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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu about school WhatsApp group - feel hurt

144 replies

Wassyappy · 12/08/2022 17:09

I’ve been added to the school WhatsApp group for the primary my DD is joining in sept. Nice enough chat, some parents I know from nursery etc.

There was some chat on there about registering for something for the kids for September and I didn’t know what it was so asked “sorry, what website do I need to register on what’s it for please?” No one replied and then about an hour later someone wrote: “oh god, it’s not going to be one of those groups where people ask stupid questions and no one can do a thing for themselves is it? If so I’m leaving!” And immediately loads of other parents liked the comment leaving me feeling so awkward.

Someone eventually replied it was to register for a school book bag you need to pay for.

AIBU to ask the question in the group chat?

OP posts:
Sunnyqueen · 12/08/2022 19:10

This is exactly why I don't get involved with the school mums. All they do is bitch about each other behind their backs and try one up each other. Can't be bothered with fake shit. Ill stick to my actual friends and be billy no mates at the gate thanks.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 12/08/2022 19:10

I'd be tempted to write a nice reply back directed at her saying you're sorry if you've offended her but you've only just need added so have no way of knowing if the question has been asked or answered previously.
She can't bitch you've been horrible because you've replied nicely but she'll know you've clicked her meanness.

BellePeppa · 12/08/2022 19:12

I like Greensleeves suggestion😁 or I’d reply “whose bed did you get out the wrong side of bitch” ok
I wouldn’t send that but I would want to send something. I was very lucky with my school WhatsApp, everyone was lovely.

BrokenCopper · 12/08/2022 19:12

I hope that rude parent read this thread, it's bloody awful. You see these kind of mums at school gate all the time, to be openly rude and unhelpful is just another level of bitchiness.

You have done nothing wrong.

Topseyt123 · 12/08/2022 19:13

I'm rather glad that there was no such thing as a school WhatsApp group when mine were at school. They sound like magnets for a bitchfest.

Playground politics was bad enough, but at least you got away from that when you went home.

Personally, I would steer clear of either. School will email, text or Twitter you everything you need to know.

Gandalfsthong · 12/08/2022 19:14

Literally the only purpose of these groups. They sound like a delightful group 🤔

TiredYorkshireMam · 12/08/2022 19:14

Urgh, dreadful.

Thank the person who answered you politely.

Do not dignify the other person with a response. Take a mental note of their name and the people who "liked" the comment, as that is mob mentality and they are just as bad.

Hopefully you'll find the decent people.

CrabbitBastard · 12/08/2022 19:14

reply with "bye then"

Sarbears28 · 12/08/2022 19:15

I'd thank the person who replied then @(insert rude persons name) state, 'then leave'.

catandcoffee · 12/08/2022 19:16

Nasty comment to make. Avoid her like the plague at the school gates.

Do you actually need to be on a class WhatsApp though. 🤔

I'd personally leave it and make sure I checked kids school bags,for all school leaflets, and school website.

greyspottedgoose · 12/08/2022 19:18

I'd reply to her message simply saying CUNT, then I'd reply and thank the person who helped

SoSoSusan · 12/08/2022 19:20

Think I'd have gone with 'Oh my word, are you having a bad day x?! It was just a question, keep your knickers on 😂 Thank you [nice mum] for answering, I must have missed the info about this 😊'

SunnyD44 · 12/08/2022 19:23

If you only asked that 1 question then I’d have just replied ‘bit rude’ as it shows you’ve acknowledged it and disagree with it but not calling her out so much that it looks like you’re creating an argument.

applesandpears33 · 12/08/2022 19:24

I'd thank the person who took the time to respond. And take note of the person who was rude. There was no need for that and the way that people responded by liking her comment makes me wonder if she is a bit of a queen bee character.

Thepeopleversuswork · 12/08/2022 19:25

greyspottedgoose · 12/08/2022 19:18

I'd reply to her message simply saying CUNT, then I'd reply and thank the person who helped

I wish I had the balls to do this...

HandlebarLadyTash · 12/08/2022 19:28

People are dicks, they will be just the same in the playground at collection time.

