Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

[Doyoumind]

Apart from all the violence etc porn portrays as normal, anal sex is definitely treated as an everyday thing that women enjoy. I don't personally. I know some women claim they do but I've certainly known men who pressure for it and I'm guessing it's only got worse in the years since I was dating.

This article suggests women are unknowingly entering into something that can cause serious injuries.

www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/11/rise-in-popularity-of-anal-sex-has-led-to-health-problems-for-women

Don't give advice on how to do it more safety if women choose to? I think that's exactly what should be said. Use lube, go slow. Would you rather they have ripped anuses?

Part of the issue is that often you're dating someone you met online that none of your friends or family knows, may not even be from your local area and if they don't behave well with regard to consent/boundaries, they can ghost you and there are no consequences. You end up with the anonymisation of sex.

Shouldn't idealise the past though, it certainly wasn't better, plenty of anonymous sex available with women not deemed worthy of respect in the past.

I’m so sorry to read this……how can men think this is okay? It’s terrifying.

I have tried anal once with an ex-partner and it was me who instigated it because I was curious. As we were doing it I didn’t feel pleasure or pain….it was strange, but shamefully I did find myself thinking, “I bet he thinks I’m so good in bed because I’m letting him do this.”

We never did it again and I’ve never done it again since (it was about 14 years ago).

My husband jokes about it every now and then but he knows it’s a no-go area and that it’s not going to happen. When we have discussed it he can’t really articulate why it’s a ‘thing’ for men but in a round-a-bout way he does imply it’s just something “naughty” to do and as though it’s a medal of honour if a man can find a woman who will have anal sex with him.

I was reading a thread the other day about a woman who’d had anal sex with a partner and how she was embarrassed as he’d got poo on him and how she had leaked poo and that there was poo residue in her underwear and all I could think was, “How is this sexy?!”

I’m sure there are a lot of women who do genuinely enjoy it but I also believe a huge majority of women do it to please their partner or to be seen as “cool”, and yes I do believe it has become normalised now.

The fact we have reached a point in time where women feel pressured to have a penis inside their rectum, potentially causing lots of injuries, just so she isn’t seen as “boring” is absolutely terrifying.

@ladymaiasaura The actual article in the BMJ is very short and doesn't provide really any evidence to back that up. I am not saying it is or isn't true but the comments being quoted are based on the anecdotal experience of the two authors (who are both doctors working primarily and perhaps exclusively with female patients) and not on research. They cite one article to back up teir view but that article doesn't really reach the conclusions they are presenting about differences between men and women when it comes to anal sex. Maybe there is more research out there to support their personal opinions based on their professional practice but they didn't cite them in the BMJ article that the quotes are taken from.
www.bmj.com/content/378/bmj.o1975

The fact that women are suffering physical trauma and fecal incontinence from this is sad.

Anuses are not designed for such activities-
especially not without copious amounts of lube and hopefully a condom.

I’ve hated anal and loved it. It all depends on the knowledge level of the guy and the amount of time spent in preparation. With the right precautions, it isn’t dangerous health-wise and can feel amazing.

But go in dry or without knowing what you’re doing, or double dipping, and you’re in trouble. Like absolutely anything sex-wise, the more you research, the better it will be. Oh, and obviously, practice makes perfect 😁

Apparently it feels tighter . Plus they don't have the worry of getting a woman pregnant. Selfish reasons

@gnilliwdog the article is scaremongering and not fact. It’s been a perfectly normal part of men’s and wine’s sex lives for hundreds of years. If women have explained to you how they’ve made it work for them then that’s a positive. You don’t have to to try it. It’s not gaslighting 🤦🏼‍♀️ Your ignorance is astounding. Grow up.

I agree @LaughingCat 👌🏻

Oh, and I’ve always been told by my male partners that they love it, not because it’s naughty, but because the sphincter muscle is so much tighter and more responsive…leads to a helluva more intense orgasm for them.

I've masturbated on my own with anal stimulation as it gave a better stronger orgasm. I don't get how that means I've been brainwashed by men 🤣🤣. In fact I have to ask my OH for anal he would never do it unless I ask it's not his favourite thing.

Friend did the same to get her partner back . He ditched her then bragged about it . She had to sit on a rubber ring for ages . Just hearing that made me squirm

You're so cool.

So someone shouldn't do something they find sexually pleasurable because other women might get pressured ? I'm definitely not a cool girl but what goes on in other people's bedrooms isn't our business unless there's force involved.

@Miffee how's the view up there?

In fact I have to ask my OH for anal he would never do it unless I ask it's not his favourite thing.

Maybe you should stop asking your OH to do sexual acts that he clearly doesn’t want to.

How can you get pleasure from something when you know it’s something your OH doesn’t want to do?

As I said earlier to the last poster flexing about shoving things up her arse. You do whatever you want.

Your tone certainly implies you think you're special.

If you don't want to be a cool girl don't act like one.

Nah, it's been seen as a niche practice until relatively recently. It's pretty obvious that porn is making it more mainstream. I don't believe that's a good thing as it puts pressure on young girls to do something that most of them don't want, and that can be damaging to their health.

Only a tiny minority of women would have been doing anal 100 years ago.

Depressing.

He doesn't dislike it's just not his favourite activity.

And only does it because you ask.

No one is “flexing”. Stop fucking shaming women because we are saying we enjoy anal. Not through any pressure or control but because it actually feels really good!! (Granted, not to everyone) to each their own. No one is bragging, we are telling our side of how we find anal. If that’s disgusting to you I don’t give a flying fuck. You do you love. I’ll keeping having anal and enjoying it. No shame felt at all!

Well giving blow jobs isn't my favourite but I do it because my OH enjoys it and I enjoy giving him pleasure.

Thanks for the answer, @Rooroobear

Also, no one is trying h to sound like a cool girl!! Ffs grow up. The pp was saying she likes anal masterbation, big bloody whoop! She’s not saying it to sound special or cool. Maybe she’s very comfortable talking about sex which we are all able to do. It’s not being prude. I love dp and I’m happy to say that…..I’m not special or cool it’s my taste!!