Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

[Doyoumind]

Apart from all the violence etc porn portrays as normal, anal sex is definitely treated as an everyday thing that women enjoy. I don't personally. I know some women claim they do but I've certainly known men who pressure for it and I'm guessing it's only got worse in the years since I was dating.

This article suggests women are unknowingly entering into something that can cause serious injuries.

www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/11/rise-in-popularity-of-anal-sex-has-led-to-health-problems-for-women

I was not telling her to go do it for goodness sake.

I was telling her not to be pressured into having anal sex.

@WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps

How do you know that 100% of the women you know don’t have or haven’t had anal sex?

There is sexual incompatibly at play here, some people do have different tastes and shouldn't be told they are freak if they want different types of sex but aren't pressuring anyone. I wouldn't personally be happy if the man I was with wanted gentle sex in one position all the time. I also wouldn't be happy if a man started suggesting swinging and threesomes.

People are sometimes sexually incompatible instead of acknowledging that people try to shame instead.

What’s so bad is that sex shouldn’t hurt at all, and it positions anal as something that you have to at least try. It seeks to reject/erode the boundaries of those who want to say no and end the discussion.

Seeking to reject boundaries = Grooming.

I'm being told off by both 'sides' 😀

I wasn't scaring her at all as I said above

I've got one poster saying I'm scaring her and the other that seems to be implying that I was encouraging her

Good lord

Yes it can hurt, yes it can cause damage, if you want to do it here is how you can mitigate some of the risks. What's so bad about that?

ODFOD

Of course it's scaring them if you're only presenting the worst case scenario for anything it can be seen as using scare tactics

Missed this...

Why do people make stuff up

I'm actually really very cross about the childbirth tears thing

Having bad tears was mentally extremely distressing for me. I do still have some consequences from that. I also have two wonderful children and the damage to my body was a worthwhile consequence.

I was also extremely shocked as I had no idea those kinds of tears happen - it's very much glossed over as a possible consequence of birth. But if I had known I'd still choose to have babies.

If I'd sustained the same damage by giving a man an orgasm/getting one myself, it wouldn't be worthwhile no matter how fun it was at the time

I think most women would probably make the same choice if they were informed about the damage anal can do

Instead you are advocating telling them to do it safely - not possible. Be honest. Tell teenagers facts: most girls will find it painful, most boys won't enjoy it that much. Most adults don't choose it to be part of their sex lives. It carries risks of permanent damage.

Yes it can hurt, yes it can cause damage, if you want to do it here is how you can mitigate some of the risks

Legitimising the idea to children that being hurt or physically damaged/disabled during sex is fucking reprehensible. And when you talk of mitigating actually your setting young women up for victim blaming.

Truly reprehensible.

Oh my mother did scare me (thank god) she was a nurse and saw many anal injuries even back in the day when it wasn’t so normalised. Always ahead of the time though my mum and knew the way things were heading.

I’ve always had fab sex and certainly not vanilla but as for taking it up the arse? Sweet lord no. Fuck that shit. Quite literally.

Thank you

This is much more in line with the current government sra guidance.
However, I don't think those clamouring for education and complaining about shaming mean this when they say education.
They mean arming children with lube and saying lots of people do it.
They might concede there are risks but as can be seen on this thread they are very keen to minimise the risks of pretend it can be made risk free.

No, I get what you were doing. I still think it is a very sad scenario where a young girl has to be reduced to tears while one insists she listens to degrading and revolting sexual concepts for the sake of her sex ed to be not so great because we have culturally normalised the male need to bugger. My own conversations about these things with my child have been minimal/non-explicit and gradual though admittedly dealing with sexually explicit culture is difficult.

Ignore them, you're totally right to have the conversation with your DD and let her know it's ok to have boundaries.

I'm in my 20s and a fair few of my friends have completely gone off men because of what's expected as part of sex and relationships these days. Anal, deep-throating, cumming on your face, choking. So many men will not even ask before attempting them on you as they see it as part and parcel of regular sex.

I have also seen so many relationships disintegrate because the man is a porn addict who can only get off when watching porn. I don't know what the solution is and I fear it's only going to get worse.

I agree. Education by some posters seems to mean presenting the concept as part of a normal sex life. I object to people saying children should know the 'benefits' too. There is no way this sort of language is not partisan and manipulative.

Hardly

Many women actively enjoy anal sex

If my daughters are in that group I'd rather them know how to do so safely

Thank you direction

There was no detail, just telling her about boundaries etc

I was about to say the same. I don't believe @PollyRockets is a woman, and also find their claim they never have anal sex very odd, as they have been banging on for ages about how it's normal and people should be doing it. Weird.

Oh give over. You haven't read the thread.

Why don't you understand that for some women the enjoyment from anal sex is enough to warrant the small risks to their health.

Some people don't find their children worth the lifelong damage child birth can cause

I think many on this thread could do with reminding not everyone thinks the same way as you. Not everyone has the same priorities, passions and pleasure spots.

There are people out there who love free diving, doing dangerous manoeuvres in flight, travelling to countries that are dangerous.

People do their own risk vs reward analysis

The key for that to be done properly is balanced and factual information to help them make those decisions.

People on this thread who enjoy anal sex, do so knowing there is a risk to their health. That risk is worth it for them.

I actively chose to have C-sections with all my children as nothing is worth being torn front to back.

Well we will have to agree to disagree. Thank God there are plenty of other women to help build your daughters’ boundaries from those that would be complicit in them being abused.

Do you think only telling children

Don't have children, you'll get ripped from your front to your back, it hurts and most women never fully control their bladders ever again

Is scaring them?

As that's what that poster was doing

Only presenting the negatives of a situation

What would be responsible is telling children

Childbirth carries many risks, such as tearing, doing X exercises and delivering in Y position can help reduce this risk. As does pushing for a C section if you are at risk of a very large baby and overdue requiring an induction. Many people find children worth the pain they go through, some don't.

@FreudayNight do you think anyone who has anal sex is being abused?

Such strange people on here sometimes

@WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps where have I said people should be doing it?

I've tried it, twice. First time felt nothing, second time hurt

Never again.

So I don't 'have' anal sex

I'm saying people should be educated as if they chose to have anal sex there are things that need to be done to make it less harmful.

But nah of course, I'm writing this whilst plaiting my dick hairs on the toilet

@RufusthefIoraImissingreindeer I'll be doing exactly the same with mine, you have to establish the principle they can talk to you about anything because everything comes up, and a quick look on cosmopolitan.com shows how much things have changed...

This article on whether consent is always meaningful in young girls is good:

jezebel.com/nervous-game-1849401303