Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

[Doyoumind]

Apart from all the violence etc porn portrays as normal, anal sex is definitely treated as an everyday thing that women enjoy. I don't personally. I know some women claim they do but I've certainly known men who pressure for it and I'm guessing it's only got worse in the years since I was dating.

This article suggests women are unknowingly entering into something that can cause serious injuries.

www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/11/rise-in-popularity-of-anal-sex-has-led-to-health-problems-for-women

No one has said those saying it's risky are hurting or shaming anyone

Those saying the women who engage in anal sex are disgusting, pick me's or misogynists definitely are.

It's not poor form to point out people, such as yourself, who seem unable to understand what is written

I've seen you do it many times across multiple threads - it's quite strange really

Maybe I've missed it but I haven't seen anyone post that girls who have had anal are disgusting. I certainly don't agree with that.

Yep go back. Not exactly those words .

I just find these cries of "we're being shamed" on an anonymous internet forum a bit silly, when the far bigger issue is the normalisation of a harmful act, and the pressure girls are under to perform it against their will.

Does anyone actually disagree with that bigger issue?

I think shaming is a useful tool when dealing with people who want to push back the sexual boundaries of children, the type of people I consider @PollyRockets to be given her posts. She in turn tries to shame me for not be open to sexual concepts and makes women feel that if they don't normalise anal in an open-minded way that they are also baddies.

Tis a big shamefest. I care not. It's part of working things through.

@excitingusername at least your more awful comments have now been removed by MNHQ

I don't care either way as long as you're washing your arse do whatever the fuck you like with it.

I do take exception at you complaining about shaming people who like bum sex when you then go on to ridicule others for being "vanilla"

It works both ways Polly

*I think shaming is a useful tool when dealing with people who want to push back the sexual boundaries of children, the type of people I consider @PollyRockets to be given her posts. She in turn tries to shame me for not be open to sexual concepts and makes women feel that if they don't normalise anal in an open-minded way that they are also baddies.

Tis a big shamefest. I care not. It's part of working things through.*

Well that sounds very virtuous.

When actually you're just a hair dryer of abuse for anyone that doesn't toe your line. You couldn't make it up.

The bigger issue is young girls being made to feel 'uptight' and not cool for not wanting to do this and not having lived enough or read enough to understand the risks involved . I'm old enough and wise enough and have lived enough to tell someone to totally go and do one- even if it was my husband.

Really I don't care if people feel hurt that I'm pointing out their sexual practices are risky.
Hurt feelings are not as much of an issue as physical damage.

There is no NEED to shame anyone, though. It doesn't make anyone listen to you, least of all teenage girls, the topic of discussion. I mean, what, is it okay to shame girls having unprotected sex because that's risky too? Call them names ? I don't think anyone should be shaming, criticising yes, not resorting to juvenile insults for the sake of it.

No I don’t, but I think messaging anal as something that “many people enjoy.” creates an expectation that they will be doing anal- I.e. it erodes the boundaries /delegitimises those who want to say No (is a full sentence.)

The fact that you message anal to your daughters as something they ought to at least try, regardless of the fact it might be painful or damaging to them is abusive, because you are seeking to diminish their capacity to say no to those men who feel entitled to anal regardless of anything else.

And you’re too wrapped up in how cool you are to even see it.

Why don’t you ask them whether they think they are entitled to give a non-negotiable No to Anal, and then ask yourself why they feel they have to do anal even if they don’t want to?

Do you know that if here is a while industry based around masturbation toys? Anne Summers, Love Honey etc. Are you serious that you print know people use toys?

It's always the same in threads like this isn't it? People will go to great lengths to defend their many kinks. They'll tell you that they love anal sex, that they love deep-throating, that they love it when men cum on their faces, that they love choking.

All the while ignoring the main problem where such acts are now being normalised and seen as BASELINE by many many men out there.

Do you know that a ridiculous number of my peers (just graduated from uni a few years ago) now think it's controlling to not want a partner who watches porn casually throughout the day? Do you know that an increasingly vocal subset of people now believe that not wanting to try out kinks, or even worse, not wanting to go into sex work if you need money a sign of you holding on to puritanical culture, as they put it?

