Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

[Doyoumind]

Apart from all the violence etc porn portrays as normal, anal sex is definitely treated as an everyday thing that women enjoy. I don't personally. I know some women claim they do but I've certainly known men who pressure for it and I'm guessing it's only got worse in the years since I was dating.

This article suggests women are unknowingly entering into something that can cause serious injuries.

www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/11/rise-in-popularity-of-anal-sex-has-led-to-health-problems-for-women

@Perplexed0522

Since they do for other aspects of sex yes

It's called balance and giving people all the information so they can make informed choices

The 'if you have sex you'll get pregnant and die' methods of sexual education of yesteryear didn't work out too well

I know a few Gay men who say they don’t either give or receive anal sex.
People assume it’s the “Go to” option, but seems BJ’s are more comfortable.

So where does it end?

What other kinks should school be telling the children are sexually pleasurable?

Threesomes?
Swinging?
Deep Throat?
Poppers?
Cock rings?
Sadism?

Maybe they could put 50 Shades of Grey on the TV for them?

There are some things that are not suitable to be taught in school and discussing the pleasures associated with sexual acts that the female body is not designed for and can cause the girls long term harm is one of them.

if that makes me a prude then so be it.

@Perplexed0522

Well yes it does make you a prude

Why not discuss all aspects of sex with children

My own mother told me about oral sex, I talk to my teens about most of that listed quite regularly

My son especially

I don't think that people (mainly men) believe that porn is "real" in any sense and women certainly must consent to acts in the bedroom. It's the same in gay relationships; injuries happen when you insert anything into an orifice that is usually one way (no judgment, do what you want in the bedroom I say!) Same with rough sex in vaginal spaces, if you aren't careful you can cause problems.

I do think that people need to research things before they try them though. Taking a penis up the bum is no easy task and must be done slowly and with a lot of er lube! Both men AND women need to take responsibility for what they consent to in the bedroom - this isn't men imposing their will on women. If you don't want to take it up the bum, don't.

As an aside, I've had more gay friends who have had physical health complications from anal sex than female. Prolapses galore 😱

What message would that send to gay boys? That anuses are not meant for sex, that it isn't normal, and isn't part of healthy sexual activity?

Mothers talking to their children about it all = normal.

Saying it should be included in the school curriculum = not normal.

On a side note re: 50 Shades of Grey... Its ironic/interesting with the whole #MeToo and consent etc that it was the biggest selling book for women in years. Given that men are supposed to be the sex fiends yet women seemed to love hearing about Mr Grey and his sadistic shenanigans

@Perplexed0522

Why not?

Not everyone has parents who are open about sex

Children such as yours

Well seeing as the men have their prostrate gland in their anus which would make sex pleasurable, and the fact that their anatomy is different to that of females, it isn’t really a comparison.

The issue that is being discussed is the potential harm that can be caused to women if they have anal sex - it is not about two men having anal sex.

@Perplexed0522 it's absolutely possible to talk about anal sensibly

Example: some People enjoy anal sex, however, it can be dangerous due to XYZ injuries. Some of you may already have watched lien, objectification, not respecting boundaries and consent. Can anyone tell me how you should react if your boyfriend/girlfriend is unsure about anal sex? What STIs can be transferred?

It's not comparable to sadism and threesomes. Anal sex is another type of penetration in the body, not a scenario (don't know how to explain it). Oral, vaginal, anal.

Teenagers know what anal is, why oppose discussion? Not talking about it in sex Ed does not prevent anal sex when porn use is rife. Where else are people supposed to learn about this, do we just leave it to porn? Which, even if you like anal, portrays it very unrealistically?

Also, I don't think there's anything wrong with talking about cock rings, they don't cause harm, afaik? They're just sex toys or whatever.

Oh and
^
If you attempt any sexual activity, always make sure the area is lubricated.^

So you don't need to 'promote' it outright but give teens the tools.

It’s part of ‘rough sex’ becoming mainstream and normalised because of porn, injures will happen if you are not relaxed, take it slow and use plenty of lube. Sex education does not need to advise on this because a loving couple will work out what works for them. The problem is 100% the 24/7 access to porn that is depicting violence and anal at 100mph, (some) men think this translates into real life and have zero respect for how their partner feels. Sex education needs to focus more on how porn is unrealistic and harmful and encourage teenagers to shun it.

I think I live on another planet.

I would love to see a teacher be happy to teach children about the pleasures of anal sex, oral sex, three-ways, sex enhancing drugs, sex toys, how to give the best blow job, the joys of being spanked and tied up etc.

Im sure teachers would jump at the chance to do that just in case some children aren’t receiving these discussions at home 😂

How would a teacher be qualified to give out advice on these matters anyway? What would be the requirement? 😂

@Stoma It's another type of penetration, but one that many women find painful, if this thread is anything to go by. So it is not like oral or vaginal. You couldn't responsibly cover the topic without explaining that it is painful for many people as well as potentially risky.

@Perplexed0522

Probably the same qualifications they currently carry to discuss sex and intimacy in schools

Some teachers find that embarrassing - doesn't stop them doing their job though

Has it ever occurred to you that you can't explain it because the difference is something you have created in your head and doesn't actually exist?

Do you honestly believe that porn hasn't normalised this act? When I was a teen girls having anal sex was seen as filthy and disgusted not something we needed to learn about in HSE.

So what happens when porn normalises the next thing? Do we just throw our hands up and teach girls how to safely engage in a gang bang?

@Miffee

So you think it's a good thing for young girls and women to be shamed?

You sound like my gran!

I think it is a bit disgusting to be honest. It's not at all what the human body was designed for.

Many gay men find anal sex quite painful and do not get pleasure from it at all. However it is the only penetrative sex they can have given their anatomy. Many do it for the same reasons as women - or feel even more coerced or pressured because they don't have another option for penetrative sex. Diseases are much higher for men having anal sex. Many take drugs (poppers) to help with the pain.

When I was a teen girls having anal sex was seen as filthy and disgusted not something we needed to learn about in HSE.

And ?

Don't understand what the relevance of this is.

How old are you?

It used to be filthy for women to express a desire for vaginal sex.

Many (men) take drugs (poppers) to help with the pain.

I suppose this could be included in the lesson too then? It gives the girls more options to try rather than just say no?

Well my generation will have a lot less incontinence problems but I suppose we are missing out because although we dodged that bullet a tiny minority of us will never know the "joy" of anal sex. And you think thats a win.

It shouldn't be normal for teenage girls to have to address this. They are not emotionally mature enough to find a partner they can safely dangerous sexual acts with. The only group of people more unsuited is teenage boys who presumably the girls will be doing this with.

I am an adult woman. I have a loving and trusted sex life. I don't need to be actively educated on a sex act to try it, I discuss it and explore it with a trusted partner and seek out further information if needs be. It doesn't matter if its anal, or BDSM or anything else. The thing that is important is the trust and respect, not the practical aspect of the task. This is how it should be. It's comes with maturity, self respect and confidence.

It's horrifying to me that you think teenage girls should know how to avoid "tearing their arsehole" (as one anal advicate put it) by using lube and going slow. If this can happen there are two scenarios here

1-The suggestion is that this can happen immediately when the task is initiated which indicates that this just isn't safe.

2-The suggestion is that the women will suffer discomfort and pain until severe damage is done.

The answer to either of those scenarios is not teach teenage girls to lube up.

@Miffee

So you'd prefer to pretend no one will try anal sex instead?

If a young girl wants to try it out she should be armed with the information needed to make it as painless as possible

How anyone could be against that is beyond me

But then again you have no issue shaming women for consensual acts of sexual pleasure so...