Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

[Doyoumind]

Apart from all the violence etc porn portrays as normal, anal sex is definitely treated as an everyday thing that women enjoy. I don't personally. I know some women claim they do but I've certainly known men who pressure for it and I'm guessing it's only got worse in the years since I was dating.

This article suggests women are unknowingly entering into something that can cause serious injuries.

www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/11/rise-in-popularity-of-anal-sex-has-led-to-health-problems-for-women

Excellent!! 😂

"The article explains why. I’m not sure why people are getting offended at the suggestion that education is required to ensure it is practiced as safely as possible."

It's because it absolutely 100% is in men's favour to agree with the idea that there are literally no physiological differences between men and women. The "pelvic floor" is not a thing. There are no physical consequences of childbirth for women. Women's bodies should not change as a result of their reproductive make up or childbirth. All these things are very inconvenient for men who are tunnel vision on their sex life in relation to which nothing should get in the way.

This, by the way, is why so many men are just silent about the whole transgender thing because the idea that male and female bodies are interchangeable suits male-sexual-preferences-trump-everything agenda.

I often wonder whether porn warps men, or whether the men are already warped and the porn just feeds their fantasies. I doubt the internet turns a nice man into a pervert, but I'm sure it can turn a pervert into a monster. Imagine the horrors you can find on the dark web! All over the country there must be men who spend hour after hour watching, well, I don't even want to think about it. God knows what that does to their minds. There is a limitless supply of such videos. And if that's all you watch, it quickly becomes the norm.

But you can’t deny that there has been a massive increase in people doing or wanting to do anal than there used to be and that’s because people think they ‘should’ do it rather than actually wanting to.

Or maybe there is less of a taboo around anal sex these days and women are less likely to be be shamed into thinking it is some dirty awful act like they used to??

There are several people on here insisting that they enjoy it, that they are engaging in something with their full consent but apparently they don't know what they are talking about, they have been conditioned into thinking they like it by men. It is an incredibly patronising attitude.

I think what’s important is BOTH the adults consent and want to, and it’s done safely. I have friends (women) who are really into choking, prefer anal over the normal penetrative sex etc etc - and they do it safely. Stuff like this - should be discussed beforehand. Sex Education - important.

I get a really unpleasant vibe off a lot of men these days, that there's an increasing problem with them just seeing us as pieces of meat.

I wonder if porn is linked to that.

Choking safely?!

gnilliwdog
DobbyHasASock
Namenic
msssm

Thanks for reading it and for your messages - I know it was a bit of a novel!

Just typing it out feels quite cathartic somehow. I could never talk about it in RL.
Just the realisation I felt the need to name change annoys me. I feel shame, and my finger hovered over the 'post' button for ages before I pressed it. But I know the shame shouldn't be mine - I also am pretty sure he doesn't feel any.

@UrslaB I totally get what you are saying. The thing is if I'm honest I've never been fussed enough about sex to be remotely interested in anything that requires 'preparation' over and above maybe contraceptives and sometimes lube or any practice that requires me mentally to 'build up' to it.

Fair enough if others are - I don't have an issue with it if they enjoy it and I may be wrong but I think a great many women would feel like I do-
to quote an Al Stewart lyric I'm personally all for 'if it doesn't come naturally, leave it!!!

@gnilliwdog aye. Perhaps you just need more practice… 🙄 fucking ludicrous.

why not just make knocking someone’s teeth out a normal part of intimacy?

I'm not sure of your point here? There are plenty of couples who engage in safe, consented, safeworded anal sex and without the BDSM element too (as seen in this thread if you've read the whole thing). It's infantilising and reductionist to suggest that ALL anal sex is abusive/dangerous/assault.

"Even better, men admire women who can do it!"

For a young woman to come out with this really says it all about how incredibly successful men have been at making anal mainstream.
They don't "admire" you, they have just achieved what they wanted to achieve.

I don’t see it as a loss of control at all. I don’t feel controlled by a man who does it. Don’t get me wrong it’s a bit uncomfortable as it goes in but when it’s in it feels really good. Sorry if it’s tmi! I also love being spanked. Not because I like being hurt but it’s the whole pleasure and pain thing. When you’re being spanked whilst having sex it feels good (to me anyway) if someone slapped my bum like that normally it would hurt but when it’s during sex it feels good. It’s not me wanting to be dominated by a man and I have never ever been coerced or talked into it by a man. It’s something that I like and I enjoy purely from a sexual point of view. The men I have been with have never asked, it’s been me suggesting and seeing if that’s what they are into as well.

Hygiene is really important if you indulging in anal.play even without penetration...two friends got really serious uti and kidney infections from cross over from anal to vaginal play without cleaning.

