I find the tone of this thread very disappointing. Blanket addresses of "Men now" and "it's horrendous." Very sweeping statements.
Yes there are women here who find the very concept of anal repulsive and there are those who have unfortunately had terrible experiences with men. But by the same token there are women and men who find anal pleasurable because if done correctly...well the anus has a lot of nerve endings so it can be very pleasant for some people.
However, like any sexual act, anal sex is only as good as the communication and trust that exists between the people involved. More so for anal since it requires a frank conversation before hand, ample preperation by both parties and if you are a beginner a long period of 'building up' to it. I refer to the anal snails mantra of "slow, lubed and communicating!"
My issue with pornography is not the acts which are shown but with the normalisation of them without the required communication and preperation beforehand. So many perople, BOTH men and women, see what happens in porn and think they have an automatic need or right to replicate what they have seen. I really think all porn should require disclaimers by the professionals involved where they verbalise to the camera beforehand what they have consented to do in the scene people are about to see and what preperations were taken for it.
Any individual who tries to engage in a sexual act, be that oral, anal, penetration of any kind, tying you up, using toys etc, without discussing it first with you is an inconsiderate and possibly abusive idiot who should be thrown to the curb with all due haste. Communication and consent are key.
This I feel is doubly true where the normalisation of 'spanking' or 'hitting' comes into play. 1/3 of women now say they have been choked or slapped during sex without their consent...This I think is a massive result of porn, young men and women see professionals in porn being slapped and assume that is okay in the real world. More over, some even think it is necessary for good sex. It is not.
To my university boyfriend who slapped me on the bum during sex out of the blue one night becaue he thought it would spice things up and to an ex girlfried who twisted my nipples painfully for some random reason cause she thought it would exciting...I am looking at you. They deserved the long and vicious lectures about consent, safe sex and communciation they got afterwards.
Nothing should happen without consent. I would never judge someone on what they enjoy in bed because hey, a love tap, a swat, some cursing, pinching, biting, hair pulling etc at just the right moment can heighten pleasure for some people if that is their thing. But that is not for everyone and is something to be discussed with partners and asked for, explained why they like it, when, where and in what manner it should happen. Otherwise it is is assault. The fact so many men now think slapping women, pulling their hair etc. somehow makes sex better is ridiculous, and so many women just go along with it as though it is normal.
That is the real crime of porn. It is normalising acts without communication and consent. The acts themselves arent the problem, its the behaviours of the people and their lack of commication and consent.