Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

[Doyoumind]

Apart from all the violence etc porn portrays as normal, anal sex is definitely treated as an everyday thing that women enjoy. I don't personally. I know some women claim they do but I've certainly known men who pressure for it and I'm guessing it's only got worse in the years since I was dating.

This article suggests women are unknowingly entering into something that can cause serious injuries.

www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/11/rise-in-popularity-of-anal-sex-has-led-to-health-problems-for-women

Surely only an ignorant male or a woman who hasn't given birth would think tears through childbirth are equivalent to tears through anal.

IKR

Those gained through child birth are so, so much worse

And just as preventable

There is a reason 3rd and 4th degree tears are more common here than in other western countries

Usually correlates with the countries that don't use forceps

That's fair enough. When I was at school, people did the rubber challenge where you rub the skin off your hand with a rubber. We had an assembly about it. In no way was it promoted but we were 'educated' about why we shouldn't do it. Nobody did it after that. Of course, anal sex and assaults are never going to be dealt with so easily.

My point is, not wanting it advocated is one thing. The teachers at my school didn't tell us to use oil or rotate hands. But anyone saying it shouldn't even be spoken about or else you're a groomer are not thinking straight.

We discussed SA at school too. Nobody is advocating for it by mentioning it.

Not all gay men do anal

Fucking hell.

It's not about scaring kids. It's about protecting them and letting them know it's ok to have boundaries and assert them, without feeling like they're 'frigid' or 'boring.'

By the way nobody is shaming you. People are rightly concerned about the impact of a niche practice becoming an expectation because of porn, and the pressures on young girls to do something that can be physically damaging.

I personally think there should be more education about risks of childbirth including incontinence. How to strengthen the pelvic floor and what activities might cause problems.

@DirectionToPerfection

Of course it's scaring them if you're only presenting the worst case scenario for anything it can be seen as using scare tactics

And did you miss the many posters claiming those who have anal sex are stupid, pick me's, disgusting, dirty?

I don't even have anal sex

But am not as bigoted as many on here to think those that do are the devil incarnate

Wtf is this
Because men like kink more women should be up for it or sex isn't mutually enjoyable because it's boring for the poor old man.

Women who like vanilla can expect no sex?

Sex should be about connection, surely "mutual enjoyment" means both partners enjoy it. Not necessatily both partners get all their fantasies met.

The way you write this is as if sex is some kind of solo enjoyment taken from your partner. Thats quite a sad and distorted view of love - I find it repugnant and hope that's not what you teach your children.

Also vanilla =/= missionary. That's just being deliberately offensive

Focus on the damaging influence of porn and it's misogyny in school education. Campaign against damaging porn, like smoking - make it expensive and difficult to access and stigmatise it's use. Create support groups for women who have been damaged by men who use porn. Campaign for public awareness advertising of the risks to women's health. Campaign for advertising around positive sexuality and relationships and what this looks like regarding mutual respect and care. The media and tech could be used positively to create positive messages rather than misogyny.

@AdamRyan it's called a factual analysis of the issue this woman and probably many others are facing

Not sure if you're struggling to read some of these posts properly but I wasn't saying it's a good thing that men like kink therefore women with more boring sexual tastes are left aside.

It's just natural when the majority of kinks are more pleasurable and less dangerous for men than women.

If they drive pleasure from 100 different sexual practices and women drive pleasure from 10 there is a huge mismatch in what would be mutually enjoyable for both parties.

Fully agree with this AdamRyan

@sunglassesonthetable I suppose I also am challenging the idea that something is mainstream because a lot of men seem to want to do it. If a lot of women don't want to do it it isn't really mainstream because women are half the population.

PollyRockets

Why are you repeatedly claiming that posters who don't agree with you are struggling?

1/3 of childbirth in the UK are by caesarean section. This leaves 2/3 with vaginal births. Out of these, 80% of first-time mothers tear. For most women, these tears are minor and heal quickly. The majority of women will have a normal vaginal birth after a 3rd or 4th degree tear. Epidurals increase the risk of tearing. A midwife and obstetrician is at hand to deal with any medical needs caused by tearing. Birthing tears occur either never, once or maybe twice in a woman's lifetime and she usually has a squishy baby at the end to make it all worth it.

Not quite comparable to the injuries caused by anal sex.

Ignore them rufus there's no way you have been inappropriate with your DD

25% of women engage in anal sex? Where did you obtain this 'fact?'

Coz right now 100% of women I know do not!

I am guessing you got this 'fact' from some survey in some low-grade magazine. No way is this actual real fact. So stop continually posting this like it IS.

Exactly. @PollyRockets is such a bizarre poster. Can't STAND it that many people don't agree with her farcical bluster and made up 'facts.' I think she needs to go for a lie down actually.

Coz right now 100% of women I know do not!

I need to see your survey results on this. What sample size of women did you ask? Can someone clarify if this is an obscure issue or not?

@liloandstench Yes, there may be a place for explaining the risks to older children, 16+. I object more to the idea of instructing them how to do it more safely. I think women who really enjoy this activity should create their own advisory and support groups, accessible to 16+. Part of their responsibilities could include ensuring their service users are genuinely participating in anal sex, rather than being coerced.

Don't talk shit
I've had 2x 3rd degree tears (e.g. torn bumhole) from babies. The only way to avoid the first was not to have babies. The only ways to avoid the second would have been ELCS or no babies

Having bumsex is not like having babies. But definitely, avoid tears by not having bumsex.

Honestly. Are you female? This is so tone deaf as to be unbelievable

Therefore doing it missionary with you wouldn't be mutually enjoyable for them

Vanilla just means I don’t want anal, to be choked and all the other acts “normalised” now. It doesn’t mean just the missionary position. if you think it does then you are showing your ignorance. There are lots of other, non harmful, ways for both parties to enjoy sex. But men don’t want that anymore. They want the violence, they want to bang away like a pneumatic drill with no thought for the woman’s pleasure. These men want to do things “to” me, not with me.

Honestly. Are you female? This is so tone deaf as to be unbelievable
^This 100%

That sounds like a good idea. I can't see many opposing that.

The casual ageism on this thread is disgusting.

To the poster that keeps doing it, just how young are you if you've got kids that are old enough to be watching documentaries about fetishes with you?

I'm 42, is that young enough to have an opinion, or am I to be written off the same way?

You've got a cheek calling other people bigots.

I was about to say the same. I don't believe @PollyRockets is a woman, and also find their claim they never have anal sex very odd, as they have been banging on for ages about how it's normal and people should be doing it. Weird.