE POSTS FROM BEFORE YOU ARE ADDED.
I find this sometimes in groups I'm added to. Luckily no one has been rude about it when I've asked a question that was probably asked before i joined.

bellamountain · 12/08/2022 18:49

Oh no that's awful. I actually found that the mums in the nursery class who couldn't be bothered to talk to anyone else, had their own clique and were downright rude with the attitude that they are too important, were actually the ones who do the most sucking up to the teacher. As soon as the reception classes were known, they were link parents straight off, first to be in to help read and they are just so nosy. However, too much chat on a group asking innocent questions is seen as being an idiot.

unicormb · 12/08/2022 18:49

I don't join school chats for this exact reason. And somehow I manage.

SpringMum30 · 12/08/2022 18:51

Just plain nasty. I have 3 children in primary school so lots of what’s app groups and it’s a normal question you asked. I think her response is something you might think but don’t need to ‘say out loud’

UnshakenNeedsStirring · 12/08/2022 18:51

Greensleeves · 12/08/2022 17:20

I'd reply "Oh god, it's not going to be one of those groups where a rude, egocentric cunt takes cheap swipes at people and poisons it for everybody, is it? If so I'm leaving!"

Love it!!!

itsquietuptown · 12/08/2022 18:51

Wow that’s so rude

maskersanonymous · 12/08/2022 18:51

It is rude... but one of the things about WhatsApp groups is you can get the measure of people and see where the cliques are quite transparently (helpful to someone on the spectrum like me). I would just thank the person who did help and keep an eye on the others (and probably try and avoid them).

LimeTwists · 12/08/2022 18:54

I’d directly reply to the snarky comment with something like ‘I was recently added to the group when people were part way through the conversation so didn’t know it was about book bags and needed to ask. Thanks to @ (nice person) for helping me out.’

Then never help her or anyone who liked her post.

carefullycourageous · 12/08/2022 18:55

Theworldisfullofgs · 12/08/2022 17:14

That was mean.

The only upside is at least you know who to avoid.

I'd be tempted to reply with something like 'I thought this was a group where people might be supportive. My mistake.'

I would reply with something like this too. What a bunch of knobs they sound. This is why I have never joined a school whatsapp group - the knobs dominate them.

StaunchMomma · 12/08/2022 18:56

In the grand scheme it's best to rise above these things BUT the school gate mafia can be utterly evil so I do think you need to set your stall out on this.

I'd be tempted to go for something breezy but pointed like 'Well, at least it's been made clear nice and early how this group operates. I do hope, for the sake of the children at least, that parents can treat each other with some respect in person'.

Then I'd leave the group, I think. You'll have messages from school all the time and Mum friends to message to check stuff in no time.

I bet she already has kids at the school and is one of those pick-up gobshites who goes early for a gossip, who loads of mums agree with just so they avoid being in the firing line.

Always a joy!

SausageinaBun · 12/08/2022 19:01

I'm confused as to what a class/school WhatsApp group would be for, other than sharing information like this.

I've see conversations that stray into opinion, that tends to end badly. And occasionally someone tries to sell tat, which gets ignored.

tithead22 · 12/08/2022 19:05

What a twat.

If loads of the other parents have liked it, I’d go with 🫡 🙄 or 🫢 as my reaction. If you do it as a reaction, rather than it’s own post, she’s the only one who will get the notification and probably no-one else will notice.

At least you already know who to avoid.