Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

[Doyoumind]

Apart from all the violence etc porn portrays as normal, anal sex is definitely treated as an everyday thing that women enjoy. I don't personally. I know some women claim they do but I've certainly known men who pressure for it and I'm guessing it's only got worse in the years since I was dating.

This article suggests women are unknowingly entering into something that can cause serious injuries.

www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/11/rise-in-popularity-of-anal-sex-has-led-to-health-problems-for-women

@Miffee

You think watching a show rated 15 with children old enough is an issue?

Considering you're someone who advocates for women being shamed by their sexual preferences and that you think scaring children is how to get them not to do something I'm glad views such as yours are dying out.

Thankfully children these days get the education your poor classmates didn't receive

I’m well aware that people have had anal sex for as long as they have had sex

but anal sex is a sex act it’s not straightforward sex between a man and a woman and many women will not feel comfortable with it as it can be painful (regardless of lube)

it shouldn’t be considered as sex it’s a sex act that can be very painful and can be dangerous

as many sex acts which young women are often being coerced into going along with because to be vanilla is boring they are told they are not wild or adventurous enough and when we are young we are impressionable and easily manipulated

I think you're disgusting and I have no interest in anything you have to say on this or any other subject.

I doubt those on your side of the debate are pleased with your input so I will do them a favour and stop engaging with you.

@excitingusername if you read any of my posts you would have seen that the hill I am dying on, so to speak, is accepting that some people do enjoy anal but that regardless, we need to ensure both you f women and young men are educated about risks, safety, communication, consent, and that we also need to use education and open discussions to counteract the damage caused by porn.

In a way it doesn't matter if I do or don't enjoy it, as that has become rather a red herring. I am comfortable in my own sexuality and am only concerned that the people saying it's disgusting, etc, shut down the opportunity for communication, which means that young people turn to porn... and the cycle continues.

Porn isn't going anywhere sadly so we need to do what we can to manage the damage caused, and the only way to do that is through education.

@Miffee

No actual answers so decide to flounce

Pretty transparent

Still waiting for you to tell me the name of the very successful campaign to stop a sexual practice based on fear btw.

@threetimesacharm - I’m so sorry. That is an awful experience.

I think emphasis on ongoing enthusiastic consent would be positive:

All sex should be discussed beforehand - surprise penetration is rape or sexual assault. Protection should be used to prevent pregnancy and STIs - until you settle on a stable monogamous partner this usually means condoms (though women may want to take additional birth control). It is also common to both have STI tests before deciding to stop condoms (to prevent transmission). All penetration can be painful - so use lubrication if needed and start slow. Keep checking if your partner is enjoying it - if there is no reply or they seem unsure or unhappy - stop immediately. Carrying on is rape or sexual assault. Sex has to be enjoyable for both people. It is fine to dislike certain things - no one should be pressured into doing something they don’t like.

greater care should be taken if engaging in anal sex because there is a higher risk of pain, infection and incontinence. Girls are more at risk because the urethra is closer to the anus and the pelvic floor is weaker.

Hence why people need to be educated

Not shamed

I'm sorry this happened to you. I do hope your body can recover.

@Luredbyapomegranate I am not sure the article is well sourced- I've emailed my
GUM consultant and will report back. My sense is on a quick review or other data is that both men and women have higher levels of foecal incontinence when they have anal sex versus those who don't... I need to spend some time looking at the research and taking into account all the data- it feels intuitively like there is some data being Mis-represented to scare monger, but I can't be sure yet until I research more thoroughly. As I work in the field I luckily have some experts I can ask directly.

What is absolutely accurate though, is the fact that porn leads to unrealistic expectations and unsafe practices, particularly around anal. This to me is the issue and all this chat around anal lovers and anal haters actually detracts from the issue- which really is around porn-influenced sexual practices that aren't safe or truly consensual in reality.

All sex should be discussed beforehand?

Goodness me

Have heard it all now. Shall make sure to schedule my sexual briefing with DH every evening we want at it - said no one ever

The last thing we need is for women who do enjoy anal to feel ashamed of it

I really don’t think that is the last thing we need. Plenty more things would come after that in a pecking order of things I don’t want to happen to women.

I don’t think anyone is saying do not educate

but to not shame a man who wants rough anal sexual with a women

I absolutely do feel he needs to be shamed but he won’t be will he

and let’s not pretend in this day and age anal sex is considered a shameful act it isn’t it’s quite the opposite it’s been normalised as part of sex and it shouldn’t be

@PollyRockets - yes of course. If you are in a monogamous long term relationship, you can discuss how you would like to initiate sexual activity and what cues may mean you’re not really into it at the moment. But way better to discuss things explicitly rather than assuming the other person is fine.

How romantic

I'm sure it will catch on, discussing every time you get down to it

@Miffee is definitely saying not to educate

Has said so in many different comments

It would even be better going back to when girls were taught it was disgusting and dirty

The good old days

Why do you feel the need to facilitate buggery for your children? What is it that makes this a priority in your mind?

When you're young sex is important but ultimately so is your health. Fecal incontinence is not something you'll be worried about now. But when you read the IBS threads the thought of wearing protection against soiling yourself is just horrifying to me.

Why do you feel the need to facilitate buggery for your children? What is it that makes this a priority in your mind?

OFS. Give it a rest. You sound like an idiot.

Reading this thread opened mouth at the shaming and abuse

don't educate you'll encourage it

it used to be dirty and disgusting = that's ok

You like anal = you think you're a cool girl

I only ever did anal once. I have to say, I actually really enjoyed it. It was like an itch I didn't know I needed scratching. It's a different situation. He was a nice man. I don't think I would do it with everyone as there are risks of injury. But if it was a with a man I really trusted, I would do it again

What is absolutely accurate though, is the fact that porn leads to unrealistic expectations and unsafe practices, particularly around anal. This to me is the issue
Agreed.

We need to educate the boys and men and refuse to accept the normalisation of painful and dangerous sexual acts

Exactly. Any education should be heavily geared towards the male about the the risks they are putting women at by expecting then to have anal sex. And it is an expectation these days.

Anal sex should not be classed as a ‘normal’ part of sex. It is a sex act that most men want (and expect) based on porn and an act that can cause damage to the woman. I doubt the men even consider that, let alone care. We’ve all heard the “Any hole is a goal” attitude. It’s usually just entitled men thinking they can do whatever they like to a woman’s body with absolutely no regard for how it may affect her.

It’s insane to think that it is the girls we need to educate so she can make sure she’s doing it in a way that might hurt her less.

@excitingusername

Another poster who thinks education = encouragement

Wonder what decade you hail from

What about the psychological impacts?
Bodies heal but that kind of breach of trust doesn't
Those who argue anal is great and women who don't like it are vanilla, are upholding a system where men feel they can take it. It's really not OK

I can't help wondering if I've gone off sex for last 5 years post menopause partly through reading too many threads like this!! Ok I'm 60 and not that bothered- but where's the romance, where's the stroking someone's hair, it all seems horribly mechanical , extremely unromantic and generally quite gross - as I said earlier when it gets to normalising stuff that requires you to'prepare' or 'psych yourself up' - then to be honest 'I'm out' !!!

👏👏