Porn culture has led to women suffering injuries during sex

[Doyoumind]

Apart from all the violence etc porn portrays as normal, anal sex is definitely treated as an everyday thing that women enjoy. I don't personally. I know some women claim they do but I've certainly known men who pressure for it and I'm guessing it's only got worse in the years since I was dating.

This article suggests women are unknowingly entering into something that can cause serious injuries.

www.theguardian.com/society/2022/aug/11/rise-in-popularity-of-anal-sex-has-led-to-health-problems-for-women

Except when they’re not. That’s the problem here. I completely accept that some people (men and women) genuinely enjoy receiving anal sex. Fine. But when porn turns it into a normal everyday standard sex act, it becomes much more difficult for teen girls and young women just starting their sexual lives to say to their partners ´no, that sounds gross and painful to me, I don’t want to try it’. They might believe they really do need to try it, even if it’s unappealing to them, just to make sure they don’t enjoy it. They might believe they need to do it to keep their partner interested or faithful. Education about injuries resulting from anal sex would give young women a cast iron reason to say ´no, not for me thanks, I heard it can make you shit yourself’.

Agree with @Thatswhyimacat

I need to read the research about the structural differences between male and female anuses in more detail. I expect there is more to it and other contributing factors.

I have repeatedly said though that we need to mitigate damage of the porn industry, educate women about boundaries and consent, educate all about active versus passive consent, and look at the relationship between safety, pleasure, and experimentation. I am not and have never said that everyone should have anal or that we should tell young women HOW to have anal as if it's expected. I do think that if people WANT to have anal, we should help them do it safely.

To the PP who said that vaginal sex was safe and risk free. What I meant was, there are inherent risks in all sex: risk of infection increases with dryness, women can experience pain if they aren't wet enough, cervixes can be hit and bruised, bleeding, pain, pregnancy, STI transmission- all potentially risks of vaginal sex and people need information about those risks and importantly about how to mitigate them. Oral sex can transmit STIs. My point was that consent is often given for all sorts of things without people realising all of the risks - which is where good education comes in.

I didn't say it was risk free. I said the risks from vaginal sex are not comparable to anal sex. You falsely equate the two, I think so you can overlook the fact you enjoy something risky.

Please note I have no problem with you enjoying putting things in your anus

Yet here you are, again, making derogatory comments about other people's choices.

it's the wittering on I take issue with.

Says the most frequent poster on this thread.

Perhaps we should be teaching our daughters that if a guy is wanting to ‘do anal’ because ‘everyone does it’ her response at his first suggestion should be, ‘absolutely, get face down on your knees and I’ll start with four fingers up your arse for the first 5 minutes'.

If he declines and still pushes her she can then ask him why he wants to do to her that which he won’t countenance being done to himself. Play that ‘everyone does it’ right back at him.

Hopefully the hypocrisy alone will help her to walk away and find someone else who is instead interested in fulfilling and consensual sexual experiences for both parties.

I’m sure I read another thread on here a while back about young women having anal sex to preserve their “virginity.”

Thank you for this message, I wanted to say this but could not have done it half as eloquently as you did. This thread is getting hijacked by the "I love it" "I hate it", but it seems that everyone agrees that education about this is important? and as a caretaker of teenagers, well that's why I came on the thread. This was what I was looking for.

Sex board has mostly men there.
Imagine that….

couldn’t agree more have said similar to my daughter !

God these comments show why most avoid AIBU for many topics

The absolutely unnecessary comments to and about women who enjoy anal sex is really quite shocking, if not surprising

I also disagree with PP around not educating on this subject. Education is the key to most of the worlds problems, the more young girls and young men know about their bodies, what's risky, what might feel nice but has risks attached and what do to in a wide range of situations is so important.

Perhaps you missed the part of my post where I said and we need to teach boys to respect their sexual partners, to accept "no" without coercion or shaming. Both sexes will benefit from understanding that the majority of modern porn is misogynistic and fake and is not a template for a healthy sex life.

There's not much to educate about bum sex, and certainly not in schools. It just normalises a pretty crappy sexual activity. Pun not intended.

Completely agree

@DrShepsBall

It's already normalised

Pretending it's not is what leads to many on here thinking it's ok to sexually shame women for having different preferences to their own, and leads women to having no idea about the risks associated with anal sex

Educating about a subject doesn't make people more likely to do it. Did you have the same opinion on schools educating around sexual intercourse from year 5?

I’m gay and lots of my straight women friends are under pressure to do it, few seem to enjoy it.
25 years ago this deffo wasn’t the case. It shouldn’t be ‘normal’ if both parties aren’t into it. I know lots of gay men where it’s not a regular feature for them either.

Women's anuses are no different than men's- what nonsense!

They are very different. For one, men have a prostate up there. And the female anus and rectum are in close proximity to the vaginal canal and opening.

This is much needed health information that needs further publicising.
Especially the differences between men & women physiologically & the scope for women to suffer harm from this. It’s far too normalised & the risks need to really flagged up so as to arm younger women especially from being pressurised into complying with something potentially really harmful. About time but more needs to be done. Surely sexual practises should be about informed choices & informed consent. We are doing women a disservice allowing this to be swept under the carpet any longer.

That’s interesting and very worrying. Sadly I agree with what you’ve said it won’t stop. Porn is predominately made by and for men with a very few exceptions. It’s all about the male gaze. Is such a huge thing now compared to pre internet days that it affects relationships and even fashion it’s scary.

Pretty much every porn I have ever watched has this exact chain of events
Man stokes woman’s breasts
She is instantly turned on and starts giving him a blow job whilst writhing around and moaning
He grabs her head while she is doing the blow job so he is in control (dangerous and disrespectful)
She gets a tiny bit of stimulation on her clit and starts squirting everywhere (highly unlikely)
He does anal while she uses a vibrator on herself (vagina) and she has multiple orgasms
He ejaculates all over her

and I’m sorry to say that this is the trajectory that guys seem to expect these days

You might have a point there, I'd have passed on completing a survey like this if I'd known about it.

I didn't enjoy anal with my ex. He left me bleeding more than once because he didn't see a need for lube, he thought a bit of spit was good enough. I refused as much as I could but he did coerce me a lot.

I doubt I'd ever try again, but if the bloke was safe, and helped me prepare properly, and used lube, I might consider it. Fingers felt OK, though.

So I guess it is down to proper preparation with the right person, and I wouldn't judge. But these reported injuries do make me feel as if the current flood of porn has a lot to answer for.

*Please note I have no problem with you enjoying putting things in your anus, it's the wittering on I take issue with.
*
Read most of the thread and tbh you're doing most of the wittering. And yes you do seem to have a problem with it.

Five year olds àre not given sex education, not in the way you think. It is all relationships and social skills etc.
In year six when they start to learn about puberty they learn the asbolute basics of conception and that is a very recent addition.

No one has said they are

I said year 5

Read properly next time

@Namechange10002 I’m really sorry to hear about everything you have been through. Please don’t let him back into your life. I’ve not had an experience like this but my ex was an alcoholic who was physically and emotionally abusive. I was scared of being on my own as I had a serious illness and a young child. I had no family near me either and I hadn’t told them the full extent of what was going on. Financially I was dependant on him, but it is possible to survive all this and come out the other side. Get advice from citizens advice etc about practical help like benefits etc. I wish you all the best xx