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Original poster

Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

890 replies

Doyoumind · 12/08/2022 10:01

Apart from all the violence etc porn portrays as normal, anal sex is definitely treated as an everyday thing that women enjoy. I don't personally. I know some women claim they do but I've certainly known men who pressure for it and I'm guessing it's only got worse in the years since I was dating.

This article suggests women are unknowingly entering into something that can cause serious injuries.

www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/11/rise-in-popularity-of-anal-sex-has-led-to-health-problems-for-women

OP posts:
PollyRockets · 12/08/2022 21:35

@Miffee

How is this giving up on girls

A portion of them will try anal and love it

Some won't

Some will be damaged from it

They need to know the risks to give informed consent

Currently you have lots of girls saying yes not knowing the risks

Educating on the risks and benefits will most likely end up with less girls having anal than there currently are

Babyroobs · 12/08/2022 21:38

This reply has been deleted

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Miffee · 12/08/2022 21:38

PollyRockets · 12/08/2022 21:35

@Miffee

How is this giving up on girls

A portion of them will try anal and love it

Some won't

Some will be damaged from it

They need to know the risks to give informed consent

Currently you have lots of girls saying yes not knowing the risks

Educating on the risks and benefits will most likely end up with less girls having anal than there currently are

Smokers are less likely to die from COVID. Shall we teach that?

DrShepsBall · 12/08/2022 21:38

@Miffee

Well at least you are consistent. I don't think there would be much time for maths and English if girls had to learn all about the various dangerous sex acts men may like to subject them to but maybe we could extend the school day.

Best comment on this thread. Thank you.

PollyRockets · 12/08/2022 21:40

@Miffee

You really are struggling now

Bringing seriously irrelevant information into this as you have 0 leg to stand on

It's a shame you have decided to go down this route, although you don't seem to have much choice as you have no basis for thinking that educating women and girls is a bad thing

Miffee · 12/08/2022 21:42

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gnilliwdog · 12/08/2022 21:42

threetimesacharm · 12/08/2022 21:34

When I was 17 I had a ‘friends with benefits’ aka a guy I was desperately into, older, hot, popular and I naively thought if I slept with him enough eventually he’d be with me. He would treat me like shit and I went back time and time again. He got bored of me, rather than fell hopelessly in love. I couldn’t cope with it and made myself look absolutely desperate practically begging him to come see me. He offered to pick me up from my birthday night out on my 18th but only if he could do you want put it in my ass. Again naivety made me think this was sexy but the reality was very different. He shoved himself into my mouth and held it there so long I was gagging and being sick in my mouth and he then pulled out and put it straight into my anus. He ignored my crying, did what he wanted to do and left me bleeding. He usually let me sleep over or dropped me home but instead he just kicked me out on to the street at 4am and I sat in a heap crying until a bus came at 8am to take me home. One of the most horrible memories I have, and the most degraded I have ever felt. He told everyone that he ‘ass fucked and lass chucked’ me. I was in pain for a week physically and a lot longer mentally. This isn’t something I ever talk about but it could so easily be your daughter. I wasn’t an overly sexual person at all. He was the second guy I’d ever slept with. I was naive and thought I was in love and thought I could get his attention. Everyone singing about how good anal is, I hope you can still understand exactly why you should warn your daughters about it.

I am so sorry. This is a terrible thing to happen. I hope you have been able to heal from this. There have been quite a few women on this thread who have been abused in this way. My heart goes out to you all. We need to educate the boys and men and refuse to accept the normalisation of painful and dangerous sexual acts.

Miffee · 12/08/2022 21:42

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AdamRyan · 12/08/2022 21:44

threetimesacharm · 12/08/2022 21:34

When I was 17 I had a ‘friends with benefits’ aka a guy I was desperately into, older, hot, popular and I naively thought if I slept with him enough eventually he’d be with me. He would treat me like shit and I went back time and time again. He got bored of me, rather than fell hopelessly in love. I couldn’t cope with it and made myself look absolutely desperate practically begging him to come see me. He offered to pick me up from my birthday night out on my 18th but only if he could do you want put it in my ass. Again naivety made me think this was sexy but the reality was very different. He shoved himself into my mouth and held it there so long I was gagging and being sick in my mouth and he then pulled out and put it straight into my anus. He ignored my crying, did what he wanted to do and left me bleeding. He usually let me sleep over or dropped me home but instead he just kicked me out on to the street at 4am and I sat in a heap crying until a bus came at 8am to take me home. One of the most horrible memories I have, and the most degraded I have ever felt. He told everyone that he ‘ass fucked and lass chucked’ me. I was in pain for a week physically and a lot longer mentally. This isn’t something I ever talk about but it could so easily be your daughter. I wasn’t an overly sexual person at all. He was the second guy I’d ever slept with. I was naive and thought I was in love and thought I could get his attention. Everyone singing about how good anal is, I hope you can still understand exactly why you should warn your daughters about it.

I'm so sorry that happened to you 😔

AdamRyan · 12/08/2022 21:45

gnilliwdog · 12/08/2022 21:42

I am so sorry. This is a terrible thing to happen. I hope you have been able to heal from this. There have been quite a few women on this thread who have been abused in this way. My heart goes out to you all. We need to educate the boys and men and refuse to accept the normalisation of painful and dangerous sexual acts.

Show quote history

👏👏

Luredbyapomegranate · 12/08/2022 21:48

11GrumpsaGrumping · 12/08/2022 11:35

@Luredbyapomegranate women are not more vulnerable than men, at least not when it comes to anal sex. Gay and bisexual men are just as at risk if they have unsafe and non consensual anal sex- with just as much damage. The difference is IN GENERAL they seem to be more clued up about how to do it safely.

