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Original poster

Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

890 replies

Doyoumind · 12/08/2022 10:01

Apart from all the violence etc porn portrays as normal, anal sex is definitely treated as an everyday thing that women enjoy. I don't personally. I know some women claim they do but I've certainly known men who pressure for it and I'm guessing it's only got worse in the years since I was dating.

This article suggests women are unknowingly entering into something that can cause serious injuries.

www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/11/rise-in-popularity-of-anal-sex-has-led-to-health-problems-for-women

OP posts:
sunglassesonthetable · 12/08/2022 23:23

Those who argue anal is great and women who don't like it are vanilla, are upholding a system where men feel they can take it. It's really not OK

That's not been argued on this thread though.

But some posters do like anal.

Mooshamoo · 12/08/2022 23:23

I have to say I think there is a good side to anal. It can be very intimate. You are letting him into another part of your body. If it's some carefully and respect it can be great. I really enjoyed it.

Like any sex act it can be open to abuse. I did it with a lovely man. I definitely wouldn't do it with an asshole, who might just ram it up there in one thrust and hurt me.

But when it is done nicely, it is actually lovely

AdamRyan · 12/08/2022 23:25

Crikeyalmighty · 12/08/2022 23:22

I can't help wondering if I've gone off sex for last 5 years post menopause partly through reading too many threads like this!! Ok I'm 60 and not that bothered- but where's the romance, where's the stroking someone's hair, it all seems horribly mechanical , extremely unromantic and generally quite gross - as I said earlier when it gets to normalising stuff that requires you to'prepare' or 'psych yourself up' - then to be honest 'I'm out' !!!

Also 👏
Why is "vanilla" sex that is about connection, and both parties enjoy, less valid than painful sex acts?

sunglassesonthetable · 12/08/2022 23:26

Why is "vanilla" sex that is about connection, and both parties enjoy, less valid than painful sex acts?

Who even says that?

excitingusername · 12/08/2022 23:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

sunglassesonthetable · 12/08/2022 23:28

Ok groomer.

🙄 grow up

TullyApplebottom · 12/08/2022 23:31

SavoirFlair · 12/08/2022 11:29

So in short it’s not “porn culture” that has led to the injuries

Porn culture has led to statistically more men attempting an act they don’t understand and without any prep

and (some!!) women then try and accommodate without understanding how they can derive pleasure and crucially it’s not something you can just do as a cold start!

jesus. Who is interested in sex acts that you have to prepare for mentally and physically like this?
just weird. It’s not meant to be the olympics for fucks sake.

excitingusername · 12/08/2022 23:31

A lot of butthurt on here tonight from a particular crowd. I wonder why 😂

YourWinter · 12/08/2022 23:33

It’s an exit, not an entrance. My refusal was certainly a factor in ex-H’s decision to opt out of our marriage. Good riddance.

Mooshamoo · 12/08/2022 23:33

Did anyone else enjoy anal? I thought it felt great, didn't feel any pain.

excitingusername · 12/08/2022 23:35

Mooshamoo · 12/08/2022 23:33

Did anyone else enjoy anal? I thought it felt great, didn't feel any pain.

Dude why don't you make your way through the threads of people defending and shrieking about their pleasure in shoving things up there and how they want to advocate it (and do) to their children. You're among friends.

TullyApplebottom · 12/08/2022 23:36

Mooshamoo · 12/08/2022 23:14

I only ever did anal once. I have to say, I actually really enjoyed it. It was like an itch I didn't know I needed scratching. It's a different situation. He was a nice man. I don't think I would do it with everyone as there are risks of injury. But if it was a with a man I really trusted, I would do it again

Again, bizarre. How does trusting a man make the risk of harm less?
”oh, I really trust you, so I’ll just jump off this cliff onto a spike. You’re a nice bloke so it’ll be fine.”

Tillsforthrills · 12/08/2022 23:38

11GrumpsaGrumping · 12/08/2022 11:51

@TeaStory also, could you clarify, you do think it was good that anal sex was illegal for heterosexual couples? If so, why?

Let it go will you?

Some people view it as disgusting and they’re entitled to. The fact that it’s so dangerous to females is just a part of why people don’t like it.

sunglassesonthetable · 12/08/2022 23:42

Dude why don't you make your way through the threads of people defending and shrieking about their pleasure in shoving things up there and how they want to advocate it (and do) to their children. You're among friends.

There's definitely shrieking on here.

Mooshamoo · 12/08/2022 23:43

TullyApplebottom · 12/08/2022 23:36

Again, bizarre. How does trusting a man make the risk of harm less?
”oh, I really trust you, so I’ll just jump off this cliff onto a spike. You’re a nice bloke so it’ll be fine.”

Show quote history

What? You know plenty of women have anal sex without ever getting injured, right?

So it's not comparable. Jumping on a spike causes injury. Anal sex can be done without causing any injury.

Sometimes I think people who haven't had anal sex, maybe dont know what they are talking about

excitingusername · 12/08/2022 23:43

@Mooshamoo Mostly the back passage advocates are concerned with is that they feel no shame or are reminded of any repercussion for their activities. They care not about any significant medical or societal consequences - just they don't want their feelings to be ones of shame when they play around with fecal matter. Number 1 priority is freedom to do this particular thing. V important and also v important that they bring this joyous legacy to children.

But shame makes them very sad, so we have to be quiet about any issues.

FreudayNight · 12/08/2022 23:44

GoingOnce · 12/08/2022 22:55

The last thing we need is for women who do enjoy anal to feel ashamed of it

I really don’t think that is the last thing we need. Plenty more things would come after that in a pecking order of things I don’t want to happen to women.