I'm broadly live and let live when it comes to fetishes - I enjoy playing with mild pain for the purposes of pleasure, the same with mild power dynamics - but anybody who enjoys choking/hurting/frightening another human or wants to sleep with somebody who gets their kicks from doing that to them needs to go see a therapist.

Also..please lets not start on the religious nonsense as though religion ever led to a healthy relationship with sex. It in fact is often a massive cause for sexual abuse or sexual repression. The days of missionary, in marriage and only to procreate are over thankfully, as too are the days of shaming women for enjoying sex. Harking back to some mythical day when religious ideas created a society where there was better societal sexual expression is a fantasy. It ignores the countless sex scandals involving kids throughout religious and secular bodies, sex scandals and sectrets hidden by families, 'unmarried mothers,' the repression of homsexuals and the abuse of women through their ignorance about sex and sexuality to exploit them for patriarchal pleasure. Shamefully this meant that marital rape only became illegal by case law in 1991 and not fully illegal by legislation in the UK until 2003.

So, no, I don't think the loss of religion has lead to us sleep walking into a moral vaccuum where vice has taken hold. I think the vices are more readily discussed and seen today than ever before while things like porn have allowed the evolution of vices to evolve and spread at an expediated rate. Such things are countered with education and open dialogue, not religious guilt, shame and repression.

Choking is never safe. Non-fatal strangulation was added as a specific offence in the new Domestic Abuse Act partly for that reason. Young women should realise the very large risk they are taking with their lives by agreeing to being choked.

*I hate the attitude, prominently displayed on this thread, that if a woman actually likes anything that you don't, or anything that a man likes, she's a pick me cool girl who's brainwashed by the patriarchy and desperate to be special.

Stop patronising and putting women down, and take your superiority complex back to your echo chamber.*

This @Thatswhyimacat. And I commented earlier on a poster being insulting to other women. Doesn't sound like somebody with any genuine concern, some others do, of course.

The irony of calling somebody else a cool girl as you insult a woman for doing something private in their sex life is wild. I think there's an animosity towards other women that's not bred from anything good.

Nobody here has promoted anal sex. So there is no reason for others to insult besides their own insecurity about being boring. Get your point across respectfully and reasonably.

I agree with your post and I am horrified for young girls getting into dating these days.

I was in an 11 year relationship from about 2000 to 2011, so basically experienced dating before and after internet porn and smartphones. Nobody ever asked for anal in my younger years of dating, I remember a group of us girls finding it hilarious that one guy we knew tried to get girls to do it, we gave him a gross nickname about it and laughed at him.

Dating in more recent years, every guy would try it, some without even asking. There's a generation of girls being gaslighted into thinking it's a normal part of normal sex and my heart absolutely breaks for them.

whoosh! Thank you though. It’s been decades since anyone called me young.

im old enough to have been brought up on sex-tips from mizz suggesting alternating between hot and cold drinks when giving oral as opposed to “how to pose for Instagram when you can’t sit down and you’ve got a bruised neck”.

And that's your right. You have the full right to not want any part of the various and sundry complex forms that sex and secuality can take nowadays. If you know what you like then good for you. You have that knowledge and thus should have the freedom to tell any partner what you will and won't engage in. Fair play.

Had a little lol at the 'come naturally' line since you metioned using contraception. To modern man nothing is really natural, not our clothes, our health care, our cars, the planes we take to go on holiday. Drawing that line in the bedroom is your right though.

To those who enjoy it, ok you go for it. Don't gaslight other women by saying you have to work up to it, lube up and it's perfectly safe. The article makes it clear it's not. If you want to take risks with your health it's your right, but don't deny that I what you are doing.

Its considerably tighter for one. Despite all your protestations.

So, anal sex is a normal part of everyday sex that women enjoy and it has been for hundreds of years. I enjoy it, I know a good portion of my close friends enjoy it and it’s definitely healthy and NORMAL in the right circumstances. However male centric, aggressive, unrealistic sex is not healthy. Yes porn absolutely pushes this toxic agenda. No women should ever feel pressured into anything especially by unrealistic expectations portrayed by porn. I don’t think porn is about to go away so we need to work at taking control of the narrative. Sadly this ain’t going to be quick. This is still a patriarchal society where men’s sexual needs control how sex is depicted in everyday culture. They control how we see ourselves and other women.

However I will say a good place for lots of people on here to start is to stop shaming women for liking anal sex. Some of the archaic and toxic attitudes displayed here towards things you might not enjoy yourself is nothing short of petty and childish.

I do occasionally enjoy anal stimulation , the key is lube and preparation it shouldn't be a wham bam thing like portrayed in porn which will be causing the injuries. Porn stars will douche and use butt plug with lots of lube. Porn makes it out that the man can just stick his penis in with no conversation or prep.