@11GrumpsaGrumping

The article, which appears to be properly sourced, suggests that women's physiology makes them more vulnerable to injury from anal sex.

I think you need to separate that possibility from your feelings about being judged for liking anal sex. The point the article is making is that people need to be more aware of the complications, which is perfectly reasonable.

excitingusername · 12/08/2022 21:56

@11GrumpsaGrumping

Wow. Imagine if the hill you seemed to be willing to die on (or spend all afternoon and night arguing in defence of) was the freedom to shove things in your ...!

Just think about that for a second. Try to remember a time before you were that person.

Midlifemusings · 12/08/2022 21:57

Luredbyapomegranate · 12/08/2022 21:48

@11GrumpsaGrumping

The article, which appears to be properly sourced, suggests that women's physiology makes them more vulnerable to injury from anal sex.

I think you need to separate that possibility from your feelings about being judged for liking anal sex. The point the article is making is that people need to be more aware of the complications, which is perfectly reasonable.

Show quote history

It really isn't properly sourced unfortunately. However my own research (see previous post) found that post anal sex 8.2% of gay men and 9.9% of women experienced fecal incontinence post anal sex. Without anal sex 7.3% of women experience fecal incontinence.

TheWeeDonkey · 12/08/2022 22:10

PollyRockets · 12/08/2022 21:27

@Miffee

That's why it's good to back this up at home

I've had many discussions with my eldest 2 children about anal sex, oral, consent, threesomes, various 'kinks' including BDSM and we even watched a great documentary on puppy play.

What the🐶😯🤮

excitingusername · 12/08/2022 22:11

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MorganKitten · 12/08/2022 22:11

gnilliwdog · 12/08/2022 14:05

Some people enjoy a bit of pain and fear, but really it belongs in s and m. Blame 50 shades. It's different for men who have the prostate and can get some pleasure from it. Women who say it's fun must have some unique wiring going on with pain pleasure sensors. Don't like men thinking pressuring women into this is ok. It goes with all the choking, spitting, slapping misogyny of porn. Utterly depressing for women.

50 shades is not any part of the BDSM world, it’s rape. Those of us who enjoy bdsm and sub/dom wouldn’t agree with anything in that book.

TheWeeDonkey · 12/08/2022 22:14

MorganKitten · 12/08/2022 22:11

50 shades is not any part of the BDSM world, it’s rape. Those of us who enjoy bdsm and sub/dom wouldn’t agree with anything in that book.

Show quote history

Mate, anyone who's into reading wouldn't agree with anything in that book!

gnilliwdog · 12/08/2022 22:17

MorganKitten · 12/08/2022 22:11

50 shades is not any part of the BDSM world, it’s rape. Those of us who enjoy bdsm and sub/dom wouldn’t agree with anything in that book.

Show quote history

Yes, sorry, I haven't read it. But it was hyped and very popular, leading, I think, to a lot of inexperienced people experimenting. I respect the BDSM community for their generally responsible attitude. Had a friend who DJd for clubs in London and was always struck that a lone woman was safer and less harassed in a fetish club than in a straight, mainstream club.

gnilliwdog · 12/08/2022 22:19

Actually not harassed at all. I believe clubs took a zero tolerance policy.

MorganKitten · 12/08/2022 22:20

LapinR0se · 12/08/2022 18:31

Pretty much every porn I have ever watched has this exact chain of events
Man stokes woman’s breasts
She is instantly turned on and starts giving him a blow job whilst writhing around and moaning
He grabs her head while she is doing the blow job so he is in control (dangerous and disrespectful)
She gets a tiny bit of stimulation on her clit and starts squirting everywhere (highly unlikely)
He does anal while she uses a vibrator on herself (vagina) and she has multiple orgasms
He ejaculates all over her

and I’m sorry to say that this is the trajectory that guys seem to expect these days

you need to find better porn…

HRTQueen · 12/08/2022 22:31

no It’s not about finding better porn it’s about violent and degrading porn becoming mainstream and influencing what is deemed acceptable sex that’s they issue

MorganKitten · 12/08/2022 22:32

gnilliwdog · 12/08/2022 22:17

Yes, sorry, I haven't read it. But it was hyped and very popular, leading, I think, to a lot of inexperienced people experimenting. I respect the BDSM community for their generally responsible attitude. Had a friend who DJd for clubs in London and was always struck that a lone woman was safer and less harassed in a fetish club than in a straight, mainstream club.

Show quote history

There’s a lot of rules in clubs and women are way more respected in there than normal clubs.

PollyRockets · 12/08/2022 22:36

@excitingusername

Hardly

The show was rated 15

So perfectly fine for my eldest 2 children

MorganKitten · 12/08/2022 22:36

HRTQueen · 12/08/2022 22:31

no It’s not about finding better porn it’s about violent and degrading porn becoming mainstream and influencing what is deemed acceptable sex that’s they issue

My friend was told by her religious mother 25 years ago that to stay a virgin until marriage but anal sex was something to put up with to stay pure until marriage. I’m sure she never watched porn. Women I’ve worked with in America summer camps has been told the same thing.
It not just porn, anal has been around as long as humans have. Education is what’s needed to support girls making personal choices and feeling safe to say no.

excitingusername · 12/08/2022 22:38

PollyRockets · 12/08/2022 22:36

@excitingusername

Hardly

The show was rated 15

So perfectly fine for my eldest 2 children

Ok groomer.

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