Personal preference is great and all. Creating an environment where such things are normalised? Not so much.

👏

@FreudayNight who said I tell my children that at all?

Never said they should give it a go

Maybe you can stop making things up to get annoyed about

This thread is just awful.

Nothing sensible or helpful has been written and discussed. There's just abuse towards each other with people desperate to be 'right'.

Shame on you all, if this is how women treat each other then it's no wonder womens rights are so easily run roughshod all over.

Stupidly I thought advocating for women and being a feminist meant understanding the basic concept that each woman is an individual with their own lived experiences, values and beliefs. Instead this thread is showing some women trying to shout others down when their beliefs are not congruent with their thinking. It's almost as if they are trying to claw each others power to self-govern away, which sounds very familiar.

Well elsewhere on here WHO recommend talking to four year olds about the pleasure of masturbation. She did provide a link. I give up

@TheWeeDonkey

Who is ridiculing anyone who is vanilla?

I'm pretty vanilla myself, and damn proud of it.

I know what I like and what I don't. I don't even enjoy receiving oral sex. Which many women do.

*The fact that you message anal to your daughters as something they ought to at least try, regardless of the fact it might be painful or damaging to them is abusive, because you are seeking to diminish their capacity to say no to those men who feel entitled to anal regardless of anything else.

And you’re too wrapped up in how cool you are to even see it.

Why don’t you ask them whether they think they are entitled to give a non-negotiable No to Anal, and then ask yourself why they feel they have to do anal even if they don’t want to?*

You what???

What thread are you reading?? @FreudayNight

God alive. It's impossible to even discuss this isn't it.

I'm probably very similar age to you, and think you're right here. What you said about porn is so true. Because of my age, I was more shocked that this isn't the norm.

It's not right that people should be ridiculed if they like something and people like that are disingenuous dicks. But you make a good argument here.

Tbh there was a bit of a discussion going on earlier.

It's back to me me me.

What I like what I don't like.

And posters are claiming to advocate for young women dealing with sex in a rampant porn on the phone culture???

Bull. It's all about yourself.

Well that’s probably because a lot of 4 year olds do technically masturbate as they like to touch their genitals and they do feel some kind of pleasure from it. It is obviously a very innocent behaviour but it still exists. There is a name for it (I work in health care and have come across cases of it, especially in young girls) but I can’t recall it off the top of my head.

I have spoke to my sons about touching themselves, as they do it all the time and my 8 year old does get erections, and my education is just that it is fine to touch himself and that it does feel nice but it’s a private thing and not something to do in front of other people.

This is very sad to hear but I’m not surprised. What all these practices have in common(coming on face choking etc) is that they are there to degrade women. Yes there are some women who enjoy anal sex and have not been pressured into it and good for those people who have just said No not for me, but not everyone has that confidence. It is rarely a woman putting pressure on a man to perform sexual acts that may cause him physical harm let’s face it. The vast majority of Porn is misogynistic there are a few women out there making porn for women, Anna Span etc but not many. Porn was always about magazines films etc but it’s so easily available and as someone else said it’s getting more extreme so that it keeps people watching and at the end of the day it’s about making money. This post illustrates that it’s just expected of young women now and that’s not a good thing. Men are not subject to the same sexual expectations. I wonder if there is any link between the rise in this sort of porn and the more rights women have now compared to 30 years ago.

Because of my age, I was more shocked that this isn't the norm.

Yeah, me too. I was a bit of a late bloomer and most of my first sexual experiences involved anal. It's just seen as something you do. Same as all the other stuff I listed. Sadly aside from MN and a few other women-dominated spaces on the internet it is seen as the norm. It's not much better IRL too.

Back in the day you were expected to lie back and think of England when men did whatever they wanted. You were a virgin before marriage so had zero expectations. My mother told me it was something to be endured

Now we're educated about mutual pleasure I think some men can't forgive us for that.

I remember an article years ago the woman didn't get pregnant her husband said it was her fault. She paid for a visit to Harley Street where after a chat and examination it was determined she was still a virgin. It transpired he was ejaculatihg outside her body

Sadly I think you’re right