WhatIsModeration · 12/08/2022 19:34

Greensleeves · 12/08/2022 17:20

I'd reply "Oh god, it's not going to be one of those groups where a rude, egocentric cunt takes cheap swipes at people and poisons it for everybody, is it? If so I'm leaving!"

Perfect response 👏

Sandinmyknickers · 12/08/2022 19:35

redskyatnight · 12/08/2022 17:56

I genuinely don’t understand this attitude. A chat group like this is literally meant to be a resource and source of support. It’s not a forum for showing off advanced parenting logistics.

My DD is in Year 11.
here is the activity in the chat group over the last few weeks
Post 1: When are GCSE results out? <someone replies with date>
Post 2: Do we know when GSCE results are out? <someone attaches copy of school letter detailing this>
Post 3: Has everyone seen this letter? <person attaches copy of same letter about GCSE results>
Post 4: Can someone remind me when GCSE results are out? <someone replies with date>
Post 5: My DC doesn't know anything about GCSE results - does anyone else's? <someone posts copy of email sent to all Year 11 students; which is the same as the letter sent to parents>
Post 6: Aarrgh. Lost the letter about GCSE results - when are they? <someone posts the date> <someone else points out that letters are on the parent portal> <someone else attaches a copy of the letter.>

<numerous other posts on same topic not included to save everyone's sanity>

You get the idea. This isn't really showing off advanced parenting logistics. It's just a case of not being totally lazy when wanting information. Particularly as, GCSE results day is a national date and could also be found by use of Google.

Surely most people mute notifications on these sort of chats as you presumably have your own lives and chats, and you just check the messages at a convenient time for you? They're hardly urgent messages.

Can't see why you wouldn't mute it most of the time other than when a big event is on or something and you need more real time notifications....

If you try doing this you might find the messages a lot less annoying

bluefrog11 · 12/08/2022 19:44

That’s very mean! People are always asking questions like that in our group.

I’ve done foundation stage a couple of times already with my other kids & I love to help out the new parents when they ask questions. Occasionally there are annoying comments or questions but I’d never comment rudely like that.

A word from the wise - there ain’t no clique like a school gate clique. Honestly I’ve encountered bigger bitches at the school gate than I ever did in school myself!! Stick with people you know & don’t get too pally with anyone straight off.

StinkyWizzleteets · 12/08/2022 19:44

You need to do the mumsnet special

#head tilt# did you mean to be so rude? #tinklylaugh

You’ve already pissed queen bee off, might as well have fun with your outcast status now.

RogerThatBravoOne · 12/08/2022 19:44

Just reply this 🖕🏼

Blueroses99 · 12/08/2022 19:47

watcherintherye · 12/08/2022 18:07

You could combine your thanks to the helpful person with making a point.
‘Thanks so much for the information. Unfortunately, I missed the previous posts, as I’ve only just been added. Thanks again!’

This is the perfect response. These sort of questions are exactly what WhatsApp groups! Especially as you are new to the school.

I find that there are a lot of messages that aren’t in the school newsletter or other comms from the school - the class teacher must communicate directly with the class reps as there’s all sorts that we only get from the group. so I’d miss loads if I left the group.

saraclara · 12/08/2022 20:19

‘Thanks so much for the information. Unfortunately, I missed the previous posts, as I’ve only just been added. Thanks again!’

This would be erfect. Lightly taking the high road will endear you to the others, and make her look bad.

Snickers94 · 12/08/2022 20:36

Greensleeves · 12/08/2022 17:20

I'd reply "Oh god, it's not going to be one of those groups where a rude, egocentric cunt takes cheap swipes at people and poisons it for everybody, is it? If so I'm leaving!"

Hahahaha 😂

Blondeshavemorefun · 12/08/2022 20:40

‘Thanks so much for the information. Unfortunately, I missed the previous posts, as I’ve only just been added. Thanks again!’

this

And yes this is class wats app groups are for

to ask questions

the rude reply obv thinks herself queen bee. It took her longer to type her reply the. To add website fir bag

and on ours people including myself will add something that was in newsletter by email

like menu change or pe day change etc

not all read emails and some do miss stuff. I’ve missed stuff before yet read the email

she’s a butch