I completely agree.

I certainly prioritize women who want to spread the message of how much love anal way below those who have been left disabled after being pressurised into unwanted sex acts because “you don’t know until you try it.”

Sorry/Not Sorry for telling girls that actually they can just say No-Fuck-Off-You-Porn-Addled-Grim-Thing.

sunglassesonthetable · 12/08/2022 23:46

*@Mooshamoo Mostly the back passage advocates are concerned with is that they feel no shame or are reminded of any repercussion for their activities. They care not about any significant medical or societal consequences - just they don't want their feelings to be ones of shame when they play around with fecal matter. Number 1 priority is freedom to do this particular thing. V important and also v important that they bring this joyous legacy to children.

But shame makes them very sad, so we have to be quiet about any issues.*

You don't have talk some shite.

excitingusername · 12/08/2022 23:48

sunglassesonthetable · 12/08/2022 23:46

*@Mooshamoo Mostly the back passage advocates are concerned with is that they feel no shame or are reminded of any repercussion for their activities. They care not about any significant medical or societal consequences - just they don't want their feelings to be ones of shame when they play around with fecal matter. Number 1 priority is freedom to do this particular thing. V important and also v important that they bring this joyous legacy to children.

But shame makes them very sad, so we have to be quiet about any issues.*

You don't have talk some shite.

😂😂Well, the topic requires it surely?

StanleyBostitch · 12/08/2022 23:50

Pinkspice · 12/08/2022 16:20

I really don't give a damn about the feelings of people who want to have anal sex. No one is stopping them and they can just get on with it, frankly.

I'm much more concerned about young women being coerced into things. Once something becomes mainstream, like no pubic hair on women due to porn, it begins much harder to resist it. I absolutely loathe porn because of this tendency for a crossover to people's normal sex lives. Something that used to be an option, becomes a requirement.

And those people who deny this and bleat about their hurt feels are just being disingenuous in the extreme.

This ^^

No one cares if you enjoy anal. The issue is that it's become normalised and now young girls are feeling pressured into doing it and are sustained life altering injuries as a result. People banging on about lube and taking it slowly are missing the point...clearly young people AREN'T using lube and/or taking it slowly because it's become normalised and they think the same rules apply as vaginal sex. In addition, girls cannot provide fully informed consent if they do not know about AND completely understand the risks. The 'it won't happen to me' mentality of the young is fed by the fact that no one is talking about the fact that it did happen to them and their lives will never be the same.

Go on and enjoy your anal but stop using your narrow experience to minimise this issue.

MorganKitten · 12/08/2022 23:55

HRTQueen · 12/08/2022 22:41

I’m well aware that people have had anal sex for as long as they have had sex

but anal sex is a sex act it’s not straightforward sex between a man and a woman and many women will not feel comfortable with it as it can be painful (regardless of lube)

it shouldn’t be considered as sex it’s a sex act that can be very painful and can be dangerous

as many sex acts which young women are often being coerced into going along with because to be vanilla is boring they are told they are not wild or adventurous enough and when we are young we are impressionable and easily manipulated

Vaginal sex and oral sex can also be a a sex act that can be very painful and can be dangerous… what’s needed is knowledge and awareness that while different people enjoy different thing, it’s not for others but give them the knowledge of how to do these things safety. Not shame them for being curious or not talk about it so they don’t know they can say no.

sunglassesonthetable · 12/08/2022 23:58

Go on and enjoy your anal but stop using your narrow experience to minimise this issue.

God alive you're so busy frothing about your dislike of anal sex ( fair enough - you do you ) that you haven't noticed that the 'issue' of hasn't been minimised.

Education has been scorned as normalising
Someone who talks about the issue with her kids is 'a groomer '

I'm not sure what has been deemed appropriate in the face of the porn tsunami we face - let's shame anal away is what I get
from this thread

StanleyBostitch · 13/08/2022 00:06

sunglassesonthetable · 12/08/2022 23:58

Go on and enjoy your anal but stop using your narrow experience to minimise this issue.

God alive you're so busy frothing about your dislike of anal sex ( fair enough - you do you ) that you haven't noticed that the 'issue' of hasn't been minimised.

Education has been scorned as normalising
Someone who talks about the issue with her kids is 'a groomer '

I'm not sure what has been deemed appropriate in the face of the porn tsunami we face - let's shame anal away is what I get
from this thread

That's my comment. Where have I frothed?

gnilliwdog · 13/08/2022 00:11

I suppose on this thread some women have been coerced into anal sex, others raped. We are discussing an article that posits physical damage as a result of this act. Also the way so many men seem conditioned by porn to think this is a reasonable sexual demand and the pressure that puts on women. Also there are women on this thread who found the demand for anal went hand in hand with rough sex and other abusive behaviours by men. Then some people comment that they enjoy it and we all need to learn how it can be done more safely, or just say no. I suppose it feels to me that these women are adding to the problem, trivialising other women's trauma. I don't want to shame anyone, though.

HRTQueen · 13/08/2022 00:12

Again about the shaming anal is far from shamed now why are you making out it is

there is a far bigger issue and that is women being physically harmed because they are being coerced into having anal sex

the anus does not self lubricate the vagina does. Oral sex may not always be pleasurable but unless someone is deliberately being aggressive ie. shoving their dick far down into their partners mouth it’s not likely to cause harm (but yes sti’s can be passed on)

and again I do feel a man should be shamed if he wants to have rough anal sex with their partner lube or no lube and potential harm her

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